Handy Rich
Ever since we came back from our summer cross-country trip, Handy Brad and I have modified our arrangement. I think this was a combination of Brad getting some other work in his neighborhood for an older woman (i.e. someone who was not so penny-pinching as some of his other retiree neighbors) and me running low on new projects. Now, if I need Handy Brad for something, I call him and we agree on a day and time and he comes up and does it and I pay him for the job. It’s the right arrangement for an ongoing intermittent need for help with certain projects which I cannot reasonably do myself or get some specialist to do. Handy Brad is still very appreciative of all the work I have given him over the last two years and he seems always prepared to put me on the top of his priority list. I, in turn, an respectful that he has other customers and don’t insist on him coming at times that are inconvenient to him. It’s a better ongoing situation for both of us as Handy Brad needs to slow down a bit given his eye problems (cataracts and glaucoma) which he has half fixed at this point. In addition to that, Handy Brad is not vaccinated for reasons I have not plumbed since I know his wife is and given his COPD history, I have to believe he would be a highly vulnerable infection candidate. So I have had Handy Brad come over only twice in the past two months and both times it was for work outdoors in the yard.
Last year, when our cleaning crew found a scorpion in the house, Kim had Handy Brad put diatomaceous earth (apparently Kryptonite to scorpions) all around the perimeter of the house. I have this visual image of a family of scorpions standing at the perimeter, looking at our house and saying, “Damn, should we move on or should we make a run for it and try and jump over it?” While we were away last week, Natasha, A#1 dog-watcher, saw two scorpions over on her side of the house. They scare her just like they scare Kim. So today, I called Western Exterminators, one of our two pest control companies, and told them to bring in the scorpion squad. I do not mess with systematic pest control. I might spray a wasp nest if its a small one, but if there are serious pest issues, I bring in the experts. They are generally good for any kind of pests, but they also seem to eschew mice for some reason. I did tell the people at Truly Nolan, the other pest company, that they should consider changing their van advertising and take the mouse ears off the top of the van if they weren’t going to take on mice. That struck them as an original thought, which I find funny all by itself.
I feel that things having to do with the garden no not require Handy Brad unless I want to put in some stone stairs somewhere since Brad is a master craftsman when it comes to stone and tile. Regular rock garden stone work is more the province of the Mexican gardening crew. I would only call Handy Brad if I needed his truck or extra pair of hands. But truth be told, there is very little left to do of a landscaping nature on this property than I am likely to tackle, and that which I do tackle I will likely try to do myself.
I recently had Handy Brad put in a 4×4 post for a large new Purple Martin bird house I placed in the Cecil Garden. Digging a four-foot hole and securing a post in it is perfectly good Handy Brad work and he was over that day anyway. But I did take on another bird structure from the cactus knoll over by my office. I had been looking out on a nice bird feeder that looked like a gazebo on a pole. It is a wooden structure that is all weathered and looks to have been there quite a while. The peaked hexagonal roof had fallen in and it was either a candidate for repair or replacement. I took it down and determined that it was a perfectly good project for me , on which I could take my sweet time and do the work in my garage on my workbench. After all, that is why I installed a workbench, right?
I had reclaimed all the roof pieces, but they were old and in significant disrepair. In fact, they felt light as balsa wood and seemed less nailable and more gluable. I got the brainstorm to buy sheet copper and fashion a copper roof, which I thought would be an upgrade and would last a good long time. I was wise enough to anticipate the problems I might encounter, so I also ordered a large roll of copper tape to handle the likely seam issues and some small copper nails. The one thing I wasn’t able to find online was some sort of Coppola for the top where there would be a gathering of rooflines and seams. I decided I would have to make my own Coppola when the time came.
Working with a pitched hexagonal roof was more difficult than I expected. What you need is what the medieval builders used when building a large cathedral dome (I once read a book called Cathedral about the building of the cathedral in Chartres.). These masons would pile up a great mount of rock and dirt on which to support the dome and then build over it. They would then remove the dirt after the dome was securely completed. It was primitive, but functional. I suppose I could have done something similar, but it seemed way too onerous, so I just went about winging it, using the wooden roof pieces to create the base and putting bent copper, formed to the same shape, over it all. Do you know the old economics joke that ends with “given a can-opener, I can open the can.”? Well, given the proper tools and the patience to do the task carefully, I am sure I could have built a fine roof. But I also was thinking that since I could buy a lovely replacement for $75 or so, I would only spend so much time on it.
Thank God for that copper tape. Between a staple gun, the copper tacks, a recently purchased nail set (perfect for punching small holes in copper sheeting after breaking my one small drill-set on the task) and a fair amount of construction adhesive (I have a wide array of brands and find there are always uses for it), I was able to construct a new hexagonal roof in copper. The copper tape hid a vast assortment of flaws in the construction and at this moment it looks OK against the copper plate. As for the cupola, I finally decided to use a spray cap that I covered in copper tape and then glued and taped to form a cylindrical copper top. If you know its a spray can top, it looks silly. If you don’t you perhaps wonder about the design aesthetic, but think it looks more or less in place. I put the completed and fixed bird feeder back on its pole and it now proudly sits in view of my office desk. If Handy Brad or my metalsmithing brother-in-law Bennett saw it they would smirk at the amateurish way in which I put it together. I also don’t know how long it will last, but for the moment anyway, I am declaring myself Handy Rich for fixing the broken one rather than just buying a new one.