Memoir

The Extended Self

The Extended Self

Today I read an interesting article in the Washington Post about people who have to evacuate their homes in an emergency. The theme plays into what seems to be a recurring theme these days, which is about materialism and its impact on our psyches. We start with a typical concentric circle approach to thinking about ourselves. When push comes to shove, like when we are very ill or in the hospital, there is only the corporeal self and that goes only as far as our epidural layer. That is all that matters in the moment because it defines whether we are here and alive or not. Pretty basic. I suppose some will argue the angels on the head of a pin and say that there is an even deeper self living solely in the life of the mind. That may be so for people who are paralyzed or have been forced to get accustomed to living only inside their own head. Do you remember that Robing Williams and Robert DeNiro movie Awakenings about a lifelong institutionalized man who had suffered from Encephalitis Lethargica (a form of Parkinsonism) and had been “awakened” by an experimental dose of L-Dopa? The description that haunts that movie was of a panther, whose “mighty will stands paralyzed” behind his pacing within the bars. So that may be the real inner self, but I think that is rare enough that we can establish the baseline as the confines of our body.

One of the thoughts about this corporeal self is that it may be the best reason I have ever heard for getting a tattoo (I have one on my left shoulder for my love of motorcycling). If we are ever left with nothing but our skin, we might at least have the last little bit of expressiveness and individuality that a tattoo could afford us. I like that thought. When I am in my final moments and I have said my good-byes as best I can, I will turn to my left shoulder and see my tattoo and I will think of the freedom that motorcycling represents to me. I will feel the wind in my hair and the sun on my face (much as I did today when I rode up to Mt. Palomar) and I will literally be transported to the best place I can imagine, that endless ride into eternity and I will imagine Kim riding pillion whether in reality or in my imagination. How’s that for a final moment and a rationalization for a whim that had me tattoo myself at age 46?

Speaking of Kim, beyond the corporeal self there is the first concentric circle beyond pure self and that is to those we love the most, which are presumably family and those friends that enjoy places of distinction in our lives. There may be some thought that needs to go into that selection process, but not much. There is no one to justify our concentric circles to but ourselves, so while none of us is beyond inner debate, I would suggest that we can each draw that circle as we wish and be as inclusive or exclusive as we wish, not to mention as changeable as we need to be based on the constantly shifting sands of circumstance and life experience. Who’s in and who’s out need matter only to us and can be as big or small as the size of our heart.

These first two levels were givens and not the subject of the article (I just felt the need to expound on them as they seemed meaningful). The real issue began as to what material things do we need to value and take with us when we are forced to go quickly. This has been a thought in man’s mind since antiquity. It used to be the trinkets in the Pharaohs tombs in the Pyramids at Giza, but in 1974 that was all eclipsed by the Terra-cotta Army in Xian of Qin Shi Huang, the first Emperor of China. I wonder if George Carlin, when he riffed about our “stuff” and the things we take with us on trips, bothered to think about how much stuff Qin Shi Huang took with him to the ever-after?

The topic arises due to Global Climate Change. That’s right, it may be hard to find a place you want to live these days because its like that old joke about whether you want death by fire, by water or by wind. People all over the place are suddenly being put in the position that only occasional and unfortunate victims of disaster faced. Now we are all faced with wildfire threat, seismic threat, flooding threat, hurricane threat, tornado threat and the newest one, derechos threat. The common element of all of these climate change-driven events is that we risk losing our homes and must inevitably flee with great dispatch. That means that except for the very few who are so OCD as to anticipate the event and plan for it, we are suddenly forced to consider what we will take with us when we can carry only a few things.

On a recent reunion call someone explained that he had so many pictures and memorabilia of high school because his mother had given him a box at a young age and told him that he could keep only what the box would hold as they moved over and over again in a life of international assignments. He had been trained to triage his possessions as he went and had learned to value things in ways that many of us simply ignore until it is too late. We have closets, basements and attics and now storage rooms galore (talk about a growth industry that seems to have no bounds) that allow us to NOT think about what matters to us in the realm of the physical and material. I have mentioned the concept of the Swedish death purge or döstädning where we are driven to cleanse ourselves as we age of all of our worldly goods so that when it is time to go, all we have to worry about are those damn tattoos.

The Climate Change emergency evacuation phenomenon, however, brings a new factor into the equation. There is apparently now the guilt factor of not being ready for tragedy to strike and thus being left taking a $2 coffee mug instead of Grandma’s portrait. This issue is real to us out here in Southern California as we monitor the Cal Fire Map each day to be sure there is no wildfire heading our way. But it needs to be on everyone’s agenda as we are reminded as we fly to New York tomorrow, and are hoping that it has sufficiently recovered from Hurricane Ida flooding. Last Christmas, we gave everyone Earthquake go-bags that are knapsacks filled with something like 3-4 days of emergency supplies to be used in case of a need for sudden evacuation. When we left home to drive cross-country I removed our bag from the car thinking we were headed out of the danger zone, but that was stupid…the danger exists everywhere now.

So, this morning I told Kim that I have decided in advance, thanks to this article, that if my moment of truth comes and I need to depart in whatever way fate delivers me my eviction notice, I ain’t taking anything with me. It can all go to hell. I will not define my extended self. In other words, I am prepared to lose anything and everything if it comes down to it rather than to go through the painful and silly exercise of choosing in advance. When the truck hits me I don’t even get to take my tattoo with me, so why should I agonize over this issue if the wildfire is coming up the canyon? Que Sera Sera, as the old Doris Day song says.