Stream of Consciousness
One of the pros/cons of being a storyteller is that you occasionally stumble over some old prose you’ve filed away in a remote corner of your Dropbox. Such is this stream from several years ago.
Aug. 9th, 2017
My name is Richard A. Marin, but I go by Rich. I am a 40+ year financial professional, most of that spent on Wall Street, but more recently focused on real estate development. I’ve worked in the senior ranks of Wall Street management in a wide array of businesses for many years. My favorite introduction was from a former colleague who characterized me as “a wood sprite trapped in the body of a banker”. What I think he was saying was that I had more diverse and more whimsical interests than the stereotypical banker. Indeed, my interests range from motorcycling, teaching, skiing, writing and mostly storytelling.
I’ve been writing for twenty years and my favored medium is the short story. I have written hundreds that I keep in my files and use now to seed book ideas that interest me. One story was made into an HBO short movie segment staring Jerry Stiller. I’ve used many of the stories in my teaching at Cornell Johnson Graduate School of Management. In turn, I used those lectures to formulate into a book on the global pension crisis a few years ago. I love finding multiple uses for my writing.
I have always greatly admired my mother, who single-handedly raised me. She led a fascinating, adventurous and meaningful life that helped to change the world. When she died in February at the age of 100, I knew I had to tell her story. It only took me two months to produce Mater Gladiatrix, an indicator of all the deep thoughts I had about her and her journey. Her story has motivated me my whole life and I think it just might touch many people and inspire them to greatness.
Aug. 16th, 2017
Mater Gladiatrix is an impassioned story by a loving son about his accomplished single-parent mother. I chose to self-publish this even though I am a previously published author. I couldn’t imagine asking publishers to consider publishing a book about my mommy. But that was my hang-up. I truly believe her life and story is worthy of a broadly-read book. I am committed to getting her story broadcast as broadly as possible. This has everything to do with my pride about her life and accomplishments, but it is actually much more than that. Whether as an innate building block of my character or learned behavior from my years of traipsing around the world behind her, I believe my character has been forged in her image. I live my life with the carpe diem philosophy she espoused. I live my life with no holds barred and without fear. I believe in going for the gusto in all things.
I have been asked several times what I think my mother would think of the book or of my having written it. To begin with, I came of age in grade school while my mother was getting her Ph.D. at the University of Wisconsin. She was 45 years old with three kids, no husband and a $3,000 per year fellowship on which to live. To earn that fellowship she taught a course for incoming freshmen on how to study. Her attention to my writing assignments in grade school were daunting. She would mark up my essays over and over again, forcing me to gain increasing clarity of expression. The one thing she always allowed me was to express my sense of humor in my writing, since she herself enjoyed it and she knew me well enough to know it was who I was. So my mother would begin by correcting any and all typos and syntax errors she found in the book. But I think she would enjoy the humor, generally taken at the expense of my father, sisters or myself.
Aug. 23rd., 2017
I often say that everyone wants to retire to teaching, writing and/or serving on not-for-profit boards. I am proud to say that I have already done all three even though I am just moving into retirement. I have suggested that none of these three things are as pleasant and carefree as we all expect. They are all hard work. Writing in particular is hard work. It is a solitary activity and spending the day inside your own head is one of the scariest things you can do. But I always encourage people to write if they feel they have important and interesting things to tell the world. I am, by nature, a very enthusiastic person. It is a defining trait that may well have some neuro-chemical basis. One of the outcomes of my enthusiasm is that I somehow think everyone would want to hear what I have to say….because it’s so damn interesting. I’m self-aware enough to know when my stories interest or bore people. I know this because I am always telling stories when I am gathered with people of any sort. I am a practiced joke and story teller and I have honed my telling skills and timing to maximize positive reaction. Let’s not psychoanalyze why I need this public attention, but let’s just say that I know for a fact that I have a need to tell stories that appeal to and interest my audience.
I am asked where I find the time to write. I am asked the same thing about teaching once-a-week at Cornell and about my other activities. The simple and honest answer is that busy people always find time to do the things we need or want to do. Put another way, we all waste lots and lots of time each and every day, but if we choose, we can apply that time to the things we feel we must do. Therefore, by definition, if you have no time to do something, it means that you simply don’t care enough about doing it. I honestly believe that, but there is no shame in not wanting to do something. Motivation cannot be forced. It’s either there or it’s not. So find your muse and get the motivation and write when and how you can. I am writing this on my iPad while watching Lawrence O’Donnell on MSNBC.
