Fiction/Humor Memoir Retirement

Get Away Day

Get Away Day

In this year of broken plays, where whatever we were all planning to do, we have had to cancel, postpone or modify, Kim and I proposed to our dear friends Frank and Lydia a celebratory road trip to the Columbia Gorge. We proposed it for the second half of summer, feeling that by that time we would have this nasty Coronavirus thing, whatever it turned out to be, well under control as a state, as a country and as a world. Of course, no one could fully anticipate or appreciate the path that the Coronavirus pandemic would take, but the idea was to cut it a wide berth for scheduling purposes and we would likely be fine as a result. At the same time as this planning was underway, we also had an August motorcycle ride planned for Northern Spain and Portugal. Some time in April our riding group and ride organizers decided that things were looking sketchy in Europe (the pandemic was raging in Italy at the time and was only just starting to touch Spain), so we cancelled that ride as well. That cancellation surprised me at the time because it seemed awfully far out for such a draconian move, but everyone thinks differently about these things and there was no reason for discomfort. One of the driving forces was that bookings in a popular spot like the Pyrenees was difficult enough with deposit money likely to be lost if we didn’t cancel sooner rather than later. Shortly afterwards as the virus spread strongly into Spain, it looked like it had been a wise decision.

What was a bit harder to reconcile was the notion that we had better just plan on a redo of the ride a whole year out in 2021. The idea of Re planning it for the Fall did not appeal to people, less because of other Fall conflicts and more because people were getting tired in all corners of their lives planning, changing and replanning various events. The thinking was that it was better to wait and do it when the probability of success was much greater. I remember thinking that the Fall seemed far enough away, but others, generally more conservative than I am (I can now definitively say that almost everyone is more conservative than I am), felt it was better to plan for 2021.

As I sit here in late July, feeling the end of summer start to curl up its leaf edges at me, I don’t sense that there would have been less uncertainty in the Fall, but rather, perhaps, more. Strangely enough, Europe seems to have more certainty and we in the United States have far less. Some is due to the idiocy underway in the White House, some is due to the silly politicization of the pandemic and the various therapeutics and preventatives (face masks being the most obvious example), and some is due to the medical state of the spread and infection rate and mortality of the virus. I saw a map of that again this morning that clearly shows the central nexus of virus virility being in the Southeastern states ranging west to and through Texas (especially Eastern Texas, which is, coincidentally getting pummeled again by yet another drenching hurricane…thank you Climate Change). The Western states of Arizona, California, Oregon and Washington are not as subdued as the Northeast, but seem to have momentarily abated in their surge of infections. Add to this the fact that we are all learning in our own ways to live with the virus in whatever way and with whatever risks we feel we should. That has both good and bad aspects to it, and it is less about reduced uncertainty than it is about learning to live with uncertainty.

So, departure day for our road trip is set for tomorrow. Naturally, the world is doing what it always does, Coronavirus notwithstanding. It is creating a vortex of events and circumstances to remind me in its “Not so fast, Abernathy” way, that there are more important things to the Universe than our little road trip. To begin with, let’s get serious for a moment; being on the road for ten days is almost not even a speed bump in today’s hyper-connected world. I will have full access to MSNBC live via Sirius radio for starters. Then I will have full two-phone cellular with Bluetooth so that I can take or make any call I need to from the driver’s seat, with or without pulling over to do it. Every single place where we are staying will have excellent WiFi since broadband ubiquity is now fairly universal to even the most remote spots of the world. I can’t swear that that the old, “I’ll be at the bottom of the Grand Canyon” warning isn’t still problematic for connectivity, but almost everywhere else is fully wired and thus, wirelessly enabled.

None of that stops the Universe from throwing things on my plate just to fuck with me the day before a trip. This is the day that the roofing dudes started jackhammering my roof over my office to remove all the 20-year-old stuff that is being replaced by the new insulation and roofing. The good news is that they know the house already and need little from me other than the theft of my peace and quiet on get-away day. The banging and the demolition noises are only mildly disturbing since I know I have chosen the best flat-roof specialists in San Diego County. No Angie’s List cheapo’s for me. These are the real deal roofers. Of course, the construction coordinator, Monte, has assured me that the job was a 7-8 working day affair and the roofing supervisor this morning tells me that with the reduced team size he has, there is no way he will be done in less than two weeks. C’est la guerre.

On the work front we have a big presentation, initially planned for early July, which has had to slide to July 30th (based only on my insistence that it could NOT be slid further into August under any circumstance). That means I will be doing a global Zoom call (or its equivalent) on Thursday from Sonoma. At least it is planned for a time in Scotland that is 7am in Sonoma and I can do it in relative quiet at a place I know has good WiFi. That does not prevent me from having a list of a dozen things to check off today with three or four people. Luckily, my son has produced the video exactly on time and in the form requested so the product is perfect. That only leaves the logistics of getting everyone to the party and then have ING the party scripted to a fine point so that the 100+ people on the webinar are impressed versus feeling like we screwed up the little things so how can we be trusted with the big things.

In addition, yesterday, my expert witness case came alive with an expectation that they will need me to give testimony to an arbitration panel on August 4th (or maybe the 3rd). That is about a two hour affair which will require strong WiFi since it too will be a Zoomathon. I do not know if the hearing is planned for L.A., Kansas CIty or NYC (could be any based on my experience with this case) and thus, I do not know my logistical constraints and exactly how I will coordinate my fellow road trippers. I have told them I can do any two hours they want but that I am in the most remote part of Oregon and Northern California those days, so I need advance notice and certainty. Then I can let my fellow travelers go do as they please and I will drive to catch up as needed.

These things are just on top of the normal instructions to Handy Brad about what he will do over the ten days, the cleaning crew (who Ill only come the day before we return), and our houseguest, who is tasked to watering our newly planted garden twice per day for exacting amounts of time.

Now that I am almost through my get away day, I think I need a vacation from preparing for my vacation during my extended quasi-retirement vacation, during the Coronavirus lockdown-sort-of-hiatus vacation. I am now officially looking forward to my return from vacation so I can rest up and get back into my routine.