Pink Stuff

in the last few years when we’ve traveled overseas, we’ve gone with our neighbors, Mike and Melisa. We went to Egypt and Jordan with him and we went to Southeast Asia with him early next year. We will go to the far southern reaches of South America with them (this time on a cruise). The common thread of our travel adventures has been that we have gone to reasonably exotic places with the exception of a stopover in Rome and Singapore. The rest of the spots are generally considered by Americans to be places where there is some biological risk associated with either eating the food or drinking the water. In other words, the risk of gastrointestinal distress tends to be rather high in these places. I pride myself as well traveled person, and a man of the world. I am no less prone to digestive tract problems when I eat and drink in strange new places. I would never characterize myself as having a cast-iron stomach, even at home. I’ve noticed myself being more and more sensitive to spicy food and they do indeed have a number of foods, including raw tomatoes and onions as well as avocados that are on my personal no fly list. Whenever a digestive issue has come up during those drips, Melissa has been quick to offer up Pepto-Bismol tablets. I have unambiguously declined their use and have instead opted to just temporarily modify my diet and allow things to work their way through my system. I know I have a slow moving system compared to many, but that was still my preferred route. While I was appreciative of Melisa‘s offer, I secretly felt the Pepto-Bismol was a very old-fashioned remedy not unlike Done’s pills for backache or cod, liver oil. I have visions of drunks pouring vodka into glasses of liquid Pepto-Bismol and making homemade hangover recipes. Pepto-Bismol just wasn’t for me.

In the last few days I have suffered from what I would call mild stomach distress. I thought I had seen the last of that syndrome once I started drinking AG-1 every morning. Indeed, the biggest benefit of this daily green drink with the pre-pro and post biotics that it offered. I absolutely felt that it was regulating my system in a very positive way. Well, I haven’t stopped drinking AG-1 every morning, but it has apparently stopped being the panacea to my digestive system that I thought it was. Yesterday, things took a turn for the worse. Directly following a breakfast of Cheerios and then later a lunch of a small portion of Caesar salad with grilled chicken, I was driven to what I can only call a gastric spasm likes of which was entirely unpleasant. My afternoon episode rung me out like a washrag and drove me to want to lie on my bed with a case of the mild shakes. I don’t get sick very often but when I do, I’m a pretty lousy patient. Kim brought me some juice with a straw, and I turned on MSNBC to catch up on the world affairs. I’m not sure either the juice nor MSNBC helped me feel much better.

One of the medication’s that I take every morning to control my blood pressure is Furosimide, which is a pretty strong diuretic. I used to take 40 mg a day but then told my doctor I couldn’t stand it and I needed to cut back to 20 mg today. I remember 15 years ago hearing from my stepfather Irving who was in his 90s and 6 foot four weigh about 250 pounds, that he hated taking his prescribed diuretic. At the time seeing the Adema in his ankles, I told him that he really did need to take the diuretic, but he mostly refused on the grounds that he just didn’t like the way it made him feel. I thought he was being too stubborn, now that I am the one with swollen ankles and a diuretic prescription. I completely understand his position. I don’t like the way this diuretic makes me feel either. For the first half of any day after I’ve taken the diuretic I am overwhelmed by sensation of needing to evacuate my body of any and everything, that is in the system. It’s not like Furosemide is highly discriminatory in what it addresses. It’s doesn’t just speak to the urinary tract, but rather shakes up everything in your midsection. If I am traveling through airports or know that I have long deposition session, I purposely avoid taking the diuretic on those days and I subsequently feel much better and more in control.

So when I get a case of gastritis or whatever the hell has been afflicting me the last day or two between the illness and the diuretic I don’t know whether I’m coming or going (pun intended). Yesterday afternoon as I lay on my bed, I suddenly thought to myself. Maybe I should try some Pepto-Bismol. I asked him if she had some insurance. She had a bottle of chewable tablets. Strangely, the bottle did not have anything about dosage so I looked it up on the Internet. I was surprised to see that they said to chew two tablets and repeat every half hour to one hour up to eight tablets in a day until the discomfort subsided. This didn’t seem like the normal dosage prescription, but I popped two of the tablets in my mouth and began chewing. They actually tasted quite good and we’re a lot like chewing on pink Mentos. After about an hour, I’ve just lying there watching TV and sipping juice from a straw. I self diagnosed and decided to pop two more in my mouth. They went down just as easily and I almost felt like I was sneaking some candy one more time in another hour and a half or so, and I started to feel better. That caused me to read a little bit more on the Internet about Pepto-Bismol.

The active ingredient in Pepto-Bismol is Bismuth subsalicylate. It was first discovered to be a cure for nausea heartburn and diarrhea back in 1900. Procter & Gamble sells about $115 million worth of the stuff every year. It occupies a place in our modern medicine cabinets much like aspirin or Tylenol or perhaps plain old Band-Aids. But here’s the thing this morning as I walk around the garden with decreasing trepidation that I will be gripped by another gastric attack. I’m beginning to think that there really is something to Pepto-Bismol that has kept it on the shelves and in the medicine cabinets for these 125 years. Sometimes the simple solution, in this case the simple pink stuff, is really the best cure for what ails you.