Never Wrestle With A Pig
You know the old adage. Never wrestle with a pig because you’ll get dirty…and the pig likes it. This is what we are hearing today as Trump left Mar-a-Lago and flew off to New York (LaGuardia Airport) to spend the night at his 33,000 square foot, $327 million condo on Fifth Avenue and 56th Street at Trump Tower. Oh, wait a minute, my mistake, I was defining the Trump Tower condo with the parameters provided by Trump in his financial statements over eleven years. The problem is that the condo is actually only 11,000 square feet (still an impressively large condo by NYC standards) and his records seem to have slightly exaggerated that fact for reasons that are not easily explained, except perhaps to inflate the price. And that was a dozen years ago. Today, the most expensive home in Manhattan ever marketed is the penthouse at 217 W57th, which is 17,545 square feet on the 129th – 131st floor of Central Park South Tower, for which the asking price is a record-setting $250 million. That is $14, 249 per square foot, which is also a record-setting PSF level. Those records exist except for the Trump contention that his 11,000 square foot apartment should be valued at $29,727 per square foot, a full doubling of the record today, and a total price 31% higher than anything else ever offered in the Manhattan market. I’m not so sure the concept of being a pig has ever really been applied to residential real estate and I doubt anyone in the luxury real estate business really cares if getting dirty is part of the play.
The range of excuses being made for Donald Trump and his past and present actions are astounding. They range from apologists saying that everyone has known of his infidelity and womanizing and misogynistic ways for years, so what’s the problem, all the way to the repeated and nuanced discussions about how much he loves the attention but also is deadly afraid of the humiliation and the actual man-handling he is about to go through. The fact that this is all occurring in his home town of NYC, where he is perhaps less popular than anywhere else in the country should not be missed by any of us. He only garnered 11% of the vote in NYC in 2020, which is an amazingly low number in a country that is so evenly divided these days between right and left. That should speak volumes to the world about how those who know the man best, feel about him.
Naturally, a good deal of the press coverage so far focuses on the size, or lack thereof of the crowds who are standing in support of him and protesting his being so brusquely treated. The video of the 25 people lining his route to West Palm Beach Airport was an embarrassment and was portrayed loudly as such. It gave rise to lots of social media jabs that were very Trumpesque in their crass and distasteful (but embarrassingly chuckle-worthy) manner. Trumphas even stopped all in for his faithful to gather, since that just ain’t happening.
The Fifth Avenue man-on-the-street camera interviews have been of the one or two brave and often masked supporters who look far more deranged than dangerous. They are reminiscent of the January 6th horned Shaman in the Capital rather than any of the body-armored Proud Boys that raise hackles on the necks of every honest and upright citizen. My favorite quote from a man on the street came from some poor schmuck from Minnesota that was there in midtown just trying to do his business and who said, “this nonsense is enough to make you want to hate the guy even more.” That is a very genuine reaction that probably underlies all the humor and sensationalism for us all. Why is this man and his shenanigans able to commandeer large swaths of our limited time on this earth. You can argue that we allow this to happen to ourselves, but I submit that no one can get out of the way of a muddy pig running through an Easter picnic. We all get muddied whether we intended or wanted to wrestle with the pig or not. Strangely enough, the pig may squeal like he likes getting dirty, but ,indeed, this is not his brand of mud. He may pretend to like it, but he is actually disgusted and embarrassed by his own shit-covered hide, perhaps for the first time in his life. And as for us, this shit that we get on us will reek and stain us for a long time.
The news cycle tells us that after today, the pig will go back in his pen at Mar-a-Lago and may or may not go quiet. But no matter how quiet he goes, the shitstorm has not only not ended, but it has just begun for him. Love him or hate him, you are not done with this pig by a long shot. The next three criminal indictments are on the warpath and will start coming in a month, maybe even before the legal maneuvering on this Manhattan indictment gets revved up. This pig is going into the corner of his pen and will start shitting himself again first to the tune of the Georgia Fulton County indictment for which there is no pardon and for which the recorded evidence is so very clear. But when the full weight of the Federal charges from Jack Smith and DOJ descend, thus little piggy will be unable to go wee wee wee all the way home.
As a country and as a world, we have far too many serious problems with which to contend to put up with much more greased pig antics. Carnivals and state fairs all end because people have only so much willingness to let themselves be distracted by funny pigs and mud splattering for so long. We all need to get back to work like that guy from Minnesota. The guy on Fifth Avenue with the MAGA suit also probably needs to go punch a clock as well or at least go pick up his disability check. Long before the final gavel sounds in the final criminal case on Donald Trump (not to mention the 14 active civil cases facing him and his family), we will all be overtired of all of this. We will all feel more vindication than we can stomach and we will just want life to move on. Donald Trump will be the pig in the dust of the Coliseum like Commodus in Gladiator. We may not even remember why we all cared so much.
The people that will and should care are those who to this day are standing in his defense. They will be the ones most splattered by the pig and with the most lingering smell of pig shit about them. I cannot end this diatribe without another mixed metaphor. They say on Wall Street that the Bull can win at times and the Bear too can win, but that the pig always gets slaughtered. As for me, I think I may just decide that for one time in my life, I am tired of it all and may choose not to bring home the bacon.