Planes, Trains, Ships and Automobiles

Planes, Trains, Ships and Automobiles

John Candy was one of my favorites. I can rarely pass up a John Candy movie, but my all time favorite is that Thanksgiving classic, Planes, Trains and Automobiles. So when my lovely wife got all wierded out by the ASPCA commercial (she absolutely cannot watch them), I had to randomly flip the channel and it landed on PT&A, which was just starting.

I’m writing this for two reasons. The first is to analyze why I like John Candy so much. And the second is to discuss traveling the world to see the world, via various modes of transport.

The reason I favor John Candy is that I tend to resemble John Candy and I can relate. He isn’t the cold-hearted cynic that Steve Martin plays in the movie. He’s the guy who leaves the beer on the vibrating bed and is surprised when it explodes leaving a puddle of beer for Steve Martin to sleep in. He’s the guy who sells plastic shower curtain rings. His name is Del Griffith and he wanders the earth without a home and a Seattle Big Man’s credit card. Some may find that tragic, but I consider it romantic and sympathetic. It’s always easier for the Steve Martins of the world than it is for the John Candys. The John Candys have to be nicer and less demanding. They need to accept their lot and soldier on. I feel like that has been the sum total of my life story. Some will argue with that description, but I would say walk a mile in my shoes with a 350 pound pack on your back and then let’s talk.

Del is a man of the people. Steve Martin is a self-righteous perfectionist who is well-heeled and generally intolerant of those less perfect than him. Del travels with a steamer trunk covered in stickers and wears sweater-vests that look like they came from a thrift shop. Steve Martin has plenty and Del has nothing. And yet Steve wants more and Del wants to be your friend. Del is a man to be admired and Steve is the guy to be pitied and given some slack to improve himself. Del is really the perfect one of the duo.

They begin on a flight from New York to Chicago that lands in Witchita. From there they ride in a beater cab, rent a car that burns up, ride a train that breaks down, take the bus (singing about The Flintstone’s as they go) and finally make home in the trailer of a truck. Their travels are epic in the people they encounter and the travails they endure. Why would anyone want to travel the earth just to travel? The travails might vary, but there are sure to be bumps on that road. But this movie tells of the texture of life as told through the people one meets along the road.

I am not certain why, but I believe texture may be one of the most important things in life. In the same way that struggle is what makes life great and diversity is what is most worthwhile in relationships, I think texture may be what the ride is all about. Think about what we learn from nature. The easiest path is invariably the riskiest path. Inbreeding is inherently bad and leads to weaknesses of untold dimensions. Inbreeding does not just refer to child-bearing. It extends to what we do and where we go. Farm a field with the same “comfortable” crop for too long and see what happens to the field and the quality of the crop. Walk the same path and see the muddied rut you have created.

We are meant to go beyond our normal limits. That refers to the people we bring into our lives, the places that we go and the kinds of things that we do. Comfort is a wonderful thing, but too much comfort leads quickly to stagnancy. I want more Del Griffiths in my life (and a few Steve Martins as well). As a storyteller, I want to be able to tell about the time I had to drive the burned out rental car with a melted speedometer and the radio that worked perfectly fine. I want to go to Witchita and maybe even stay at the Braverwood Inn.

I enjoy flying here and there, but let’s face it, today’s airports are more plebeian than even the bus stations of yesteryear. In many ways, train travel feels the most exotic and fashionable. Except in China where the mega-train stations are more like airports, located outside the cities, train stations are conveniently located downtown and one has a short walk to one’s train car. Airports today require training for power-walking since the planes are miles from the main terminal counters. Automobiles are certainly convenient in getting exactly from here to there, but that assumes one doesn’t encounter a parking problem. Note that New York is instituting a stiff fee for driving in the city center. This trend is bound to catch on.

By ships I am referring to cruise and ocean liners (I will include longboats on river cruises). These are both a comfortable and convenient way to travel and see the world. The good news is that you get to know all the ports. The bad news is that this may or may not be the best part of wherever you’re visiting. Generally, ships are limited by the geography or waterways like trains are limited by the rails that have been laid. By those terms, only cars can really compete for travel flexibility.

I am currently enamored with the idea of buying a Mercedes Sprinter van, fitting it out for comfortable travel (kitchenette, sofa, storage, convertible bed, etc.). I have no need for a camper or a crapper. Dealing with either, other than for an outright emergency, seems more trouble than it’s worth. I like the idea of taking our comfort with us and yet having the freedom and flexibility to go wherever we want and get as close as we can. I feel we will find more diversity, meet more interesting people, and go to more places with that formula.

Don’t get me wrong, I may want an occasional cruise or luxury train trip. I will certainly fly some places far away. But ultimately, I think I will be happier and more like Del Griffith if I get my Sprinter and take off for the sun.