So Long, Farewell
This morning was our collective get-away moment, so naturally, there was one last opportunity for fun during breakfast at the Lodge at Red River Ranch. Whenever you get a large multi-generational group together for a few days of fun, there are bound to be a range of personal circadian habits on display. The group is made up of early birds and night owls. The night owls tend to be the ones that are also most fond of their preferred variety of alcohol. I will note that in the two large 5-foot coolers that started out filled with a combination of wine, beer, soda and water, after a few days was almost completely filled with alcohol of one type or another. Since I bought many cases of soda, I am assuming that was all consumed, but there was a multiple of beer and wine both in the cooler and ready to fill into the cooler as needed. By the last few nights, the pace of consumption by those so inclined was pretty brisk. I never made it past 11:15pm in the Great Room or out on the porch. Kim hung with the late night crowd a bit more and rolled into the room (perfectly sober, I think) by 1:30am a few times. But we learned that there were some denizens of the night that went on much longer.
Last nights of any vacation are interesting times. Usually its all about the pain of knowing that its back to work and the real world. Add that to the fact that we have a disproportionate number of larger participants with big, booming voices which carry well throughout an open floor plan lodge and you have a recipe for some interesting and humorous moments. The extra special sauce is having spent five days with a bunch of people who you are closely to loosely related, and new members (mostly through marriage or whatever passes for such these days) as well as folks you just don’t spend a lot of intensive time with one another every day. That all generates some interesting stories, impersonations and well-constructed jokes and shreks at the expense of pretty much everyone to some degree. There is fertile ground for these stories given that this trip has involved doing unusual things like walking with llamas, driving road vehicles off-road, driving off-road vehicles on the road (illegally, I presume), and lots of goofy games with silly costumes. Most of these stories come out on a morning-after basis at the breakfast table. They often start as third party stories and then when one of the participants finally arises and makes it to breakfast, the story takes a decided bent conforming to that person’s thinking. Of course, when the parties being satirized finally make it to the breakfast room, there are counter-claims and all sorts of revisionist versions of the humorous incident. There might even be a few flashes of assertiveness, but it never seems worthy of true anger or upset, so generally the system serves to create lots of good humor in all directions.
As things were getting a bit loud one of the evenings, Kim, being the most responsible adult in attendance, started to shush the loudest of the late night gang. Invariably, that involved her chastising nephew Will, certainly one of biggest and loudest among us, but always of good humor. Will is not a nasty drinker, but rather a funny and jovial drinker. I am told that Will may or may not have been the loudest or most disruptive present, but he kept getting tagged as such by Kim. Finally, niece Stephanie (not technically related to Will) called foul on Kim and said that Will was not the only loud person and perhaps not even the loudest. It seems that Ashley, Will’s wife was in contention for the title and Stephanie reminded Kim that Will had long since gone to bed. Ashley was recorded singing several stanzas of So Long, Farewell at the top of her lungs. That Oscar Hammerstein ditty was part of The Sound of Music in 1965 and became well known all around the country. I’m inclined to believe it is perhaps less appropriate in the middle of the night when people are trying to sleep, but then, I wasn’t there to hear it.
Kim, being the epitome of “not just a hat rack”, took the opportunity to yell at the top of her lungs up to the upper reaches of the lodge open staircase that Will needed to be quieter and get his wife to be quieter while he was at it. Needless to say, since Will had toddled off to bed hours earlier, her admonition was intended as just another in a long series of intentionally humorous and ironic content. I’m sure that these efforts for greater quiet were not only to keep the decibel level lower, but also because the content being spewed by the late night crowd was most likely sordid stories and off-color jokes about all of us who were on the early-to-bed program. I am told that it was all in good fun and I believe that to be mostly true, but I have also learned at my own expense that humor isn’t always seen in the same light by all people. I can never quite figure out where the line should be drawn between laughing with versus laughing at, do I try, and often fail, at being cautious around directed humor, especially with extended family members and at large gatherings. In fact, the circumstances of these sort of gatherings, well greased with alcohol, seem designed and destined to create exactly this sort of balancing point transgression. Go figure.
Moving to breakfast, only one group of three (Roger & Valene and Tom) had to head out before breakfast, so everyone was present for the final farewells to one extent or another. Many of those present would see each other again soon in more or less seven weeks at Tom’s wedding in the Hudson Valley. But only some would either make the long trip or were able to be invited to do so, so some said goodbye with and earnest mutuality to intent to be sure to see one another some other time in the future. Strangely enough, the odds of those intentions being fulfilled were probably less with both the older and younger of the participants, leaving it to the young adult cohort to carry the flame of family and gathering forward. That is ultimately the reality of all gatherings, whether family or alumni or simply old friend gangs. Someone has to take up the mantle of responsibility to push for and organize these gatherings.
Having generally been one such organizer, it is amazing to me that anyone chooses to take on this challenge. Thankless is the best word for such an endeavor. People are usually disappointed with one aspect or another of a function that almost cannot satisfy all of the people all of the time. But Kim and I have a very different view of these often frustrating tasks. We get so much pleasure out of seeing the older members and our peer groups have opportunities to share memories and get current with one another. We recognize that we will all sooner or later involuntarily attend our last of these gatherings and we want to be sure we all have that last chance whenever it should come. We all love seeing the youngest generation, who for us are mostly under 10 years old, run around like a pack getting to know one another and experiencing the joys of cousinhood as we all had that opportunity. It also occurred to us that children these days rarely get to run around unsupervised in a safe environment as we had at the ranch (not counting the Buffalo escape factor). But the most valuable aspect to me is the ability of the middle generation to reconnect with one another and forge bonds that will cause one or more of them to take up the flame of family and keep that light alive for all as we of the older group exit the scene. That alone absolves any late night loudness for the sake of camaraderie. In closing, I suggest that it is so long, farewell, and we’ll keep the light on for you (thank you, Tom Bodet).