This morning I got an email notice from my friend Steve in Phoenix announcing that he and his lovely wife Maggie have moved into a new rental apartment as part of their aging/downsizing progression. As in most families, tribes and animal groups, there is always a lender of the pack, and that family seems to have Maggie as its leader. As the mother says in My Big Fat Greek Wedding, “the man may be the head, but the woman, she is the neck!” Maggie seems to have stuck out her neck long and steadily enough to get the job done. We have heard of this fabled Phoenix move for many years now…and the Phoenix seems to have finally risen from the ashes and into reality at this point. Maggie owns this move, but Steve and Maggie still own their large Phoenix home, which they have put on the market for sale. To my knowledge, it is their one and only owned home. They do not have a second or vacation home. Bravo! After years of multiple home ownership, I am an oft-declared fan of NOT having multiple homes. Strangely enough, I just got a Christmas card from an old boss who also lives int Phoenix and who must be about 90 now. He too was downsizing to a condo in an assisted living community, but was clear in mentioning that they were keeping their “summer place” somewhere in a cooler northern part of Arizona (does Arizona really have a cooler area???). So, obviously, some people are OK shedding home ownership at some point and others not so much.
What is it about accumulation of possessions that so intrigues and confuses humans? Some of the new Uber-rich like Jeff Bezos want to accumulate more and more stuff. They put George Carlin and his “stuff” routine to shame, not to mention Bud Fox from Wall Street, who wondered about how many yachts Gordon Gekko could waterski behind, as he purchases his fourth (?) megayacht. Others like infamous recluse Howard Hughes or weirdo boy-genius and white-nationalist South African Elon Musk, are quite taken with not owning anything (other than trillions of dollars of shares and countless women and children).
Home ownership has been a central symbol of the American Dream, but it’s not the entirety of it. It’s more like a key component or tangible marker of the American Dream. Home ownership became so closely associated with the Dream in the Post-WWII era. The connection was solidified in the 1940s-1960s through policies like the GI Bill, FHA loans, and suburban development. Owning a home represented stability, building equity, and achieving middle-class status. It was something your parents might not have had but you could attain. Who doesn’t remember, especially at this time of year, when George Bailey explains to the board of Mr. Potter’s bank in Bedford Falls that these hard-working immigrants like Mr. Martini deserved the right to get out of Potter’s rental shanties and into their own cute little suburban dream homes all their own. It was the Bailey Bros. Building & Loan solution for achieving the American Dream. Wealth building and home-ownership became synonymous as a way to convert monthly payments into ownership rather than “throwing money away on rent.” Owning property represents autonomy, permanence, and the ability to build something for your family. But the American Dream is broader than just home ownership. It also includes economic mobility and opportunity, access to quality education, the ability to improve your station through merit, freedom to pursue your goals, and The ability to provide better opportunities for your children.
Today, the relationship is more complicated. With housing prices outpacing wages in many markets, student debt burdens, and changing attitudes among younger generations, some question whether home ownership is as achievable or even as desirable as it once was. All of those American Dream characteristics stated above can be be challenged by someone these days whether they pertain to all classes of people (especially immigrants) or whether they should exist only for the favored few that some group in power thinks should be allowed to call themselves Americans. Some now view the American Dream more in terms of financial security, fulfilling work, or flexibility rather than traditional markers like home ownership. The subprime mortgage crash more than a decade ago got us to understand that America is simply NOT as able to push home ownership penetration as far as many other countries in the world enjoy and thereby making home ownership perhaps an un-American Dream.
The American Dream is the belief that anyone, regardless of their background or circumstances of birth, can achieve success and upward mobility through hard work, determination, and initiative in the United States. I say Ha! Really? Do we really have the ability to achieve financial security and prosperity, often symbolized by homeownership, a stable job, and the opportunity to provide a better life for one’s children than one had? How about the idea that class barriers are permeable and that someone born into poverty can rise to the middle class or beyond based on merit rather than inherited status? With the student debt crisis and the questionable value of higher education (now being “improved” by aggressive manipulation from the Trump White House), access to education, the freedom to pursue one’s chosen path, and the chance to reinvent oneself is less and less something in the consciousness of young people of any social strata as an avenue to success.
The phrase, The American Dream, was popularized by historian James Truslow Adams in his 1931 book “The Epic of America,” where he described it as “that dream of a land in which life should be better and richer and fuller for everyone, with opportunity for each according to ability or achievement.” Some have emphasized material success and wealth accumulation, while others have focused more on personal fulfillment, equality of opportunity, or civic participation. There’s ongoing debate about whether the American Dream remains achievable, with discussions centered on economic inequality, social mobility data, education costs, and structural barriers facing different groups. But ownership is still in the mix and seems at least partially coming unglued as we Baby Boomers age. Steve and Maggie have broken through. Many others have not. More will. Some will die with their boots cemented in place.
I believe in accountability and that means I believe in owning it when you make something happen, whether its a project or a piece of property. When you write, you must own your words, and I am reminded of that every time I cross the line with some comment. But when you own property, what is the first thing we all do? We get insurance so no one can tag us with the responsibility that comes along with ownership. As insurance gets more and more problematic, people are realizing that accountability and ownership of things is a good thing right up until its not and until we get to a place where we want less and not more responsibility (we all get there in our own way sooner or later). I believe in owning it and I like owning it right up until I no longer want to own it and then I want to do like Steve and Maggie have finally done…I want to let it go. As much as we should all own it while we can, we must ultimately realize that we own nothing in this universe and that other than love, nothing is left to own when we take that last breath and sail away into the peace and tranquility of the ether.