Aug. 30th., 2017
As we enter the dog days of summer and now that the spectacle of the total solar eclipse is behind us, I always like to hop on my motorcycle and feel the breeze on my face. I have been riding motorcycles since I was fourteen. I lived in Rome, Italy then and my mother (Millie) allowed me to get a 50cc Lambretta scooter. After crashing it into hillside wall on my first day of riding, I settled down to learning how to ride safely in that crazy traffic of Rome. Whenever someone asks if I mind driving in New York City (or on Staten Island, specifically), I just say that I was weaned on the streets of Rome and that nothing bothers me.
Here on Staten Island I keep a Kawasaki Versys 1,000. It is a multi-road bike that has a high ground clearance and wide handlebars. While I rarely go off-road (unless you count the New York Wheel construction site), I find that this sort of multi-road bike works best on the potholes and uncertainties of City streets. People always seem to figure me for a Harley or an Indian (especially given that I live a quarter mile from dealerships for both), but I am very practical in my motorcycling. I ride what works best and the maneuverability and roughness of our roads here make a Harley or Indian impractical. I also like to have a bike that I can leave out in the weather and that’s tough enough to withstand anything. In many ways my motorcycling preference is like Staten Islanders, get the job done, no complaints, put up with anything, loyally rise to the challenge whenever needed.
I owe my favorite hobby of motorcycling to my mother, Millie. She was tough and adventurous and knew enough to let a young man explore himself and his world in a rugged way.
Sept. 6th, 2017
Another passion of mine is the movies. I grew up going to a local movie theater in Rome (the Pasquino in Trastevere). This was in the days when Italian TV consisted of two national stations that played news and sports only. So, an avowed storyteller needs stories and the movies were the best I had available. For the price of 500 Lire (80 cents in the day) the Pasquino changed billing every day and showed second-run American movies.
I carried this love of movies into my adult life and while I watch plenty of movies on television, one of my favorite nights out is to go to the movies. Unfortunately, Staten Island doesn’t have any theaters on the North Shore and only really one and a half movie theaters at all. Luckily, the surrounding boroughs have plenty of movie choices, so if the Staten Island 16-plex doesn’t have it, a quick drive into the City will solve the problem.
I like all kinds of movies, but my favorite for all time is Moonstruck. I think Cher is a wonderful actress, but the story and the setting in NYC is so very powerful. The character actors like Vincent Gardenia, Nicholas Cage, Danny Aiello and Olympia Dukakis can’t be beat. I love the ending line and theme…..”Alla Famiglia!”
Sept. 13th, 2017
I have lived on Staten Island for over two years. When my wife and I moved here, people assumed that we kept our condo in Manhattan, but we told them we were “All in” on Staten Island. Now both my sons live and work here in St. George, building out the Winter Wonderland SI attraction that will open in November. My daughter lives with her husband and two daughters in Brooklyn on the Columbia Waterfront. In other words, we are now locals by any definition.
People ask me all the time what it’s like to live on Staten Island. My joke is that to be on the “A” list in Manhattan you must have $5 billion, but to be on the “A” list on Staten Island all you must do is build a 630-foot observation wheel. My wife and I have been New Yorkers for a long time, but we have never belonged to a local community. We now belong to the Staten Island community and could not be happier about it.
Kim is on the board of the St. George Theater and since she is a cabaret singer, that’s a perfect fit for her. She has sung there and at the National Lighthouse Museum on several occasions. She is regularly asked to sing the National Anthem at the ballfield, but she hates singing that song (she says it is musically challenging) so she hasn’t yet done that.
I am on the boards of the SIEDC and the CSI Foundation. I am inspired by the good work that both do. The SIEDC tirelessly advances the cause of economic development on Staten Island and CSI is an amazing institution that does such a great job of shifting people up the socioeconomic spectrum. We need more of what both have to offer in the world and Staten Island is lucky to have them.
My wife and I often say that we are blessed to have discovered Staten Island and we look forward to enjoying it for years to come.
Sept. 20th, 2017
My wife Kim and I love to travel. My years of getting dragged around the world by my mother, Millie, started this trend. In my youth I lived in Venezuela, Los Angeles, Upstate New York, Wisconsin, Maine, Costa Rica, Rome and all around New York City. We also traveled all over as Millie did her great work. As an adult, my work took me to almost every corner of the earth from Latin America, Europe, Asia, Australia, the Middle East, Africa and Eastern Europe. The only continent I’ve not seen is Antarctica.
