Normal is as Normal Does
Last night we had dinner at C-Level, which is a nicer restaurant on Harbor Island in North San Diego Bay. It is near the airport (SAN) and across the Bay from North Coronado Island, where the U.S. Navy haas a large base that constitutes its major West Coast presence. This restaurant is notable to us both because we like it for its setting and food and because it is the place where, for ten years, we would come for lunch every time we flew into San Diego for vacation. It was our release point where we would let go of our New York City worries and relax in the wonderful San Diego sunshine and laid-back lifestyle. We have not eaten at C-Level for over a year. We went last night on the occasion of the visit of Kim’s friend and colleague, Lennie, who is spending ten days with us. He is escaping Nëw York City the way we did for those ten years. C-Level is always a busy restaurant and last night was no exception. We arrived fifteen minutes early but were called for our sitting at the exact time of our reservation. The host told us that while the outside table we had requested (and dressed accordingly for) would be ready in a few minutes, we could be seated right away at a nice indoor table next to the window out on the Bay. Without hesitation, we agreed and were seated inside instead of outside by a host wearing a mask (we were all in masks). We were served by a pleasant waitress, also wearing a mask the whole time.
This was a sort of watershed evening for us in our ongoing struggle with the COVID pandemic. We have been very careful for the last year in our compliance with all state and CDC recommendations and mandates. We have isolated ourselves on this hilltop. We have minimized our contact with the outside world as much as practical. We have certainly had workmen here over the last year (lots of them) and insisted that they wear masks, especially if they came into our home. We initially quarantined packages and wiped them down with disinfectant, but this practice went by the wayside very quickly. We restricted our daily travel into routine stores, always wearing our masks (indeed, increasingly higher quality masks as knowledge of such was available). We have severely restricted out travel. We did take one extended road trip to Oregon, but only ate out of doors and stayed in our own car most of the time. We cancelled at least three road trips due to the lockdown and outbreak schedules, all three of which we have rescheduled for this year and the first of which starts next week. We cancelled two foreign trips and, indeed, have not been on a flight or in an airport in over a year.
The conversation on the way to, during and after dinner was all about what we used to do and what we do now. Both Kim and I have stated that we are not ready and not anxious to fly anywhere and expect we are unlikely to do so until well later this year or even later. It is interesting to note how easily we agreed to an inside table, which we would certainly not have done last year. We wear our masks going in and out of the restaurant, but not while we are at the table. The tables at C-Level are decidedly more spaced out than they used to be, as is required under California safe dining regulations. None of us stay 100% current anymore about the specific regulations as to whether the occupancy standards are now this or that in this region, but we know they exist and we generally know how we in San Diego County fare versus other areas of the state, nation and world.
All three of us are fully vaccinated and there was a conversation with the young waitress on the subject. She said she had gotten the J&J single-shot vaccine (pause for tense laughter) and the resignation that it has been three weeks and so far no blood clotting signs. This is an extraordinary change in social interaction. What used to be a cursory “How are you” conversation with someone we casually met like a waitress (a waitress we could see and who could show us her facial expressions), is now an in-depth review of her medical status (at least vis-a-vis Coronavirus exposure) and we must read her reactions without ever having the benefit of her facial expressions since they are hidden under her well-fitting mask. Interestingly, she went on to tell us that she is doing well now but had “screwed the pooch” a bit in the past and had sorted herself out from whatever that misstep was meant to be. I sense that this is far more personal interaction than we would have had in a pre-COVID world.
There is no doubt that the extent of vaccination has altered the playing field in social interaction. We feel it every day and both feel more secure and feel we are safer to be around. We are returning to more “normal” social activities like dining out and dining in (as in indoor at restaurants) in some ways. In other ways, we are less likely to return to “normal” and indeed may be in an entirely new normal. That extends to things like going to movies, which I do not see us doing at any time soon. That is meaningful for someone like me that saw an average of two or three movies in movie theaters each week. It extends to activities like haircuts for me. I am now used to cutting my own hair and see no need to go back to a barber any time soon, if ever. Interestingly, Lennie says he really enjoys going back to his barber because he enjoys the personal interaction and touch and feels he has missed it greatly over the past year. And of course there is the change in attitude of flying here or there. On the one hand, Kim and I flew places at a considerably higher rate than most people. If I were estimating, I would say we would take perhaps four international trips per year and a dozen or more domestic flights per year. That is clearly on the high side even though there are many people who travel more. And yet, neither Kim nor I (as different as we may each be in terms of our sensibilities about risk) are inclined to add back that risk to our lives in any rapid or repeating manner. That is a fascinating issue of social psychology, perhaps because we are older and more weary (as opposed to wary) and/or we are in a stage of life when most people choose to travel more since their schedules are more flexible. This is all unmistakable change due to or at least prompted by COVID.
I suspect that we could ponder the notion of normalcy ad nauseam if we wished, but I’m not sure it really matters. The world is constantly changing and our lives are constantly changing both due to age and our own circumstances as well as a constantly changing external environment. The COVID pandemic has been a more focused and more universal change agent than most issues which buffet our lives. Few would suggest that it has been a non-event or if they do, they are mostly unaware or making a politically-motivated statement. Some of these changes are likely to be enduring and some will pass. Some have been brought on and unexpectedly changed our activities and some merely accelerated the pace of inevitable or in-process changes.
I have been working on revising a business biography for my friend and his career was spent in areas of popular culture like running/exercise and video gaming and video entertainment. Each of his jobs generally lasted about three years and I took note last night while reviewing some material that our cultural life has changed a great deal and quite regularly and rapidly over the past fifty years. It is said that the pace of change is accelerating. I have no empirical evidence for that, but I do sense it and believe that may be true. Nevertheless, change happens and has happened and will always happen. All it leads me to say is that normal is as normal does and its just time to get on with it.