The Homecoming
In another six weeks or so, Kim and I will drive into the driveway of 313 Warren Road in Ithaca. I have had that address as one of my homes since 1996 when I took a long term leasehold on the property and renovated it to my liking. Since then I have used the house for a decade as a vacation home and Alma Mater gathering spot, for another decade as a weekly pit stop when I was teaching at Cornell, and for the last five or so years I have enjoyed watching my children use the house for their own families and friends. Every one of my family members has some sort of connection to that property and the fabric that has woven into that family tapestry is all about Cornell University in one way or another. The house has served three generations of Cornellians and is possibly a starting point in a fourth generation in the form of my two grandchildren who summer there. Twenty-five years ago as I was renovating the home I searched for just the right name for the house that would symbolize everything about it. I came up with Homeward Bound with the multiple meanings of homecoming to the aforementioned Alma Mater, the fact that it overlooks the eighteenth tee of the Robert Trent Jones Golf Course of Cornell University (hitting on the eighteenth being termed as hitting home in golf jargon) and the fact that my mother’s family, as immigrants, had always called Ithaca their home and my connection to that heritage is strong, making Ithaca my spiritual home. And last, but not least, the homeward connection goes back to the Homeric legend of Odysseus who strives through his travels and adventures always to return home to his version of Ithaca in the Greek Isles.
But homecomings rarely happen all at once and most often are a gradual process. That is the case for us as well. To begin with, I should confess that Ithaca, as pleasant as it and our home there is, is not home for Kim. Her home is Wabash, Indiana and while there are fewer and fewer people there to whom she has active connections, there are still some and I’m sure that what Ithaca is to me, Wabash is to her. So, this year, as we will be driving cross-country for our homecoming trip, we will use the drive to gather our memories where they lie. This starts in Las Vegas with a visit with sister Barb, who I have not seen for at least two years. Given our diasporadic lives, that is not so unusual considering our patterns over the years. We will then stop in Kansas City to spend the night with our friend Kate who is the daughter of Pete & Suzy of Wabash. Then, after a brief stop in St. Louis, where we pick up Gary & Oswaldo for the remainder of the trip, both going and coming back, we will, of course, stop in Wabash and will visit with Pete & Suzy and give Kim the opportunity to see how downtown Wabash is faring in its gradual demise, how the Honeywell Center, the cultural center of the community is holding up, and perhaps a quick drive by the old homestead. Then we will stop in Cleveland to once and for all visit the Rock n’ Roll Hall of Fame. And finally, we will arrive in Ithaca.
We will spend three weeks in Ithaca before heading back along a similar route. In the middle of that we will spend three days in NYC, where I lived for forty-four years and Kim lived for thirty-some years. That too will be a homecoming of a sort for us since we are so closely allied with that great City both based on our careers and social histories and because all three of my children still reside there and carry on their lives there. As we head back, our first stop will be in Rehoboth Beach, Delaware where son Roger and his wife Valene will be moving to shortly before we visit. We are stopping to christen their new home and wish them well. On our return home we will take a two-day detour from the slab to spend some time in southern Utah, a place I have held dear and consider my spiritual “cathedral” due to its natural beauty. Being able to share that with Gary & Oswaldo as well as Candice, who will join us for the return trip, is a form of homecoming for me as one of the great enthusiastic boosters of the state of Utah.
But homecoming is really all about family and friends and I need to say a few words about my family. I have never gone so long without physically seeing my children as I have since early 2020. As an absentee father with all three of my children, I made sure to see them and spend time with them every other week at least and to spend some part of each vacation with them somewhere. I took this obligation very seriously and came to find it the best of times for me. The memories of those times stand as the best of my memories without equal. There is certainly an advantage in having technology that gives us Zoom and FaceTime and that is a miracle, but nothing can replace the feeling of a hug, made all the more special by the social distancing we have all had to bear for more than a year now. All of my kids are vaccinated as are we, so they can each expect a good long, overdue hug from me to make up for what we have missed over the last fifteen months.
I get to start this process on Friday when my son, Thomas comes for a week visit. We will be cramming in a year’s worth of visit and hugs into that week. We will see my daughter Carolyn (and hubby John) and granddaughters (Charlotte and Evelyn) first for a few days in Brooklyn, where we wills stay during our brief visit. That will be followed by a week with them at Homeward Bound, a home that I am thrilled they consider their own and is a big part of their youthful memories already. Thomas will also join us for the Fourth of July weekend in Ithaca. Roger and Valene will join us for our time in Brooklyn and then once again when we visit Rehoboth Beach. It’s all a great big homecoming as far as I’m concerned and there is nothing more important to us than time with family and friends. If 2020 was the year of social distancing by necessity, 2021 will be the year of homecoming both inbound and outbound. We may never eliminate the harm done by this Pandemic. The pain of loss of all kinds, but mostly in social intimacy, can never be reclaimed. But we can do our damnedest to make sure we take full advantage of the power of vaccination and the gradual opening of our worlds.
Homecomings are about bands and parades and cook-outs. But the events of the past fifteen months have made homecomings much more personal than that. The homecoming I most look forward to all boils down to a long hard hug as a reminder that I am who I care about.