Out and About

Out and About

Recently I wrote a book for my motorcycling friends. It is a 444-page chronicle of the twenty-five years my little group of motorcycling friends have ridden together through thick and thin at home (mostly Utah and Vermont) and abroad. I had been planning on lugging thirty copies of the book to our next gathering in southern Utah. We have a spot we are particularly partial to in Teasdale, which is near Torrey, which is near both Capital Reefs National Park (a largely unknown but wonderfully beautiful park) and the Escalante Staircase, one of the great motorcycle rides in the world. That spot is the Lodge at Red River Ranch, which is what I call a Ralph Lauren look-alike Lodge with fifteen lovely rooms and a great room with buffalo (excuse me, bison) heads on the wall. Charlene and Dave VanDyke run the place and here’s the thing, they actually do have a few bison in the front yard grazing and sometimes giving birth to the next generation of bison. Some years when we ask where the bull from last year is, we get told he’s in the freezer. This is the real deal western lodge and we are gathering there in May for five days.

Well, we HOPE we are gathering there in May. It is our 25th or Silver Anniversary and as such is a very meaningful gathering. Our oldest member is 88 years old. We can’t afford to postpone this even though we might have to do just that. I called Charlene the other day and she says that Teasdale is not like the bustling tourist town of Moab and there has been no lockdown in Teasdale. The Lodge is open for business though she says they have had lots of cancellations. She is worried about staying afloat in what is a labor of love much less than a labor of greed. You don’t get rich running an inn with fifteen rooms, no matter how loyal your clientele, and we are among her most loyal. But these are not normal times as we all know all too well. We cannot be cavalier and put even “important” social gatherings ahead of the safety of others. Even though Donald Trump says we will all be back to normal by Easter, there are only five people in the country who believe that son-of-a-bitch by now. I suspect Charlene may be one, but I am unconditionally loyal to Charlene and the Lodge and will find a way to support her through this, but not at the expense of the safety of our brethren.

So, in deference to the uncertainty of the world, I made a command decision today. I decided that I was going to spoil the surprise and send out copies of the book to all my fellow group members. Let’s discuss the math on that for a moment. I already paid $25.75 per book. I bought mailers today for $2.95 apiece plus a bit of bubblewrap ($15 in bulk). Surface mail should cost about $3.50 (based on what Lulu Publishing says it costs them to mail my book by surface snail mail). I am prepared to hand address all these books and truck them down to the UPS store for mailing. I figure the added cost of mailing the 30 books I had planned to take to Utah will cost me an incremental $208.50 above and beyond the $772.50 I already spent on the books. That’s a 27% incremental cost. Some might say, in for a penny, in for a pound, but I look at it quite differently. First of all, this is a very important group to me. Besides my two high school pals and my dozen or so college pals, and one or two business pals, there is nobody I would go the distance for more than this motorcycle group. I have a sole tattoo on my left arm that testifies to that sentiment.

I probably spent over 500 hours (that’s a full-time quarter of a year) putting this book together. At my expert witness discount rate, that’s about $400,000 worth of my time spent on this book. There is nothing I love more than motorcycling and this group embodies all that I love about the sport and the social interaction of friendship based on a common pastime. It has been worth every penny, How does one put a price on a passion?

My thought today was that we are all (except for Charlene) locked down and practicing social distancing for the good of our species. It isn’t that its so hard to do as it is that it feels so different. We are social creatures and we want to be out and about, even if it is just for menial chores. Kim and I were looking forward to our outing for the day. I went into the UPS store to buy mailers (Kim squirted sanitizer into my hands as soon as I got back in the car). I took no change and got no closer than 6 feet to anyone. We then went to the grocery store and Kim went in to shop for necessary provisions. She too sanitized in the car. We then went to the drive-through pharmacy to pick up some meds (for me, for Kim and, even for Cecil, our dog). I felt weird touching the window tray, and immediately squirted sanitizer all over the place. We then went home, worn out by this one hour outing.

That ordeal made me think that all my motorcycle pals need something to read while they are sequestered. So today I took those mailers and the bubble-wrap and a big Sharpie pen (eat your heart out Donald) and I bundled up each and every one of the thirty books I had in boxes from the publisher (Lulu Press) and addressed each one by hand with that Sharpie. They are now stacked up out in the garage waiting for the page of return address stickers that someone sent me in their Welcome to Escondido package a few months ago.

By my reckoning I will have spent way more time on this than any rational person (even those in my motorcycle club) would think is worthwhile. There is something that feels righteous to me to give back to these people and this pastime that has given me so much pleasure over more than twenty-five years. I am anxious to get the book into everyone’s hands because I think it will bring them lots a pleasure. My decision to preempt the Silver Anniversary occasion and the surprise of the gift at that time is overwhelmed by my feeling that people are starting to get edgy about complying with their respective Stay-At-Home orders. Not every state has made that mandate, but there is no one in the whole world (the virus is now in 150 countries) that does not understand that it is incumbent on them to stay as much at home as they possibly can. I want to give all my friends a surprise at this difficult time. First of all, just getting a package is good news to almost everyone. Then, to get a big coffee-table-sized book in a pretty blue wrapper with a recognizable logo on the front and a glorious picture of Canyonlands on the back should bring a smile or two to people’s faces. Then there are the 444 pages of stories and tales of our travels and some 190 photographs to help us remember all the great rides and great times we have had over twenty-five years.

We can’t get out and about and be responsible citizens in this time of crisis. So instead, I am giving my dearest friends a means to get out and about in their minds and memories and who among us cannot enjoy the wonders of reflection? I hope they all like it as much as I hope they will.