As much as we love Staten Island, we also love to travel throughout the year. So far this year we have spent time in the Utah Canyons, in the Normandy Region of France, are just back from Iceland and the Baltics (Sweden, Finland, Russia, Eastonia, Poland, Germany, Denmark and Norway), and are planning a trip later in the year to Istanbul and Greece (a motorcycle ride through the Peloponnesos and Corfu). We work hard to keep our travel agenda full.
Millie would be proud that her son has grown into a world traveler, just like her. I’m not sure I have the streak for adventure that she had, but I try to make up for on my motorcycle.
What’s on tap for next year? I have a ride through Copper Canyon in Mexico. And then Kim and I are going with our neighbors Gary Reichard and Oswaldo Pena up to Alaska to sail the inner passage and see the glaciers. And that’s just for starters…
Sept. 27th, 2017
For many years I was an avid Nordic skier. I learned in Maine and honed my skills in Switzerland. For fifteen years I owned a ski house in Utah. I’ve skied all over Europe, Canada (East and West), Chile, and both New England and the Western U.S. (Mostly Utah, but also Colorado, California and New Mexico). In 2007 in the face of a major career crisis, I gave up skiing. It was easy to do since my wife Kim is not a skier.
I am occasionally asked if I miss skiing, and I must say that I don’t. When I hear of a motorcycle buddy who gives up riding, I am shocked and saddened. How could they give up a passion? It as all caused me to ponder how we carry forward or give up our passions.
What I care about at my core are my family, my Alma Mater (Cornell), global development, storytelling, motorcycles, my community and fairness and justice for all people. The older I get the more refined this list becomes. I saw Millie stay passionate about those things age cared about most.
It doesn’t matter what you are passionate about, but I do believe that pursuing your passions with ……………passion, is important. As we all move toward retirement, a subject woven into most of my writing, I think it’s important to think about this wonderful stage of life as being perhaps less structured, but hopefully no less passionate, productive and meaningful. Start by learning what you are most passionate about. Then find a way that suits you to pursue them and have at it.
Oct. 4th, 2017
I have just returned from our Baltics extravaganza. It was a Viking cruise that started in Reykjavik, Iceland went to Stockholm, Helsinki, St. Petersburg, Tallinn Estonia, Gdansk, Berlin, Denmark and Norway. What an array of interesting places we visited. In classic form, I feel like I need a vacation to recover from my vacation. Every day but one consisted of going on shore excursions with local guides, so the amount of cultural enrichment was verging on the excessive.
The biggest single and most obvious theme of the trip was learning about the Vikings. The most interesting thing I learned was that because they really didn’t have a good written language, while history is usually written by the victors, the Viking history gets told by the vanquished (mostly British), so they get characterized as brutal war-mongers. While not completely unjustified (they were fearsome warriors who did lots of pillaging), this reputation represented less than 5% of the Viking population. The majority were settler/farmers. We learned lots about their rural existence and ways. The swashbuckling aspect of Vikings relates mostly to their travels, which were impressive on several levels.
Their ship technology alone was a game-changer allowing crossing such expanses as the North Atlantic in relatively small boats. The most impressive element was the distances they traversed. From deep into North America to well into Mongolia and China, these adventurous people were the original world travelers. Their tales, had they bothered to write them, would certainly have eclipsed the Tales of Marco Polo.
There is something romantically appealing about living life for its own sake, not for the glory or recording of it. But then, had I been a Viking, I would certainly have found a way to memorialize it.
Oct. 11th, 2017
I have started something new this week. I have never taken a writing course and as I am writing more and more I have taken the unnatural (for me) step of signing up for an online creative writing course. The learning approach and experience is new and the topic is a first for me. If that step isn’t a Millie Moment, I don’t know what is! She went back to graduate school at forty-six with three kids in tow. At sixty-three I can surely handle a six-week asynchronous creative writing course.
It’s a six-week course with writing homework due each week and a bulletin board where the fifteen students and one teacher exchange thoughts and ideas about writing. The other students range in age (one just out of High school up to….me). They range in locale and are as far flung as London, Germany, Oman, Texas and Illinois. It’s a great little community already in just the first week.
