Love Memoir Politics

If Life Isn’t Kicking Your Ass, It’s Not Doing It’s Job

Michael Keaton is one of the actors I always want to watch. He’s never really gone full A-List, but he has hung in there for a long time and keeps doing interesting projects every step of the way. While he earned his chops mostly in the sitcom TV space, I think his breakout film role was probably Bettlejuice, which is very memorable, even though its weird. In fact, I think the only reason it still gets play and now a remake/sequel is due to Keaton and his exuberant role. Some will say he hit a stride in Batman, but I think the next really meaningful role for him was in Birdman. Since then he has done Spotlight, Founder and now Goodrich. It was in Goodrich that Keaton, in explaining some twist of fate that has inflicted itself on his adult daughter, uses that line….”If life isn’t kicking you ass, it’s not doing it’s job”. The movie is about a 60-year-old man who owns an art gallery in Los Angeles and is struggling through the combined issues of a wife in rehab (unexpectedly) who wants to leave him, two sets of children 20 years apart who wonder if their father cares about them, and a longstanding gallery that is failing by virtue of having lost touch with its younger stable of artists. In some ways, this film is about every father in modern America. As Kim and I left the movie we spoke about how difficult it can be to be a good father and how little many people who haven’t lived that life understand the art of juggling the responsibilities while maintaining an outward calm about it all that lets you carry on with your life.

Kim and I loved this movie, not just because we like Michael Keaton, which we do, but because the slow and evolving pain that his character seems unable to avoid, is so subtle and yet so very debilitating. Meanwhile, he does everything he can to support his older and younger children, his estranged first wife and his detached second wife. Basically, he is there for everybody and pretty much no one is there for him in his moment of need. This film has a very subtle plot line and its narrative arc is barely noticeable. In fact, some might ask why this was worthy of being made into a movie at all. I believe what makes Keaton such a special actor is that he finds such interesting roles in the least likely places and makes them memorable. The only movies that I can recall that address the fatherly burdens as well as this one are Field of Dreams with Kevin Costner and Parenthood with Steve Martin. As a father, I really feel that we are supposed to be strong and silent and thus, finding a portrayal of the burdens that fall, often unnoticed on a father’s shoulders in modern life seems very poignant and relatable to me.

Being long suffering is generally a trait I admire in a person. It goes back to the fundamentals espoused in Gladiator and other movies where “Strength and Honor” is used as a rallying cry for the Roman Legion and then for the cadre of gladiators. The term “Strength and Honor” has deeply rooted meaning in history and is noted in many places as a degree of mutual respect for fellow combatants or travelers on a path as well as the degree of trust that must exist between the peers who are on the same path. The strength referenced is physical but also represents strength of character. Marcus Aurelius, who used the Latin term “Virtūs et Honos” was the last of what was known as the five good emperors (Nerva, Trajan, Hadrian, Antonines Pius and Marcus Aurelius), as coined by Niccolo Machiavelli (of all people!). They presided over the end of the Pax Romana that demarcated the golden period of the Roman Empire. It is that period and the ending of that period that feels at times as though it is upon us here in America as we struggle against forces and leaders like Trump that epitomize the exact opposite of strength and honor.

Throughout history, the greatest leaders that are most remembered for their contributions to society are those who found exactly that balance between strength and compassion. I’ve noted before that most of the statuary in Egypt of the best Pharaohs show them sitting on a throne with one hand made into a fist and one hand with an outreaching palm. The symbolism is clear. The fist represents strength and the open palm represents mercy or compassion for the people he leads. There are such things as benign autocracies, at least in concept, but I think its fair to say that history has proven that autocracies that may start off as benign most often drift into pure despotic autocracies where the needs and will of the people are ignored or consciously neglected. Once in power, few despots remain focused on their constituents, despite whatever efficiency they say they bring to the table. Mussolini’s getting the trains to run on time is a minor afterthought compared to the harm he did to his people in the name of his personal glory. Being a river to your people as Auda Abu Tayi of the Howeitat tribe of Bedouin Arabs says he is in Lawrence of Arabia is quickly countered by the fact that he reports to his people that he has gotten 100 gold bars per month from the Turks in Aqaba, while Lawrence explains that he actually gets 150 (the difference accruing to Auda’s own pocket). I’m not sure that I would even mind the petty theft and corruption so much if I thought Auda was a kind and benevolent ruler, but we know from that movie, if not broader historical facts, that life was not very valued in the Bedouin world and they accordingly adhered to the notion of God’s will and fate rather than take steps to insure the safety and prosperity of the less strong among them. “It is written” covers a multitude of sins and the notion that “When you find what you are looking for, you will go home…[or] you are a fool.” Shows the real self-centered views of the Bedouin leadership at the time. I suppose in the harsh environs of the desert, one could argue that it was the only pragmatic way to approach life and natural selection.

As cruel and unforgiving as nature may be, that should not be the case in more evolved and enlightened societies. Those who say collectivism is not nature’s way, all you have to do is point to many examples ranging from social insects like ants and bees that place the common good above the individual all the way to more advanced mammalian examples like how wolf packs pace themselves based on the ability of the eldest wolves to keep up rather than abandoning them to the wild. These packs presumably don’t do so just out of respect or kindness, but because they see the value to the pack of the knowledge and wisdom of the elders. It’s not that hard to extend that thinking to the value of diversity and inclusiveness. We do it from a place of grace for sure, but also to benefit the collective through the intangible things we all gain from those that superficially seem weaker or less able.

Life has the ability, and Michael Keaton would say the obligation, to kick our butts. We can easily convince ourselves that we are a drag on society or even our families. It is tempting to start resigning ourselves away when people start putting DNRs in front of our faces for the sake of good housekeeping. Fathers can easily find themselves feeling that if they cannot fix every problem, why do they bother to exist. But every one of us has value and as Lawrence would say, “Nothing is written”. So just remember that life is not picking on you or telling you it’s time. It’s just the job of life to be hard so that we all can be, as the Army has told us for years, all that we can be.