Silver Alert
Yesterday was a day for acting like I was finally retired. Granted it’s August and lots of people are away enjoying themselves, but I am here in San Diego and it was Monday (the proverbial start of the work week). All our siblings are either off to work or off to home. Lazing about the house has a certain charm to it, but there were a few errands to take care of, so I hopped on my Kawasaki 1000 Versys versus taking the car to go to the car dealership. That sentenced sounded contrived, so I just checked it and it was correct. Why not ride the bike to the car place? The purpose of the dealership visit was to pre-arrange my automotive situation for our next visit. That will come in late December when we drive the dog out here for his final cross-country jaunt. That will also be the final crossing for the 2017 GLS 450 since the lease expires in April and I will be right on the mileage button for the lease. The idea was to trade in our faithful 2010 GL 450 and arrange a lease swap-out, which Mercedes Benz has been dangling before my eyes (as they always do at this stage of the lease cycle). That would all be a big money-saver overall, but I had no idea how that would all happen.
Here’s the unsurprising thing, the dealership sales staff was prepared to consider any and all arrangements. That’s a tough business with direct internet sales heating up and everyone having perfect knowledge of everything to drive the hardest bargain. I always figure I am a perfect sucker for car dealership guys since I hate to haggle and I pretty much know what I want and am not much of a shopper. I like to think of myself as smart, but fair. I’m sure they have different words for me, probably more like unaware and gullible.
I started by declaring that I knew that the 2010 was worth $8-10k. They nodded feigned respect. I insisted on a 48 month versus 36 month lease. They said no problem (more on that in a moment). I said I only had Monday and Tuesday and then I was not back until December. They said you can drive out in the new car this afternoon. I said I wanted a white GLS 450. They said they had a dozen with different package configurations. Did I want a 2019 or a 2020? They show me the new interior of the 2020 with the newest wider screen configuration and then remind me that the more familiar 2019 configuration (with which I am fully familiar from my 2017) is very popular and this new interior seems a bit frivolous and will add $5-6k to the price tag. In other words, they were selling out 2019 vehicles, while making sure they didn’t risk losing a dedicated 2020 buyer. They said I was clearly a value buyer and would probably be happier with the 2019 deal. They had listened well. Either I was on top of my game or they were on top of their game and way ahead of me. I suspect the latter.
They know their clients at Mercedes, so they have golf carts to drive clients around their extensive new car lots. Very smart. We cruise past many, many GLS’s (all 2019 with the only 2020’s in the showroom). The color choice in Southern California seems to exclude the very dark colors and favor the white and silver. There are a few bright blue and red, but very few black (the fading color of East Coast urban existence). Someone in the sales department has decided that the most popular interior this year is going to be a saddle leather with matching contrast stitching on the dash. This is as opposed to the flesh-searing black and the synthetic beige (which is what we prefer). I guess real leather seating is a big item out here. What is strangely not a big item and which we have in our current seats, is ventilated cooling. The salesman Pooh-Pooh’s it by saying it really doesn’t work anyway. It goes the way of the massaging front seats we now have and consider a total joke. We settle on a Pearl White and an Iridium Silver model. Kim and I have discussed keeping out California vehicular fleet all white, so I am leaning in that direction. I’ve always loved silver, but white is good in the hot sun and has a matchy-match with our white AFMC motorcycle trailer.
We go back to the showroom and things get serious with the sales manager being brought in for the kill. He will take my 2010 no problem and give me $9k (setts the fairness tone). He will pay off my 2017 lease and take the car back anytime between now and April as I wish, thereby making the December drive AOK (I do wonder what would happen if I run up the mileage by an added 5,000 miles by going to see the world’s biggest ball of twine on my road trip, but he is unconcerned…even 5,000 @ $0.25 is trivial in this deal). I will drive out of there today with my new 2019 leased for 48 months, which will sit unused in my garage for the four months until I get out here again in December. The total cost, as always, is spot on what I am paying for my existing lease. Why would they want to underbid that? My trade-in equals my down payment and lease buyout cost combined. I could do the math on all of this, but it will take me too long for $20 per month in difference. I will just rent one less movie per month instead. Mercedes counts on this sort of attitude.
But then I get told my lease is for 10,000 miles per year and I go wild. I won’t put up with that. It must be 12,000 (the difference is another $20/month, so there goes another movie rental). They concede. Sun Tzu would have been proud. Always leave your opponent thinking he got the better of you, or something like that.
Just then, one of the showroom sales guys says, “Oh my God, I just got a Silver Alert!” It was the first he had ever gotten and so he is quite amazed. I figure he’s playing the commodities market until it is explained to me that a Silver Alert is like an Amber Alert except that its when some old codger wanders off in an Alzheimer’s senility haze and they want to alert the world that they need to be aware of old guys wandering around doing crazy things, so they can return him to the safety of his home and TV movie rental list. I suddenly realize that I always get Amber Alerts and Flash Flood warnings on my iPhone, so why was I not getting this Silver Alert? Had I not signed up for Silver Alerts?
Just then I glance over at the gaggle of salesmen and see the sales manager, with the pen he wanted me to sign the lease with in hand. He was quietly talking to the other salesmen. What I thought I heard whispered was something akin to “Ixnay on the ilversay lertasay.” I suddenly wondered, did Amber Alerts get sent to the young Miss Amber’s iPhone or is Apple too smart for that? We headed out to Walmart in our new Cardinal Red 2019 GLS 450 (don’t ask) to see if I could cause an alert for a clean up in Aisle Six as my next act of pre-retirement fun.