Fiction/Humor Memoir

The Disney Express

Disneyland came into existence just when I was born. Disneyland opened on July 17, 1955, in Anaheim, California, and is the only Disney theme park personally built and opened under Walt Disney’s direct supervision. Walt got the idea in the late 1930s/40s while watching his daughters play at amusement parks and wishing there was a place parents could enjoy too. He wanted something clean, family-friendly, and immersive, unlike the seedy carnival parks of the era. So, Disney bought 160 acres of orange groves and walnut farms in Anaheim, then a revisit suburb of Los Angeles. Construction took about a year and cost roughly $17 million (way over budget). He financed it partly through a deal with ABC, which got a stake in the park in exchange for airing a weekly “Disneyland” TV show that promoted it. Opening day was famously chaotic and was nicknamed “Black Sunday.” Counterfeit tickets let in far more people than expected, asphalt was still wet in the summer heat, a plumbers’ strike meant some fountains worked but not all the toilets, and a gas leak forced Fantasyland to close temporarily. Despite the mess, it was broadcast live on TV to millions. The park was divided into themed lands with Main Street U.S.A., Adventureland, Frontierland, Fantasyland, and Tomorrowland. That created a structure that became the template for theme parks worldwide. Walt kept modifying Disneyland constantly, reportedly saying “Disneyland will never be completed.”

I first went to Disneyland in those early years of the late 50s when my snarky moved from Venezuela to Santa Monica. I don’t really have much recollection of those visits except that my older sister Kathy, who is three years my senior got shit scared in the Snow White and the Seven Dwarves ride, and I sort of remember getting our picture taken in front of the castle. My next exposure is in 1962 when I did my cross-country trek from Wisconsin with my Uncle John and Aunt Kitty. I was picked up in San Diego by my errant father (who had gone his own way four years earlier and stayed in Southern California, while we had traipsed through Myers, Costa Rica and landed in Wisconsin), and during the ride north to his home in Simi Valley, we passed by Disneyland and he told me all about the Matterhorn ride. He had taken his new family (two daughters) and while I got a nice description of the ride, I had to settle for what I could see from the Freeway. My older kids (Roger & Carolyn) have always been big Disney fans and I lose count of the number of visits we have made to Disneyland, DisneyWorld and even EuroDisney over the years, but let’s just say that I’ve been a lot.

When I was working to reclaim value from $3 billion of broken commercial real estate in 2009, I had extensive meetings with the Disney Imagineering people in both Glendale and New York as I tried to sell them on buying the old New York Times Building on Times Square from us. I did a presentation that ended with a visual comparison of the top of that iconic New York building and the Disneyland Castle, which looked amazingly similar. They opted to invest in cruise ships instead, but it was quite a ride. Back when I was attempting to build out my own mega attraction, The New York Wheel, I made a special trip to Disneyland to see their Soaring Ride so that I could evaluate it as a possible secondary ride at our site on New York Harbor. Disney is quite secretive about its attractions and I almost got tossed out for trying to take pictures of the ride while we (I took the family) rode on it. I thought that was all we needed to do on that visit, but I got entirely outvoted by the gang, who made me stay for the rest of the day and run around California Adventure until my dogs were barking…as they say.

Every summer when my daughter Carolyn and her gang come to visit, we give them a three day mini-trip to Disneyland, which I suspect is one of the selling points of hanging out with us oldsters for a month. This year is no exception and that episode begins tomorrow. They will take Kim’s car and head up to Anaheim at the butt-crack of dawn to be there for the opening bell. They will meet up with Kim’s nephew Josh and his family (something they have done several times before for these Disney trips) and then spend the whole day (and I do mean the WHOLE day) at the Park, doing what Carolyn is an uncontested pro at, optimizing a day at Disney to ride every ride and see every sight to be seen. Then, on Wednesday, Kim and will also get up at the butt-crack of dawn, drop Buddy off with his pal Auggie for the day and drive to the Oceanside Amtrak station to catch the Sulfliner to Anaheim, where we will catch the 553 bus to Disneyland. We will actually be spending the day at California Adventure.

Disney California Adventure opened in 2001 and is themed around California’s landscapes, history, and pop culture rather than the fairy-tale/fantasy focus of Disneyland Park next door. It’s organized into distinct themed lands starting with Buena Vista Street, the entrance area, styled like 1920s-30s Los Angeles. That leads to Hollywood Land (home to Guardians of the Galaxy) and the Avengers Campus, a Marvel-themed Spider-Man Adventure among other characters. Then there’s Cars Land, the park’s signature area, a detailed recreation of Radiator Springs from the Cars movies, with Radiator Springs Racers as the marquee ride. Other rides include Grizzly Peak (rafting), Soarin’ Around the World (the ride I previously came to see), Pixar Pier, Paradise Gardens Park (Goofy’s Sky School). God knows if we will be riding any of these given the normal summer-time lines. I have no idea if Carolyn has secured Lightning Lane passes, but I’m betting that she’s figured something out.

We are on the 6:57am Surfliner in the morning and returning on the Surfliner that arrives back in Oceanside at 9:07pm. Adding the 30 minutes each way, my math tells me that Wednesday will be at least a 15-hour day for us. While I’m sure the train ride will be very relaxing, the rest of the 12 hours. All aboard for the Disney Express!!!

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