Fiction/Humor Memoir

The Guardians of the Galaxy

The Guardians of the Galaxy

We tend to throw around astronomical terms without necessarily knowing of them in detail. I’m not sure I have ever spent the time to understand the full scope of the firmament. The classic human conundrum that more or less defines the limits of our simple minds is to ask how far space extends and, for that matter, what is beyond that. The void is the default mechanism now as it has been for millennia when man reaches the limits of his comprehension. We know we live on the third planet from the sun in a solar system of eight planets, ever since Pluto got evicted from planethood. Actually, it is still a planet, except that it got demoted to Dwarf Planet status because it seems it has not properly cleared out other objects from its neighborhood of the solar system. There are four other Dwarf Planets in our solar system as well. There are estimated to be an average of ten planets in the average solar system. It is said that while there are billions of stars in our galaxy, the Milky Way, there are only 3,913 solar systems that have been identifies. While the Milky Way is what we call our galaxy, some say that the Milky Way is actually made up of as many as fifty separate galaxies. I presume that must be some sort of definitional issue amongst reigning astronomers. Then there is the issue of how many galaxies there are in the Universe. The astronomy academy has identified about 200 million galaxies (I wonder if they actually keep count and keep a list), but they are prepared to suggest that there are probably 2 trillion galaxies including those that they cannot see or have not seen yet. That’s a lot of galaxies and even more planets, something like 80 quadrillion, which is a somewhat unfathomable number for my pea brain.

What got me thinking about the cosmos tonight is that we went to a movie theater for the first time in quite a few months. You see, our usual movie co-conspirators are Jeff (Kim’s brother) & Lisa and due to Jeff’s maladies, he hasn’t been able to go to the movies comfortably for about a year. While his afflictions have not entirely left him, he is now making an effort to get out more and they asked us to join them to go see Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3. This is a campy Marvel series that has a bunch of galactic misfits, running around trying to overcome the forces of galactic evil. The fist installment of this series was in 2014, and this is the latest and, I suspect, last in the series. This is sort of Star Wars meets Avengers spoof where every member of the crew except Chris Pratt (Peter Quill) is some weird mutant that looks a bit odd (green-skinned Gamora, Nebula the Borg-look-alike, Rocket the brilliant yet feisty raccoon, Drax the big dude with red facial varicose veins, Groot the tree man with the voice of Vin Diesel and Mantis the slightly Asian-looking insect girl). I remember seeing the original film in the series and thinking it was funny and enjoyable. But the problem with blockbuster action movies is that you have to make the next one funnier, campier, weirder and with more action and therefore more CGI. “I am Groot” was a funny line in the original film and the Baby Groot in Vol. 2 was a cute version that didn’t fall far from the tree, but expanding Groot’s vocabulary in Vol. 3 sort of takes away the Grootness of it all. Sequels have their place, but they also show you why too much of a good thing is simply a bit too much. I slept through half the movie and still caught and fully understood the ending because all I had missed for that hour of slumber were more over-the-top goofy stunts than a viewer can really appreciate.

When I think about the classic movies like Gone With the Wind, Citizen Kane, the Shawshank Redemption, The Godfather (original and sequels), Lawrence of Arabia or Bridge Over the River Kwai, I think of great stories that get told through a visual medium. Movies like the Marvel blockbusters are less about storytelling and more about eye candy that tries to tickle your sensibilities with goofy visuals, pretty basic humor and tons of action to keep your heart racing through sheer optic nerve twitching. It’s not a very pleasant or rewarding experience to tell the truth other than perhaps the minutes you are sitting in the movie seat escaping from whatever ails you. If nothing is ailing you particularly, you probably do what both Kim and I did, which is to check out for large parts and catch up on your sleep. You may even leave the theater with a net positive impression, but I will bet this is not a movie that you will choose to watch over and over again unless it becomes like a Bugs Bunny cartoon to you and you watch it for sheer familiarity and, once again, to remove yourself from the reality of the moment. I know our sister-in-law Lisa loves these action films and that she, indeed, thought Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 was great. But to my prior point, she has been acting as extreme caregiver to Jeff for over a year and probably needs the relief that a goofy, action-packed film like this can provide. She deserves that and more, so we were happy to sit through the movie and spend our time remembering how unique and fun the original Guardians of the Galaxy was.

Now I am wondering about the underlying concept of this team of Guardians. Given the weird and extreme look of the array of main characters, you would think they come from the distant corners of the Universe, where life evolved in radically different directions as on Earth. But we also learn in this sequel that at least one of the Guardians, Rocket Raccoon, is the result of a series of experiments on various young animals, like raccoons. Rocket was the experimental anomaly that had the drive and mental faculties to become a prototype for successful genetic modification. But since that is the central evil that drives the antagonist in the movie, one must assume that the rest of the team, all of whom have their own weirdness and special skills, like Rocket, but not at all like Rocket, are the product of other-worldly evolution. So, why are the Guardians just focused on the Galaxy, presumably the Milky Way? Shouldn’t they be Guardians of all the galaxies or perhaps Guardians on the Universe? It feels pretty ethnocentric to be otherwise.

I think we all know the answer to this, the consonance of G in the Guardians of the Galaxy name is undoubtedly what drove the name and not much more. And why not? Of all the things one needs to suspend belief in these movies, I’m not sure the Galaxy/Universe distinction is the hardest to swallow. Let’s face it, a movie that ends with a raccoon taking over the full protection of the Galaxy is not a movie that is all about making sense. Well, at least the other 1.999 trillion galaxies in the Universe are still free to find their own security solutions.