Geeks to the Rescue
Kim’s ten-year-old desktop computer just died. SHe made an appointment with the Best Buy Geek Squad to come and fix it. While there are probably many different and better IT service providers, I can’t name another one that is as ubiquitous and branded as the Geek Squad. Therefore, she had the resident Geek appointment for this afternoon. Apparently Best Buy has my name on the account so the contact outreach came to me in advance of the repair visit. When the phone rang yesterday, the opening salvo was, “Hello, this is Agent Danzinger speaking…”. After my heart skipped a few beats, he went on, “I’m with the Geek Squad from Best Buy and I will be coming over tomorrow for your service appointment.” My heart regained sinus rhythm. He went on to ask if I or any resident of my household had COVID symptoms, to which I responded in the negative. He then advised me that the same was true for him and that unless the situation changed in the next twenty-four hours, he would see us the next afternoon. He then asked if I could explain the problem we were having. I said that it was my wife’s computer and all I knew was that it had frozen up on a blue screen and she had put a towel over it since she couldn’t get it to turn off. That was met with a somewhat judgmental-sounding “Hmmmm.”
When Agent Danzinger arrived today at the front door he was a 5’10”, 240 pound guy with a black Best Buy polo shirt that said “Jon” in script, black cargo shorts, a pair of black sneakers and white ped socks. He had on a black mask, blue rubber gloves and blue Tyvex booties over his shoes. He had short cropped hair with a three-day beard under his mask. He was quite a sight. He asked Kim to take him to the offending machine. In less than ten minutes he and Kim came walking back out into the living room with him carrying the computer desktop CPU cradled in his arms. When I asked what was up, Agent Danzinger said that the CPU was “toast” and that he was merely delivering it to Kim’s car to help her out since he was not allowed to put the CPU into his truck since it contained potentially private information on the hard drive. I said that given the age of the unit we would likely just buy her a new laptop to replace it, whereupon she squawked that she had “important stuff like memos” on the machine in Agent Danzinger’s arms. I said that I was sure that if we bought a new computer for her at Best Buy they would be glad to port the data onto her new computer. Agent Danzinger, sensing a new computer purchase referral, nodded enthusiastically and said that if we were sure that was what we wanted, he could take the CPU out to his truck, leaving the door open so I could watch him the whole time from my sofa seat in the living room. He would then remove the memory drive units from the CPU and return those smaller items to Kim to make her visit to Best Buy that much easier. Then, he explained, he would be allowed to dispose of or recycle the CPU box since the memory units had been removed. Phew, the relief in the room was palpable.
Agent Danzinger then suggested that he had a wonderful deal for us. The normal Geek Squad service visit fee was $99, but if we were going to buy a computer at Best Buy that afternoon and ask that they port the data, rather than pay them the $99 fee to do that (Agent Danzinger explained that he used to be an in-store service manager for Best Buy and had been promoted to Field Agent), if we bought an annual household service contract for $99 for year one ($199/year thereafter, but fully cancelable if we did not find value in a second year arrangement), he would only have to charge us $49 for the service visit for a total bill of $149 (not sure how I lost the extra dollar, but that’s small beer in high finance like this). He proudly proclaimed that we would save $50 on day one AND have one year’s coverage of ALL of our household computers that would entitle us to limitless $49 visits, including setting up the newly purchased laptop and connecting it to the larger display screen Kim preferred. I asked why that should take more than plugging in a cable and he wiggled his eyebrows over that black mask and knew then that he was not dealing with a hayseed. He said, “ah, yes, so long as you have an HDMI cable.” He immediately glanced at our big screen TV and the equipment cabinet and said, but I guess you probably knew that and furthermore chuckled, “and you probably have and extra one right in there, don’t you?” We had bonded.
He felt the need to deploy the fullness of his “Closing the Sale” chapter from his Best Buy sales manual, so he went on to tell me that this service contract would cover all manner of household audio-visual work including discounts on home theater installation, replacing in-wall speakers and fixing TV remotes. He then said it covered car audio installation, but that I probably didn’t need that. He proved his capabilities in the art of observation by telling me that he had seen out two cars (the garage was open) and while he didn’t mention them by brand, he was sure that the Tesla X and the Mercedes GLS450 had excellent audio system already factory-installed, but that I should be aware of the fullness of their service nonetheless. Without so much as looking towards me, Kim just blurted out that we would take the service contract arrangement. I might have tried to get HVAC and refrigeration services included, but what was done was done and we were signed up for the service contract (what’s another auto-renewable service agreement that will keep piling up monthly and annual charges to my American Express card, right?) and we had an appointment at Best Buy to go buy and service a new laptop. Agent Danzinger even recommended a model and said that he personally uses an HP Envy, which retails for $849 (Best Buy is apparently a very big believer in price-point marketing). He made sure we knew that there were cheaper models available, but that he didn’t recommend them. There were also more expensive ones, but his Akron, Ohio roots made him feel that they were wasteful extravagances and that unless Kim was into gaming (which he admitted, he himself was), this would be all the power she would need in a machine and the memory drive was solid state and did not have the moving disk apparatus that larger drives have (those apparently always more subject to breakage according the the Agent).
It is a nice warm feeling that since the Geek Squad has come to the rescue, our home is now safe from Russian hackers and all the other cyber-security threats that plague our nation. A ll that for only $99 for the first year.