Namaste
We love our new hilltop community. We like all the people and especially like the diversity of the community. We have Persian, Japanese, Arab, Scottish, Indonesian, French and Nepalese people in addition to a full array of mixed American nuts as well. Almost two years ago, Ramesh and Lili Pandey, who are Nepalese, moved in next door, making them physically our closest neighbors. We have gotten friendly with them, which is nice for us since the previous inhabitants of that house were virtually unknown to us, such that when they died unexpectedly, we didn’t really have anything to miss. The Pandey’s have spent the last two years working on their property, presumably getting it just the way they want it. They have had the help of their extended Nepalese families with Ramesh’s parents staying for a long period of time and, more recently, Lili’s parents staying for the better part of a year. Both fathers provided the yard work for Ramesh while he went off to ply his engineering skills at Qualcomm and Lili spent her time gestating a lovely little daughter, Aanshi, to whom she gave birth about six months ago.
Despite being quite friendly with the Pandey’s, we tend to only see them when we have a local gathering at our house or when we wave to them as they drive by. They are young and have busy lives, so we completely understand. Recently, we got invited to a function that is apparently a big deal in Nepalese culture. It was a Weaning Ceremony or Rice-Eating Ceremony for Aanshi. I guess it is the cultural equivalent of a christening in Christian culture, a celebration of a new child who has worked its way through the age-old (yet not currently so perilous) rocky shoals of infancy and come out as a healthy youth.
The interesting think about the invitation to this ceremony, which came as a lovely and very Nepalese-looking invitation complete with a picture of a dressed-up Aanshi, was that the ceremony was planned for 5:30pm on February 12th. It is not so unusual for someone from Nepal to think that Sunday, February 12th is just another February Sunday (actually the day before President’s Day). What they seemed to miss was that it was not only Super Bowl Sunday, but it was set at exactly the time of the game itself. In fact, if you were trying to schedule a competing event, you could not pick a more conflicted time.
There are currently three other homes here on Quail View Drive (a fourth is getting ready for construction). All three of us, the McColls, the Mooneys and the Marins were all invited to the ceremony on Super Bowl Sunday. I don’t think you could have picked another street in America where everybody had the unanimous feeling that the Super Bowl was no big deal and did not in any way conflict with accepting the invitation to attend the festivities. Quite unusual.
The event was scheduled to held at the Royal India Banquet Hall in San Diego. Ramesh told me that as the prior head of the Nepalese Society for San Diego, he was woefully aware that there was simply not enough Nepalese critical mass in the area to justify their own event facility, so they tended to use the Royal India Banquet Hall for such functions. We pulled up early, as is my habit, and waited to see what others were wearing to gauge how appropriately we had dressed, not being experts in traditional Nepalese gatherings like this. I happened to have a fancy brocade Indian tunic and Kim had a stylish Asian jacket, so we felt more or less comfortable that we would fit in. From what we could tell, Nepalese gatherings are just like American gatherings with some people, particularly the women, getting dressed to the nines, while others wore jeans and sneakers. The women were pretty much all festooned in saris while the men wore subdued tunics rather then the fancier style I happened to have on. We felt like we were within the range of acceptable dress, so we went in once we saw Winston and Kathleen waiting in their car like we were.
It was a pretty standard event space with a stage and an array of round tables set for the banquet. The entry was organized so that everyone got to sit for a photo opportunity with the blessed couple with child. Needless to say, Ramesh, Lili and Aanshi were all dressed up for the occasion. We had our picture taken for their album and then wandered around the room looking for an open table. The service was to be a buffet style rather than table service, which I tend to prefer since it allows you to go at your own pace. We found an open spot and reserved seats for the six of us non-Nepalese neighbors. In fact, out of about 150 attendees, I think we were the only non-Nepalese there. I say that with the full appreciation that for the most part these Nepalese were Southern California Nepalese who were probably more comfortable on the Freeway than on the mountain roads in the Himalayas. Nonetheless, the Nepalese warmth and hospitality was in full display with Ramesh, Lili, and Lili’s parents coming by our table every so often to be sure that we all felt comfortable and were enjoying ourselves.
Everything about the event was very Nepalese (or at least Indian…I’m still not quite sure how to differentiate the two when it comes to dress or food). The music was pure Bollywood from start to finish with the dancing to go with it. There was no ceremony per-se since we were told that happens in some temple or other and is not intended as a spectacle for visitors. So everything was geared to enjoyment and celebration and I think the Nepalese do that up pretty much the way all cultures do. They talk and they dance and occasionally you can even see them mouthing the words to some Bollywood song or other that they favor. the kids ran around playing tag and bouncing balloons just like they would at a Greek or Jewish or Peruvian wedding. At one point the kids were rampaging on stage an brought down the scrim backdrop. Ramesh told me that little trick was going to cost him $1,000 to fix, so all the kids were temporarily subdued, only to rev back up in a few minutes after the shock and awe had passed.
Strangely enough, we had gone out the night before for Indian cuisine, only to find that the menu for the Nepalese ceremony was identical to what we had ordered and eaten the night before. There was Chicken Tikka and Somosas for appetizers. Then the main dish of rice, Saag Paneer, Chicken Masala, Goat Masala and Naan bread were all available. The only difference is that at Curry and More you pick your spice level (I usually go with a 2 out of 10) and at the Royal India Banquet House they cook to the taste of their clientele and that meant that we were eating spice level 8 or so. It was enough to bring tears to my eyes.
After three hours, Kim and I declared that we had to go home to see to Betty (in actuality, Gary and Oswaldo were looking after Betty just fine). We turned to the McColls and the Mooneys, bowed politely, said our Namastes and exited stage left.