Fiction/Humor Memoir

Getting It Right

In the work I do around the house and grounds, sometimes I do something, plant something or build something that perfectly suits the spot. But that only happens some of the time. As much of a planner as I like to consider myself, when it comes to the gardens, I admittedly follow a more whimsical and random approach. There is planning involved in execution, but not so much in overall design. I tend to get an idea or a visualization, and then I just do it, as the folks at Nike have admonished us to do.

I am on my third iteration of the play area. It’s not an extremely important part of my garden, but it is visible from the road and it certainly is big enough to require meaningful effort and expense to renovate it. I think I have it right this time, but that is really no gauge. I always think I have it right…until I don’t. I’ve redone the patio area twice and am very pleased with it at the moment. I’ve just finished redoing the northwestern side of the house, where I used to have a wildflower garden and now have something different (I have yet to come up with a name that captures the theme of this newest rock garden…I count three or four rock gardens, at least, on this rocky and boulder-strewn hilltop).

I suppose that if you consider gardening a hobby or pastime to keep you busy and active in retirement (which I sort of do), then constant reinvention may just be part of the process and I should only be bothered if ever feel the need to stop changing things. Whether thinking you have reached perfection or deciding that life does not warrant constant improvement or upgrade, those are both bad places to be in and should not be a destination unto themselves. But sometimes shit just isn’t working as planned or doesn’t hold up the way you had hoped and it bothers you. I would say that the “bothers me” causation is pretty powerful in my gardening motivation. Once in a while Kim mentions something that bothers her in the garden, and I will admit that it usually has a 50/50 chance of offending my gardening aesthetic sensibilities. It’s not like I’m a slothful gardener who isn’t always out improving the grounds. But I usually take a deep breath and remember that Kim taking an interest in the garden is a good thing and something I would be upset about if she didn’t do. I know we all wish everyone thought exactly like us all the time, but diversity really is an additive and most often Kim’s thoughts lead me to a better garden.

One of the first and best things we did when we first moved here was to rearrange the area around the garage…all three sides (obviously not including the driveway side….though we addressed that too with the shadesail that has served us so very well). The prior owners planted citrus trees between the house and garage and made that space the garbage bin area. That made no sense to us it’s a highly visible area that almost all visitors see. It’s also where Kim generally takes the dog (Cecil, Betty and Buddy) out to pee. Garbage cans attract critters, cause smells in warm weather and generally look far too workaday to be pretty. The far eastern side of the garage and the back side seemed far better for the garbage cans, but that was significantly overgrown. Kim hated that area and I certainly didn’t want to go back into what I considered rattlesnake alley (I had my first rattler encounter back in those wilds). So, I cleared out ten feet or so all around those sides and hardscaped them with pea gravel and large pavers. It’s since become one of Kim’s favorite areas despite the existence of the garbage cans (actually, as everyone in the world knows, they are no longer cans, but High-density polyethylene or polypropylene) in grey, blue (recycle) or green (green waste).

But the original garbage area is the real prize of that effort. I turned it into the Cecil Garden and put in a fountain (renovated once, so far, to a 1400 pound basalt column that is NEVER going anywhere even if it stops being a fountain for some reason). I have my bonsai garden there against the large downhill boulders. I also put in a wooden arbor that is nicely covered in flowering vines and gives it an English Garden feel that looks out at the sunset over the ocean (it was the subject of a Holiday Card a few years ago). The fruit trees are still there, but they are no longer the dominant theme they once were. But what does one do with the side of a garage?

Luckily, the builder of this house chose to put in a large picture window on that western side of the garage, next to a side door. It makes perfect sense, but I still suspect he had an extra unused window and installed it there just for the hell if it. That breaks up the monolith of the wall, but then came our solar installation. When Baker Electric put in the two Tesla batteries, they put them on that side of the garage, probably because that’s where the breaker box and the garbage bins were. That meant they also put in heavy-duty industrial-grade circuitry and control boxes that made that side of the garage look like the nuclear power plant in a submarine. That was all before the Cecil Garden concept, so I must admit to being somewhat oblivious to the resultant aesthetic at the time. Once installed and once I got to work building a garden, I had to deal with the submarine in some manner.

I came up with the idea of trellises. But I knew that access to the panel boxes, while not a regular need, would sooner or later come into play. So, rather than a permanent installation on either side of the door and window, I bought two bamboo trellises with attached planter boxes at the bottom. I’ve learned that things bought for the garden need to be particularly sturdy because nature and the elements are a bitch out there. Sure enough, before too long, those trellises, while covered in vines and flowers, has deteriorated to the point of falling apart. About 18 months ago I upgraded to a better and sturdier version of the same sort of trellis cum planter arrangement in more solid wood. The same thing happened. The vines grew and flowers flourished, but the wood has disintegrated. Hmm. Nature prevails and what man constructs falls apart. Where have I heard that thought before?

So, this time I am going to get it right. To begin with, the wooden arbor is enough clinging flowering vines for the area. I need to ditch that concept since those damn vines go everywhere when you’re not watching them every minute. Secondly, I need MUCH more rugged planter boxes. And third, I need to detach the trellis from the planter boxes in such a way as to allow panel access without having to move those presumably sturdier planters. As I looked for resin planters, I stumbled on a set of Corten planters. Corten steel (also called weathering steel) is a special type of steel alloy that’s designed to rust in a controlled, protective way. When exposed to weather, Corten steel develops a stable, rust-colored outer layer (patina) that actually protects the steel underneath from further corrosion. It contains small amounts of copper, chromium, nickel, and phosphorus added to regular steel, which give it this self-protecting property. I’ve used it before in my patio garden edging. The distinctive orange-brown, rusty patina gives it a warm, earthy aesthetic that has a modern industrial yet organic look that weathers gracefully over time. For the trellises, good old Home Depot came through with a simple white vinyl version that is the right size to cover the panels and stand behind the planters so that they and they alone can be moved for panel access when needed. On them, I will be placing some hanging planters to substitute for the spreading flowered vines.

I assembled the very heavy Corten planters yesterday (a more serious undertaking requiring power tools) and will receive and assemble the trellises and hanging planters today and tomorrow. That will leave the weekend for plant selection and final installation. I’m hoping that this time I’m getting it right.