Getting Ornery
Have you ever woken up on the wrong side of bed and had your day go sideways from there? I’m betting everyone can relate to that sensation. Well, this morning as I struggled to get out from under my new heavy blanket (that thing is headed for the sofa today on the theory that it does little good for my sleep in bed, but might help Kim or me nap better on the sofa when we are so inclined), I had my day go off the rails in several ways and I am writing about it in the hopes that I can exorcize whatever demons are at work within me.
There are five areas of engagement in my life right now, at least generally speaking. Let’s chip away the ones that could cause angst on any given day. To begin with, family. Nothing untoward is happening with family. I had a nice Gang FaceTime call with the kids this weekend. We had a nice dinner with Jeff and Lisa on Saturday. I had a nice birthday call from Barbara and sister-in-law Sharon and her husband, Woo. And last night we had sister Kathy and hubby Bennett over for a very nice celebration of her birthday today. So family was in fine shape.
Then there is work, which for me at this stage breaks down to Hydrogen Venture, expert witness gigs and teaching at University of San Diego. USD has a call with me (at least the Finance Department Head) this Wednesday to discuss how we can increase my engagement with them. That seems like a positive development by my way of thinking since I like teaching. In terms of expert witness work, I have the one lingering case that has potential testimony needs every Friday, and I have a new gig on the hoof and yet to materialize. My hope is to fill my inbox with a few more cases this year. I find them interesting and time-consuming not to mention a productive use of my time that throws a few extra home-improvement bucks my way. And last, but not least this morning is Hydrogen Venture, for which I function as CEO. That is where this morning’s sideways movement mostly comes from. I am searching for a way to describe the problem without sounding petty. We are a company in search of more funding. We have more investor webinars this week on the schedule. We also have a board meeting which was called, which while always a good thing in my view, was called in a strange way that leaves me wondering what the objectives of the meeting might be. And then there was our chief scientist, who has alienated almost everyone in the company and is now doing a dance on my nerves, by insisting on communicating with our outside counsel and investors without talking to me first. I have come to understand his quirks so this should not concern me, but generally there is insufficient and imprecise communications flying around about the board meeting and the various investor outreaches that pile up to add to the frustration of trying to run a company remotely at a time when it should either be funded or shut down. It has all come down on my head this morning and resulted in the feeling that I should not be the CEO if I cannot operate like the CEO. I’ve been around the block enough to know that that leads to no good.
And then there is the ongoing deck saga. All three of my workmen had issues this morning. Dave ran out of gas and was a half hour late. Rich was a half hour late for no particular reason and declared that he is out-of-pocket tomorrow morning for some personal errand. And then loyal Handy Brad told me this morning first that he would be late due to a slow pick-up of materials at Home Depot and then because neighbor Mary has asked him to work on a number of issues for him as she prepares her house for sale. I had approved of this incursion generally, but it is clear that having more than one obligation at a time is not a program that Handy Brad can handle easily. The idea was to ask if Dave would take on the work to get it off Brad’s plate. What comes to my mind is that old adage that no good deed goes unpunished. I want to be helpful to the widow Mary, but I also want to finish this damn deck. Brad is now in his critical master craftsman tile guy mode and needs to stay focused on finishing the deck.
So, I am sitting here in the kitchen trying to vent all of this to let the steam out of my otherwise Getting Ornery feelings this morning. It’s a grey day here on the hilltop, which is not necessarily a bad thing, but somehow feels appropriate to my mood. When asked by Kim, houseguests Gary and Oswaldo and even sister Kathy (who I thought to call to Ofer same-day birthday greetings) what I planned for the day, I said “Nothing.” That sounded harsh and was probably intended to sound harsh as a reflection of my morning mood. I think I need to do something to get myself out of this overcast place.
I have run through my to-do list for you so I’m not sure I have a natural escape hatch, so I will have to create one for myself. I have two pairs of slippers (technically one pair of slippers and one pair of sandals) that I got from sister Kathy for my birthday and they need to be returned since they are both too small (always a fun realization). That’s an errand to do. I have miscellaneous garden-related things to do ranging from more pruning, more low voltage lighting (the front entry) and now, the placement of some sort of whirligig that is out in the garage and that was an added birthday gift from Kathy. I doubt there is much I can do on the work front, but I am reaching out to our Hydrogen head scientist to try to resolve that. I just did that and we managed to clear the air. Strangely enough, one of the unusual elements was that he was not returning my calls. He said that since his calls kept going to voice mail he suspected I had blocked him. I checked and indeed, he was blocked. I unblocked him and told him that must have been a subconscious act on my part since I don’t remember ever doing it. That has suddenly made me feel less ornery.
I am now shaking off my sideways morning and feel that writing it all down here and sharing it with my readers has helped me on some level. Isn’t it great to know that you all passively helped me get un-orneried?