The first lesson was about OIL (Observation, Imagination and Language). We have all sat in an airport or on a park bench and observed people coming and going. I’ll go out on a limb and suggest that we’ve also all imagined what their stories are and amazed that there really are endless stories in the “naked city.” But few of us choose or bother to put those stories to paper. That is a shame. Every time I see a movie sequel or a revival play I wonder why the world cannot produce and enjoy new stories rather than replay old stories. So, if you walk by me in the airport or the park, don’t be surprised if I unmask you with my imagination and memorialize you in a story. They are not all dark and stormy nights…
October 18th, 2017
It’s the changing of the seasons and I venture to guess it’s the most popular one…Autumn. Summer is easy to like. Winter is easy to dislike. Spring is intimidating with all the rebirth and cleaning-up. But Fall is pleasant, mild, brisk and soulful. I learned to love Fall by spending three years living in Maine. Good old Millie used to drag us around New England for the Fall Foliage or, as we called them, the Leaf Peeping Tours.
When you live in the City, as most of us do these days of the urbanization of the world, we must plan to notice the changing seasons. Of course, you should time your plans carefully because there is a fine line between the uplifting experience of a dazzling Fall day and misery of a soggy and grey day with leaves stuck to your shoes. There are maps online that show the changing foliage development over the eight weeks of Fall. You can track your conquest of the vistas accordingly.
I’ve spent a lot of my life in the northeastern United States, so I feel I know the territory well by now. I’ve certainly seen every color a tree or bush can turn into in nature. Yet, it never ceases to amaze and inspire me to drive through or look out over the splashes of color on the hillsides and wonder at the power and awe of nature.
Do you remember that final scene in the movie The Last of the Mohicans when Chingachgook looks out over the rolling autumnal hills of Upstate New York (filmed in the Blue Ridge) and talks about the end of life and the end of his people? There are few more moving movie moments. Fall leaves are profound. Get out and enjoy then while you can.
October 25th, 2017
We are back from a road trip to Wabash, Indiana, my wife Kim’s home town. Home towns are wonderful reminders of who we are, whether they are ours or not. Kim was honored as a distinguished alumna of her high school and we went out for the ceremony. We chose to drive instead of fly because it is a nice change of pace to do so and harkens me back to my family road trips across Indiana and Ohio when Millie was at the wheel. I chuckle when I remember her trying to drive and swat us three kids for horsing around in the car and generally driving her crazy.
No kids or dogs in the car this time, but lots and lots of memories and not an inconsequential amount of self-doubt. Kim is a highly accomplished and talented singer. She sings cabaret, has sung much musical theater and even sang at a Cole Porter (a fellow Indiana native) revival in Carnegie Hall last year. Kim has gone above and beyond to be of service to her home town by going back every year to sing and/or direct several different community theater musical productions (Wait ‘til You Get to Wabash and Light Up the Town). When she was told of her high school’s selection of her for this award, her first, and so far, only, reaction is that she is not worthy.
I understand the importance and value of humility. I certainly have learned how humbling it is to be a performer who puts themselves out there for all to see and approve…or not. Getting an award for non-specific achievement has the added burden of causing any of us to wonder whether we really did that much of value. We would all tend to question whether we deserved praise for under-performing against whatever goals we had set for ourselves. And that is all horseshit.
Be happy with yourself. Revel in the wonder of it all. You are not only worthy, you are so worthy that you will smile and carry on. That’s what Millie always did.
November 1st, 2017
At the moment, I am in Greece riding a motorcycle through the Pass at Thermopylae and stopping at the Delphic Oracle. I can use all the stoic strength to persevere and help prognosticating the future that I can get. I expect it will all be very inspiring.
There are so many euphemisms about the challenges of life because challenges are what life is all about. We are not only required to face challenges in life, we are compelled to embrace them, to enjoy them and perhaps even to seek them out. To most appropriately paraphrase Socrates, the unchallenged life is not worth living.
I always seem to have a fresh supply of challenges set before me on my table. I find talking about them with a lilt of humor is always helpful. But mostly, I find getting up early and attacking them as systematically as possible is the best salvation. Just banging my sword against the beast makes me feel better, even if I can’t dent it. And sometimes I even find that Achilles heel and make a difference.
The point is as simple as the lessons Millie taught me over her life; just keep your head down and keep flailing and when you look up you’ll be amazed what you have accomplished. Do not worry too much and do not overthink outcomes. Live in the moment with an eye on your horizon. What a truly great and noble way to live.