The Art of Leisure
I’m learning. Today is just another May Saturday. There is nothing special about it. I’ve done my May motorcycle ride. Memorial Day is a week away. I have a business trip to a conference in Rotterdam in two weeks, and then three weeks after that (six weeks from now) we have our annual family trip (this year to Ireland). That leaves seven more weeks of summer and the month of September before Kim and I go to Turkey for a two-week motorcycle trip. That is followed by ten weeks and then the year is over. Just like that.
I’m not trying to cross off the days of my life, but I’m one of those people who plans out ahead to be sure I have things for which to look forward. But now I have stopped planning out beyond the end of the year. This is not some tragic tale of woe. It’s about planning to move out to our retirement home in San Diego and leaving us the time to do this properly. We had planned a cruise down the Nile and visit to Petra in the first weeks of 2020, but that’s off now. There is talk of Mongolia later in the year, but I will wait to see what happens with that. My experience is that if I don’t push, it don’t happen.
The concept of leisure is not part of my natural thought process. This is not to say that I don’t waste time doing the things I like to do. It is not to say that all I do is work. But to comprehend, appreciate and excel at leisure, one must be able to enjoy doing nothing without worrying about what else one should be doing instead or in addition. One must be at peace.
I am looking for peace without knowing why I’m missing it. At least my lack of peace has been a generally positive force rather than negative. It has mostly manifested itself in work or writing. It may have something to do with my “need for speed” as Tom Cruise called it in Top Gun. That’s what I liked about skiing at Deer Valley and what I love about motorcycling. As I watch this show Breaking Hate about unmasking and saving young neo-Nazis from their white supremacist paths, I see people seeking peace through violence and hate and finding the opposite. I’m glad my lack of peace is more constructive than that.
But being a foot-giggler is still not what I want to be. I’m sure there is some form of therapy or meditation that would help. I am big at self-medicating for this sort of ailment. I find there is nothing debilitating about my condition, so finding my own path to peace seems just fine to me. Now I just have to crack that code.
I have made the “mistake” over the years of choosing not to take time off, say for six months or a year. I know many people who take a sabbatical in between jobs. I had a friend who took six months to hike round New Zealand. In fact, I never even took a month off intentionally. I don’t count being between jobs as taking time off since you are focused on finding work and that is a very busy job. I once even took down a very large payout that could have lasted me a lifetime if I had wanted, and I worked double-time as I transitioned to the next job. Such was my own itchiness to stay busy.
I want this to change. I want to be the guy who sits comfortably reading a book for the day (I “read” lots of books by listening to them while I’m doing something else like driving somewhere or even sitting in the hot tub). I want to be at peace cooking, cleaning or gardening (did I really just say that?). Those strike me as contemplative acts. The closest I come to that is driving places. I love a good road trip, mostly because I get to be moving and still spend most of the time in contemplation. It is different doing that on a long trip (highways) rather than local driving. I learned that the other day when my wife had to caution me several times during a local ride since being lost in my thoughts was not a good thing for staying attentive.
Now I am at another transition point. I feel a sense of obligation to the situation I’m leading right now, but I’m spending more of my spare thought time about finding my peace. I had a colleague who was a top accountant who was the accounting director of a Fortune 50 company. He finally stepped off the board and shared his philosophy with me. He said you could either completely stop what you have done and find something entirely new or you could scale back and just keep doing less and less of what you do until you stop. That made sense to me.
My work is leadership and management. I can’t do that less and less, I must go with option #1 and just do something different. I could be an advisor, but that’s something I do anyway and its not really work, per se, because there is no obligatory aspect to it. Also, I think I can say that I am in my third or fourth career, so I have changed it up quite a bit over the last twenty years. Banking has led to venture capital has led to more banking has led to teaching has led to venture building has led to part-time writing. That’s half my problem, I’ve gotten out ahead of changing it up earlier than many others do and now I must seek out what’s next…again.
I come up with new ideas all the time and run them by my wife. Some never last longer than a few days, but some take root. But there does come a time when you just want to say, “enough!” I’m sort of at that point now and am using the Social Security Administration as my crutch. They say I am fully retired at 66, so I plan to “retire” in February of next year after I get my first Social Security check. Obviously and fortunately, its not about the money, its about the symbolism that I have made it this far and have been gainfully employed all this time. That feels like an accomplishment of sorts, doesn’t it?
There I go again, being an achievement junkie. I need to go sit in the corner some more and wear my Leisure Dunce hat for a while, but I’m sure to have my ear-pods in listening to some book on Audible. My finishing radical thought is that my leisure may just be a variation that looks like what I’m doing eight now…writing. Man in repose and at the keyboard. That sounds like me.
Dear Rich,
The subject of what to do next and what actual retirement would bring seems to be a popular topic of yours. And cause of confusion. Not to be critical or morbid, but you also seem to see the age of 66 as being close to the finish line. I’m soon to be 68 and I’ve no idea when the big Kahuna has plans to take me. Like you, I don’t fear death, it’s just I can only hope and plan for it to be far into the future.
When Mary Jane and I were married we were only 22. We figured that we would be young and vital grandparents. Then our children’s generation up and changed the rules. They wait until almost 30 to get married !! What’s up with that ? Last year we put a new dock in that has a fifty year warranty and I tell people I plan on being here when that it is up just to make sure I got my money’s worth. On the other hand, my oldest son and your son-in-law tells me that by that time our residence will be underwater. I tell him that that won’t be my problem, it will be his. Those two stories are contradictory but I repeat them often. Perhaps it is my advanced old age that has depleted my list of stories or I am just too tired to come up with new ones.
I liked Malcom Forbes Sr. because he seemed to be active right up to the end. Like yourself, he enjoyed motorcycling though he came to it late in life. He still managed to collect a bunch of Harley Davidson bikes, founded a motorcycle club named ‘Capitalist Tools’ and even hand a big hand in getting the NJ legislature to change the law to allow motorcycles on the cars-only Garden State Parkway. You probably already knew that but it was just one of his many, many interests while keeping his hand in business too.
To my way of thinking, you are overthinking this. I envy you your many trips (business and personal) from your past and those you talk about in your future. This spring we spent enough for four very nice vacations feathering our nest (read as ‘total renovation, dust and all’). Don’t tell my wife because we had a budget that became laughable less than halfway through.
I’m trying to say that you have a busy life. Sometimes more, sometimes less. Homes and many friends on both sides of the US. You have two beautiful granddaughters on the east coast with more grandchildren to come, I’m sure. Enjoy your freedom and don’t seem to feel so encumbered to see you are free.
You already do meditation which is good. However one of Buddha’s main principals was that you own things but to never let them own you.
So, for what it’s worth, my opinion is to relax your thinking more because you are more than capable of accomplishing things without stressing. Take pleasure in enjoying your natural abilities with a more casual demeanor and don’t give a damn what others think if you seem to them to not be giving 100%. You always do even when you’re not trying.
Sincerely , One Persons Opinion
Good advice, but retirement is a big topic for me and will probably remain so. As for Malcolm, I’ve been to Bedminster and ridden his bikes in a few rides with Tim Forbes. I will keep on Truckin’ but also keep on writin’ about Truckin’