Every once in a while I find it necessary to write a story about Kim. Sometimes she does something extraordinary that is worthy of a post. Other times its about my deep appreciation about some act of kindness I see her undertake. And then there are times which I will characterize as “down times” when I am just siting there with her by my side and I find myself thanking the Universe and Gary Kremen, along with Peng T. Ong, who, in 1995, created Match.com. It was one of the first major online dating websites and it was how I met Kim in 2005. There’s a funny story about how she had delisted from match.com and saw my profile and paid $9.95 to refuse so she could meet me. It’s one of my great moments in sports since I can fairly accurately claim that no woman has otherwise ever paid good money just to meet me. In fact, I recall a conversation I once had with a banking colleague who was particularly good looking who wondered to my face how I ever met women. He said quite directly that he could understand women finding me more interesting after they got to know me, but couldn’t for the life of him understand how I could get women to initially engaged with me. If its ever a mystery why some people (like me) are modest about their looks or their social skills, this example might help explain how that thinking develops.
I picked Kim up on that fateful Saturday night in June 2005 in front of her apartment on West 46th Street. I had spent the day playing golf up in Hopewell Junction with an old college friend and was wearing khakis and a button-down oxford shirt, my casual uniform for many years. Kim wore a bright fuschia top and was sporting a short blonde haircut. We went for dinner to a restaurant down on the lower west side called Park that was in a repurposed parking garage. We immediately hit if off and I remember a very pleasant dinner which we both ate with gusto rather than being picky or fussy. I probably went a little bit overboard when I told her she was the most beautiful woman I had ever met. What’s strange about that is that it wasn’t a line. It was exactly how I felt in the moment. I liken it to when a man sees his first born. It is the most perfect and most beautiful baby in the world even if to others the baby is indistinguishable from the thousands of other babies born that same moment. I had met lots of pretty women in my life and had even ventured to date a few….and had even married two by then. But for some reason, Kim and her looks so deeply resonated with my soul that in that moment she was, indeed, the most beautiful woman I had ever met.
For various reasons, our dating whirlwind that followed that night took only a little over a month to evolve into an agreement that she would move in to my apartment with me. For my part, the practical issue was that I do not like living alone. For her part, the practical issue was that a South Street Seaport Penthouse was a better living arrangement than a shared sixth floor walk up in Hell’s Kitchen. To be clear, I probably could have enticed several other women into that living arrangement and I am confident that Kim could have found plenty of guys who wanted her to move in with them, so I like to think that there was much more at play than the practical lifestyle realities at work. I prefer to think that the universe realized that we were meant to be together and allowed that to transpire.
We have now lived together for just over twenty years and I can honestly say that it just gets better and better. What I mean by that is that is that we are so compatible and comfortable with each other that we have never had any major disagreements and only a few minor and transitory squabbles along the way. We seem, for all intents and purposes, to be perfectly matched with one another. I take care of her needs and she takes care of my needs. Isn’t that what a partnership is supposed to be about? I completely understand that to the outside world I got the better part of that deal, and I would generally agree with them even though no one knows exactly what goes on behind closed doors, as they say. To me, Kim is the most wonderful person in the world and like my first reaction to her looks, I realize that is a subjective evaluation, but I also feel that most if not all people who interact with her can see that about her. No one is perfect, but Kim comes damn close.
We both agree on silly things like throwing parties and fiestas like we just did. We both agree on how we should treat people who help us in our lives and the importance of keeping ourselves immersed in diversity at all times (even though she thinks everyone who goes to WinCo is a redneck). We seem to have reached more or less the same balancing point about enjoying being at home and traveling and having a calm, non-partying life and still going out to see the lights whenever we can. All the things that require agreement we seem to agree on. I handle the outdoors of our home and she handles the indoors. I get her opinion and take it into account and she does likewise with my point of view. We either more or less like the same sorts of food or we seem to manage to deal with our differences in stride. I like savory and spicy more than her and she likes sweet more than I do, but it never gets in the way of enjoying our meals. She naps almost every day and I rarely fall asleep during the day for more than a moment of two and only if I’m in my recliner. We can sit and enjoy an evening of TV and internet scrolling night after night without concern.
As we prepare for this upcoming European trip, I know we will have a great time, because we always enjoy traveling together. It’s a bit more fun to travel with friends as we are this time with Pete & Nancy, but we are equally comfortable traveling alone, as we will be in November to Hawaii and Mexico City. I find myself regularly sitting here wondering how I got so lucky as to meet Kim. I don’t know the answer to that question but as the song “Something Good” in The Sound of Music goes… “nothing comes from nothing,” so those of us with something good must have earned our good fortune somehow.