Fiction/Humor

Mintless Mango Mojitos

Mintless Mango Mojitos

We are sitting by the edge of the pool at Elbow Beach Club on Sunday afternoon. It’s been a pleasant three days in paradise, and we will have dinner in Hamilton tonight, return our Twizy’s and depart for the airport in the morning. The pool barman has offered us any drink we want, so Kim ordered a mango mojito. There was an issue. It seems he was tragically out of fresh mint and did not believe he could or perhaps should make a mojito without it. Kim thought about that for a moment and said, no, it would be fine for him to make her a mango mojito without fresh mint. He was dubious, but he proceeded on the theory that the client was always right. The mintless mango mojito was delivered and Kim enjoyed it just fine.

Let’s face it, if you’re on vacation and in a chilled state of mind and looking for an umbrella drink to enjoy, are you really going to complain if there’s no fresh mint in your mango mojito? I remember a dozen or so years ago when we visited out Ithaca house and brought my son’s friend Niles along. Niles’ family was Jamaican and he was totally into music. He was a cool cat, so when we went to the Ithaca Country Club for lunch and were asked for our order, Niles ordered a virgin mojito without blinking an eye. The wait staff were taken aback. Could they make a mojito without rum? Luckily they did have fresh mint, so a splash of this and that and a bunch of mashed up mint and Niles had his virgin mojito.

It turns out that mojito is just a state of mind and it just takes a glass, ice and almost anything you want to put in the glass, shaken not stirred. Obviously I am making a point here. The old expression that I favor for such things is that it matters not if we get what we want, it’s critical that we want what we get. A Mintless Mango Mojito or a Virgin Mojito for that matter are fine drinks that we should all enjoy when ordered and not fuss about what’s missing in the mix. I don’t tend to drink alcohol, so if I ever order a mojito it will be a virgin one. I will order it in celebration of something. It may be a celebration of the people I’m with. It might be a celebration of where I am. Or it might be a celebration of some noteworthy event for which I am proud or happy about or both. It won’t make a damn bit of difference what is or isn’t in it.

This three days in Bermuda has been a bit of a Mintless Mango Mojito. It’s early April and Bermuda is not quite in-season. It’s been high 60’s to 70 degree temperature. It’s been partly cloudy with occasional spritzing. Not being hot beach weather may be a lack of fresh mint to some (the hotel is barely open). There have been a handful of people on the beach or at the pool and you have to work at finding a barman in either location from whom to order your mojito of any kind. But Bermuda is so lovely that cooler weather takes little away from the attraction of the place. For three days (really two and a half) we rode all around the island in our Twizy’s. For years I have rented scooters in Bermuda, and given my motorcycling proclivities, it’s been great…if the weathers good. Bermuda, like anywhere, can get bad weather. Heading out to dinner by scooter is considerably less romantic if you and your companion end up soaked and mud-splattered. In addition, invariably someone is not as coordinated on a scooter as is advisable, so you either end up with someone with a Bermuda tattoo (road rash) or someone with an ulcer worrying about such an event.

For the first time in my forty years of Bermuda visits, there’s an alternative. Renault has made a four-wheeled, open-air, electric buggy that has a roof, windshield, and doors ( though no windows) called a Twizy. The passenger sits behind the driver, so while stable, it is a much narrower vehicle on there narrow limestone-walled roads. It is a perfect vehicle for the couples who visit Bermuda. We all loved them. They are fun to drive, fun to ride in, convenient and. relatively comfortable. For bigger people like Kim and me (clearly the outer fringe of the size distribution chart), while it was comfortable to drive/ride, it was a chore to get in or out. We felt a bit like a clown car when we pulled up anywhere, unfolding ourselves from the vehicle. They cost three times what a scooter rental cost, but hey, what’s it worth to avoid a Bermuda tattoo on your lady friend?

The range of these buggies is the same basic problem I face with my Tesla. On most days the range limitation is no big deal, but every once in a while, you find yourself having to think about how far you can get before a recharge. It forces you to think and plan more than usual, which is not a terrible drawback, but does conflict a bit with the notion of a carefree vacation. You can go about 55 km on a charge and it takes 3 hours to recharge. Remember, this is a small island, so that’s actually a lot a ground to cover. With a little coordination we recharged twice over the three day and saw 90% of what’s worth seeing.

We had a great time in Bermuda. It’s changed a lot over forty years and in some ways not at all. The water, the sand, the flowering bushes, the lush vegetation, the coral block moon-gates, the lovely winding roads and the white-roofed pastel-colored tidy homes have not changed. Hamilton and St. George are as quint as ever. The 67,000 Bermudians are as pleasant and helpful as always. What has changed are the Twizy’s, the restaurants (no more MAP), now you can eat out all over the island and have great meals everywhere, and people are dressing far more casually at dinner than I’ve ever seen. Gone are the days of eating a gamey steak in a blue blazer, shorts and knee socks.

So come to Bermuda and don’t worry about the weather or the exactness of the season. Plan to book restaurants in advance. Book your Twizy. And if they’re out of mint for your mojito, laugh it off and enjoy it all.