No Joking Zone
I am a strong believer in the value of a sense of humor. To me, being able to joke around about things sets people at ease and helps to break down the hierarchical barriers that often prevent the level of open communications that are essential in good management. There are many cautionary signs these days about what one jokes about. Since many people create jokes that are either off-color or politically-incorrect (some would say they are worse than that and fundamentally racist), those are clearly places one should not and cannot go. There is added caution in this as any given joke may not strike us as politically incorrect because the double entendre or subtle turn of phrase with some sideways slight can backfire very easily.
I once interviewed a candidate for a job that had been released from a big job at a competitor for inappropriate behavior. I asked him to explain and he said he was the senior guy at a conference where a joke was made by a presenter that was potentially inappropriate. It was supposedly not a horrible racist joke, but rather a humorous comment that could be taken in multiple ways, some of which might be deemed offensive if taken to the worst-case interpretation. This manager was fired by the firm for not calling out the faux pas on the spot, denouncing the presenter publicly without further thought or discussion and thereby setting the proper tone for the audience with respect to the firm’s views. He did not snicker about the joke, he did not reference the joke in any supportive manner, he did not even praise the presenter for his comments. He merely moved on and ignored the presentation and carried on with the conference. That was enough to grant him collaborator status in the comment’s political incorrectness and so, he was terminated with prejudice to the negative comment made during his conference. The man was visibly shaken by the career-truncating event and adjudication. He said that he would never make a joke again and never stay in the room while a joke was being made. I was tempted to make a joke just to see how he would respond but refrained out of respect for his meaningfully impaired career situation. I did not hire him either, less because of the event, but more for what I perceived as a truly damaged psyche that might make it impossible for him to properly get on the horse to lead.
Joking is a natural part of all our daily lives. I cannot imagine many interactions that do not allow for and perhaps even demand a light-hearted approach to keep things in proper perspective. I just saw an ad for a car service that has a new Uber-like phone app that makes hailing and paying easier. A young man is visiting his grandmother in the suburbs and needs to go home into the city. He uses the app to order a car and explains it to his grandma. As the car rolls up to a stop and he opens the door, he tells his grandma how easy it is and that he has downloaded the app onto her phone so that maybe next time she could come into the city to meet him. What a nice sweet ad about a thoughtful grandson helping his grandma and doing what we all probably need to do more, pay attention to and helping our grandmas. Then the shot changes to a Manhattan nightclub line with a hot beat thumping in the background. The grandson is looking around the bouncer and sees his grandma in line in Spandex and gold lame and says something like, “Grandma, what are you doing here!?” Flag on the play. A nice ad just went offensive…to someone. Unavoidable? Not worthy of concern? The point is, no one person gets to judge such things.
I once spent two days in a negotiation with an aggressive and out-of-sorts broker who didn’t want to have his business subject to my managerial control. I didn’t even want the broker in my unit, but the higher powers that be wanted to absolve themselves of this wild card’s regulatory risks and wanted to tuck him in under me. After the two-day affair with repeated reassurances that the management would be “light-touch” and not severely impact his business, the deal was agreed. As the meeting broke up, he asked when this would begin. The answer was that it was immediate. As a joke, I said, “OK then, now get down on all fours and bark like a dog.” The lawyers (including his) and others in the room saw it for the joke it was and laughed. I immediately said, “just kidding” with a smile. But he paused (I could see the gears turning), turned to me and said that was the most offensive thing anyone had ever said to him and he stormed out. It was clearly a contrived response, intended to make a last-ditch effort to wiggle out of supervision. An hour later I was called to the Chairman’s office, where he had quickly lodged his complaint, and asked if I was some sort of stand-up comedian. The result, he got what he wanted, and I got what I wanted, which was no responsibility by me for this loose cannon. My act was inadvertent and intended to break the ice, but it was seized upon for other purposes. C’est la guerre.
But this topic was intended to make a point about joking. Some people will never use it. Some people will never be able to stop using it. I am clearly more in the latter camp. But I think I have learned that there are certain situations and certain topics that cannot accept joking and where it should not be used. The list of those situations and topics is too long to enumerate, but one comment must be made. The office of the President of the United States does not have the right to use joking either as a real tactic or as an excuse to avoid censure for misfired or inappropriate comments. As we all know, our President believes that Twitter is the best way to communicate directly with the electorate and, indeed, the world. He has used it non-stop for over three years now and we are all in shock and awe at things that come out of his keyboarding. The inappropriateness of his tweets and comments has reached epic proportions. And thus, the use of the “I was just joking” excuse has also reached epic proportions. Since President Trump has absolutely no credibility with anyone beyond his shrinking alienated base, it is unclear which has less credibility. Do we believe his comments and proposals less or do we believe his excuses for having made them less? Tough call.
When I heard from his comment that he was “just kidding” about his suggestion about buying Greenland it was laughable. Let’s review the sequence of events. He comments that he wants to buy Greenland and would discuss that with the Danes during his upcoming visit. The Danish Prime Minister declares no interest and calls the suggestion absurd (which is the reaction of most of the educated world). At first, the White House, trying to end the dialogue, politely thanks the Danes for the consideration and says they are within their rights to hold rather than sell (this was clearly a staffer-led attempt to move on from a stupid and minor side-comment from the President). Then Trump starts to stew over the use of the word absurd. I can just imagine him yelling the word “Absurd?! Absurd?! Absurd?!…” at the moon, the way the father in Breaking Away does before he has a mental breakdown, “Refund?!, Refund?!, Refund?!…” When the world comes out strongly in favor of the Danish PM and mocks Trump for his puerile reaction, Trump goes to his go-to trope and says it was all a joke. Very funny. Almost as funny as America has become on the world stage under his leadership. Will someone please tell Trump that the Presidential podium in a no joking zone.