Fiction/Humor Memoir

The Zoo

The Zoo

Today I attended the third annual “Power to Ammonia” conference here in Rotterdam. You have to love the tag line. As a child of the sixties, I can hear John Lennon singing “Power to the People”, followed by Jefferson Airplane and their Volunteers. “Got a revolution!” This was no difference, except it’s a different kind of revolution. We all wore bright green lanyards around our necks because what this conference is all about is using renewable power to make ammonia rather than using hydrocarbons and thereby adding to the excess greenhouse gas (GHG) problem that plagues modern life. Understand that 110 years ago, two German Scientists, who both eventually earned the Nobel Prize in Chemistry and have been called the most impactful scientists of the twentieth century, brought ammonia into a powerful position. They invented that chemical process in question and made possible much of modern life, while being one of the biggest contributors to our ultimate Climate Crisis. All of the companies that have profited (and still do) from that process, were among the 98 companies represented at the conference. They see the handwriting on the wall and know their record-breaking run with this old technology is nearing its end and that they need to pay attention to the next turn.

The conference has been held for two years now at the Rotterdam Zoo in Blijdorp. The hotel next to the zoo is where we stay and the Oceanium of the zoo, an indoor underwater world complete with undersea walkways and aquariums all around, is where we meet. It was probably right-sized for the 130 conference attendees last year, but is decidedly too tight for this year’s 165 attendees. It’s also a bit of a maze finding our way to the Oceanium, which I imagine is a fun quest with your kids, but a hot and humid ordeal when business people are wandering around an early morning zoo with insufficient signage. There are basically two auditoriums connected by a lounge area. There are too few tables and chairs in the lounge to seat even a third of the attendees and the stand-up tables do not make up the difference. The big “plenary” auditorium had exactly enough seats for the crowd so no sitting big is allowed. The breaks were real “feeding time at the zoo” affairs and despite civilized European china and service, it was all a bit of a mess with everyone trying to find quiet places to caucus.

Like any specialty conference, the themes are fairly limited and the battle lines are somewhat clearly drawn. I would say that there were several dimensions in evidence today. To begin with, there was the Hydrogen crowd versus the Ammonia crowd. H2 versus NH3. The battle of the high-powered energy carriers. This is a classic VHS v. Betamax confrontation. There are arguments in both directions, but Hydrogen is the Iceman to Ammonia’s Maverick in Top Gun parlance. Hydrogen had fifteen years in the zone to take its shot and couldn’t pull the trigger. It finally had to wave-off a few years ago to let Ammonia go to guns. It’s Ammonia’s moment, but Hydrogen people can’t help themselves and they rush on stage to grab the mic in an attempt to restate their case.

The next controversial dimension is fertilizer people versus energy people. Hydrogen is all about energy except that it’s half the ammonia puzzle and ammonia can go either way but is currently most heavily (80%) used for fertilizer. In our goody-bags we got a Fertilizer International 50th anniversary issue. Can you imagine reading about fertilizer for 50 years? There is also an ammonia molecule LEGO toy, a handy crib card with the molecular weight of Hydrogen, Ammonia and other famous compounds, and various other useful swag. I would say the fertilizer people won the day, but the energy people own the future. The biggest fight was about where things would be in 2100. I had a hard time engaging in that debate.

These conferences go from the commercial to the academic. We saw presentations about Hydrogen cars, Ammonia ships and sunlight-powered nitrogen separators. Believe it or not, the nitrogen separator won the popularity contest. Two recent Ph.D.’s reveled in telling us about their claim to have the largest array of sunlamps in the world. I asked if it was made for Donald Trump tan maintenance. No one got the joke. Ammonia people are a serious breed.

There was a zoo cocktail party and dinner at some monkey house or other, but as the leader of our delegation, I voted to cool off at the hotel where we could debrief one another about the day. There had been overlapping sessions that needed discussion, but mostly there were real seats and tables and not logs and box lunches with camel chow packets. Tomorrow there is sunrise walk through the zoo for those interested. Some will surely join, but I will stick with hotel eggs and toast. I will then wander back over to the zoo for a second day of wondering if the animals really like that smell over there. I will not be surprised to see people with stains on their clothes from animals who are not fond of being woken up with breakfast in bed by electrochemists looking for a fight.

I’m already wondering where next year’s conference will be held. Given that the sponsors are mostly Dutch, I’m guessing we will be nearby. I imagine something with tulips, windmills or dikes will be in order. As for the zoo, it really is a perfectly pleasant zoo and I truly do admire the seriousness of the Dutch attitude towards zoos and preserving the earth (whether in animal husbandry or GHG’s). The Dutch are a people crammed into the Low Countries of Western Europe. They have a mixed and complex set of relationships between themselves, the Belgians, the Germans and the Danes, much like the Israelis, Lebanese, Syrians, Jordanians and Egyptians. Those are economic, political, cultural and linguistic, and the Dutch have learned to push back against every usurper, including the North Sea. They’re a scrappy but principled lot. In fact, their little over-farmed, over-crowded, over-hydrated country has made them a very durable people with pragmatism and persistence their badges of honor.

We may find a new venue for next year to throw ammonia and hydrogen at each other, but I’m guessing that if it stays in The Netherlands, it will still be a zoo nonetheless.