Fiction/Humor Memoir

The Aftermath

The Aftermath

We had 25 for Christmas dinner yesterday. We were supposed to be 29, but due to a touch of child illness, we were down 4 soldiers. Every one of those attendees is a member of our immediate family and their significant others. 7 have Kim’s blood. 8 have my blood. That means 10 are significant others of those 15. If we literally had all of my and Kim’s blood relatives and others, we could have been at 37, so being at 67.6% is pretty damn good in terms of attendance. The most important thing to us after this high attendance level was that Buddy handled the crowd like a champ. It wore him out to be sure, but ho one got bitten or even nipped, and he didn’t noticeably pee or poop in the house, so he got an A on his first family holiday.

The bonus for me this year is having son Tom and his relatively new wife, Jenna, with us for the week. Tom and Jenna are the current stars of the family since almost everyone was at their wedding on Labor Day weekend in the Hudson Valley. The generational aspect of family and especially the procreation and extension of family into the future is one of the central and most common themes of family life. Our 25 were compromised of 10 of 12 of my generation, 10 of 17 of the next generation and 4 of 8 of the third generation. I find that interesting statistically because it tells me that the generations drift further and further away based on lifestyle and locational choices. At least no one is choosing to absent themselves for relationship reasons from what I can tell. I’m sure that happens in some families and at times might have even happened in ours, but that’s not the case at this point for us.

Since we started early at about 3pm and had everyone bring some sort of exotic dish to pass, the amount of prep and clean-up was quite manageable. Everyone was on their way back home by 8pm and with Tom and Jenna’s help, Kim and I got the place back more or less in order in time to enjoy watching the end of The Longest Day movie before heading off to an early bedtime. From what I can tell so far, the only casualty was one of my driveway entry pots, which Kim managed to squash on one of her preparation sorties. The best part of these large mass gatherings is that every aspect of the property got used. That means that the kids enjoyed the games area, the Hobbit House and especially the climbing wall. The climbing wall was particularly used by niece Nichole’s three kids, Parker, Ethan and Jackson. This didn’t just involve climbing the wall and ringing the bell (notably without any belay ropes or harnesses), but also jumping from height onto the landing pad, which is actually an old high-jump landing pit from one of the schools sister Kathy renovated last year. I cut it to fit and placed it at the bottom of the climbing wall just to be sure the wall was as safe as possible. It never occurred to me that it would be a thrill sport element all on its own.

No worse for wear, the kids went on to use every game in the games area and while I have yet to check for damage down there, I imagine it all held up well. I don’t get too worried about household damage from a family gathering since I have this property with all these added elements specifically so the kids can enjoy themselves when they come. In other words, collateral damage is always part of the package and to be expected. The next key question will be when to take down the holiday decorations. It is too soon to do that now, but by next week at this time it will feel like an urgency least we fall into the bad habits of the neighbors that keep their lights up way past twelfth night. As I turned off the little twinkling white lights placed around the living room in five places, I note that I am using up 21 AA batteries on those alone. There are another thirty or so batteries deployed outdoors with the rest of the outdoor lights tied into the household grid either through the low-voltage landscape lighting system or the regular 110V lines. It’s all very manageable if not economical and if I do things right, all the light strings will get properly put away in a Christmas Decorations bin of some sort and stored for reemergence next year. As I like to say, we all have only so many Christmases and I want to make sure that we make the most of all of them.

One of the other aftermaths of the holidays is deciding what to do with all the detritus that results from the gift-giving. I’m sure some people are out already this morning returning this or that at their local department store, but that has never been one of my programs. I occasionally re-gift things. For instance, Kim gave me a skinny cactus tie and I immediately pointed out to her that not only do i rarely wear ties any more (who does?), but that I both have many more holiday ties than I can possibly ever use and a skinny tie does not go so well with this non-skinny physique. When I asked if anyone wanted the tie, my brother-in-law Bennett said he stills wears and them and could make use of it, so mission accomplished. Now there is the issue of the miscellaneous stocking stuffers I collected yesterday. They generally fall into two categories, edible and inedible.

The edibles are usually candy of some sort and the key issue is whether to keep them stashed in my office for personal consumption or out on the counter for everyone’s enjoyment. As for the non-edibles, this year they seem focused on my new truck. I have received a stand for my fast food sandwich as well as an attachment for holding my dipping sauce. These strike me as particularly useful accessories even though they sound a bit cheesy to those who don’t make a habit of lunching in their cars and trucks like I do. But for every useful gadget one gets, there are one or two others which fall into an interesting category of distant utility. This year’s prizes go to a pair of gloves with built-in lights, presumably to illuminate small detail work that one might do with one’s hands where lighting is not otherwise sufficient. Not sure how often that situation will arise. And then there is the specialized wristband that had a magnetic panel in it to hold miscellaneous screws or nails. I somehow sense that this item could be useful in the right circumstances, but since I am not really a hobbyist that is regularly putting little things together with screws and bolts, I will just keep that wristband in the garage and hope that when and if I do find myself needing to do such fine screw work that I will remember that I have it and remember where I put it. Chances are that it will never get used and that one day in the future I or someone else will be cleaning out the drawers in the garage and will run across this oddity and wonder what in the world would inspire someone to feel like they needed it. Of course, Christmas and need are very abstract things in our lives so let us just agree that its all part of of the aftermath.