The Art of Peace
There are so many places one can take the subject of peace. It is perhaps one of the universal desires of mankind no matter what word is used to describe it, and yet it is certainly the most illusive of goals mankind has ever faced. I think it is fair to suggest that primordial man might know it when he saw it, but probably was not so presumptuous as to ever expect it as a state of being either for himself or for his people. Our advancement as a civilization has certainly changed all that to a degree. At least for the past century, we have had our eye on the prize of world peace even though I doubt many among us have been so naive as to truly expect that it’s achievable.
On the personal level, peace of mind and peace of heart can be equally illusive though not entirely unattainable. My heart has found peace with Kim to the greatest extent I can imagine. We are kindred spirits of a sort and I do not like being apart from her for any length of time, as I have been over the last week. It may seem trivial to some and perhaps even a bit soft of me. But I don’t look at it that way at all. There may be nothing I prize more in my life than my love for Kim. And as secure as I feel in that love, I remain somewhat lost without her presence…even for only a week. She is my best friend and partner in all things. That is why I can abide by her being away this week, despite the disruption to my peace. Her passion for singing and performing are such that I must accommodate them, pure and simple. I am not sure I am as passionate about anything to the extent she is for singing. The only two contenders in my life are motorcycling and writing, and of those, only the creative process of writing comes close to her singing. Motorcycling is nothing more than something that gives me pleasure, but writing inspires me by activating my mind and taking me places beyond the peace of the moment. The restlessness of my soul is assuaged by motorcycling, but it is set aside and healed by my writing.
By the way, you may wonder where my children and family fit into this peacefulness. Despite my dedication to them and the pleasure I get from being with them as often as possible, they figure greatly into my life, but less so into my sense of peace. I often joke with them that as they all start having children themselves, that they should not worry and that it will all be over in 50 or 60 years. That is my way of saying that to me, children are something to help and guide, but not necessarily to seek peace from. They are part and parcel of the wild breast, not something that soothes the wild breast. When people say that their children keep them young, they are saying that they are an ongoing challenge and effort to assist and prod onward. If you do your job extremely well, they fly off and create their own nuclear units and take on their own roles as parents, guardians and advisors. I have always felt that my primary goal as a father is to help my children to independence and to be able to live a life with perhaps a moment or two of fondness for me, but mostly not to have any burdens from me and to be free to devote themselves to their futures and descendants as I was able to. My kids don’t necessarily like my explanation of this, but I believe in the long run they will thank me for it.
Kim and I share equal amounts of dedication to my three children and their families. Given that Kim has no children of her own, my children have become her children and I rarely do things with them without her. She is more likely to be with them without me, but that is all by mutual understanding and agreement. Just this week she took them to the theater in New York without me, and that makes me very happy.
To me, retirement is about finding peace of all kinds. I want to sponsor peace in the world as much as I can, but I recognize I have limited ability to impact the geopolitical scene. Nevertheless, I find it more important than I have ever before in my life to keep an active and updated understanding of world affairs. Its surprising to me how much more engaged I am now than I ever was in my younger days. I grew up in an activist time, so it was not for lack of dynamics. But life was busy. Too busy. It is perhaps now more a function of the time I have to take notice of what is happening in the world as well as the fact that we seem to living in an era of extremes. It is hard to know for sure, but peace now seems more distant than ever. I am sure others would argue that its no different now than ever, but for me it is a bigger issue today than ever before in my life. As an optimist at heart, I want to believe we can find peace, but despair is never far from mind. So, I content myself with doing what I can globally and make sure that at the local level (meaning on this hilltop), I be sure to find peace at least in my small part of the world.
I think we can all agree that peace is mostly a state of mind. But it is more than that too. I would argue that having a calm spirit is the sine qua non for peace, but as people want to say, it is necessary, but perhaps not sufficient. There is something one must find that pours oil over the troubled waters of our soul. It is easier if you can factor out the money side of the equation, but money does not constitute that oil for most of us. I don’t even think money is a prerequisite beyond the basic hierarchy of fundamental needs. Love may be the answer for some, but I take my cue from Kim, the mistress of love herself. Kim is all about love and it guides her life more than anyone else I know. And yet, even Kim needs more than just love. For lack of a better word, i am going to say that she needs fulfillment, which she mostly gets from singing and performing and now perhaps helping other people perform. If that is her equation for peace, then it is not so very hard to understand that my peace comes from more than the love I am fortunate to have. It is said that we are all responsible for our own happiness, which must mean that we are all also responsible for our own peace.
My peace is gradually unfolding like a flower trying to bloom. There are many petals and every day I discover a new one. I have known about writing and the creative outlet it provides me, and that’s a lot of petals for me. But I have added to it the work I do in the garden, not because of what it does to enhance the property, but for what it does to brighten my soul and bring me closer to peace. I have discovered the artist in me that works in natural things and manmade things alike. When people comment about my projects I tend to give an offhand remark like, “It keeps me out of trouble.” or “It gives me something to do.” But those are simply easy and dismissive things to say when what I really feel is that it brings me the art of peace.