Facial Hair
Facial hair is a bigger deal than many people realize. I recall in all my travels in Saudi Arabia that the way the supreme ruler, the King, keeps his facial hair sets the tone for the rest of the nation. Men across the Kingdom, out of respect for their sovereign, wear their facial hair in a similar manner. In other countries, particularly the “Stans” of the steppes of middle Eurasia, a man’s virility and gravitas are a direct function of the strength of his moustache.
I have read articles about the psychological impact of facial hair, or, more specifically, changes to one’s facial hair. It is suggested that men change their facial hair when there is a deeper-seated change afoot. I guess that means when a man is feeling his oats in mid-life, he grows a moustache or beard. The implication is that he is changing himself, his look, his attitudes. I suppose that it must follow that disposing of facial hair is some sort of sign that a man has shed his inner demons and is prepared to conform.
The real question needs to be, what is conformity with regard to facial hair? I would love to see a study of facial hair over the ages and figure out how much of recorded time followed one convention (no beard) versus another (full beard). Then I would like the refinement to understand when conventions of a partial facial hair configuration are in vogue. There is mustache only, sideburns (medium to mutton-chops), goatee, soul patch and beard only (chin strap). I believe that more or less covers the options other than the various forms of moustaches (the Adolf, the Tom Sellek, the Fu-Man-Choo, the Clark Gable, the Salvador Dali, etc.)
The most recent manifestation, which I will call the George Michael look is the three-day growth or stubble look. In some ways this is the most “manly” look because it gives the distinct impression of casual non-conformity. It sends off the very clear “I don’t give a fuck” message. While we all know that it may just be laziness, the backstop of being cool and casual gives laziness cover.
The most interesting aspect of growing facial hair is the reaction it elicits from others. In general, I find men are usually more negative about new facial hair while women are more positive. I find that easy to explain. Women are drawn to signals of masculinity and virility. Men feel like they have just been mounted or pissed on. It evokes a desire to prove they can grow as manly a beard if they wanted.
I also find it interesting the way men’s beards change over their life. My college roommate couldn’t grow facial hair to save his life for most of his youth. Now in his older age he sports what I call alternately a Smith Brothers or ZZ Top beard that is extraordinarily long and pronounced. Of course, in today’s cultural language, that is very hip. He is hip, where in college he was scraggly at best.
My youngest son, whose mother is of English/Irish descent, has a reddish beard even though his hair is brown. Coloration is also interesting. I myself now have a mostly white beard. When I had a beard twenty years ago it was dark brown. Then when I had it ten years ago I shaved it off because with its grey and white parts I felt it made me look older. Now that it’s white, I find it comforting and distinguished. What’s that all about?
Are beards a way to hide things? I have a pronounced double chin. I do feel that a beard hides that if the beard is long enough. It keeps the contours of cheeks and chins from being so pronounced. That is, unless you cut it short, in which case it tends to highlight those same contours and makes it easier for everyone to see your facial shape flaws. I guess a beard hides moles, acne scars and funny little things like dimples, but I am uncertain whether anyone wears one for that reason.
I had a friend who was in Vietnam and was injured by a landmine that blew up one side of his face. He wore a pair of heavy black glasses even though he didn’t need visual correction. The glasses caused people who looked at him to make him look normal and symmetrical. When he took the glasses off it was amazing to see the distortion in his face suddenly become noticeable. I am impressed by the fact that someone realized how much a symmetrical pair of glasses could help his deformity disappear. I’m sure beards could be used for the same or even greater effect.
When I think about the menfolk of my family, it turns our we all sport facial hair. In fairness, I am the oldest generation, the older one having passed on without noticeable facial hair. But in my cohort of five, my four brothers-in-law are four with beards of some form with three being full beards and one who varies from soul patch to moustache and soul patch to goatee. Of the younger generation, there are two sons, four nephews, two nephews-in-law and three cousins. The three cousins are outliers and have no facial hair. All the rest have beards with approximately half full beards and half goatees. Of note is that if you chronologize you go from no facial hair to half facial hair to full facial hair as you go down the generational cohorts.
If you assume that each generation seeks to distance itself from its parents (let’s assume that is subconscious), that would all imply that my children’s children will be clean-shaven to differentiate themselves from my children. Of course, that assumes they keep their beards throughout their lives, which is not a given. I know my perspective on facial hair has changed as I’ve aged and, indeed, changed several times.
I don’t mean to ignore women in this discussion because God knows, some women must worry about facial hair as well. My favorite is what I think of as the Tula (from My Big Fat Greek Wedding) program, which involves a pair of tweezers and a fine eye.
My guess is that there are few features of man that will get more attention and speak louder in different ways than their facial hair. I imagine there are as many interpretations as there are hairs on their face. I will end with an image from the out-of-favor Bill Cosby. In one of his early recordings, he described his amazement in looking into the mirror in the morning as he reached adulthood. “And there it was, little tiny hairs, growing out my face!”
Dear LR,
I am here to pontificate again. You should really screen who you let subscribe to your post more carefully. I can sometimes be too self effacing though I actually believe my contributions are cogent and reasonable, so bear with me. I throw my humor in for free and to move the narrative along in my own fashion.
On to facial hair, off with facial hair and all points in between. I am going to add to the basic premise the hair on top (or not) of our heads. When I was growing up I couldn’t comb my hair until I was ten or eleven. That was because my father gave my older brother and I our haircuts. He used a Wahl clippers with the shortest ‘cow catcher’ attachment in the box. Quick and easy with little room for error or contour either. I later dubbed it the Tretorn tennis ball cut. I finally got him to allow me to grow my hair longer and a have barber cut it. My brother was in high school by then and benefited also. He still owes me a thank you.
This was in the early sixties and who knew how much of a statement hair would become. I used to tell my employees that I had had my hair longer than they ever did and shorter too. Since shaving of heads came into vogue the second part of that statement has become untrue. But wearing it bellow my shoulders was to show solidarity against the establishment and not feed my ego. It had the plus of bugging my parents, though also the negative of getting knotted up while I was riding my motorcycle.
I was blonde then and, though they said blondes had more fun, blondes growing facial hair is delayed a few years. My first mustache was during my sophomore year in college. It came in well even if I do say so myself. The next year it morphed into a Fu-man-chu which lasted until is saw a picture of myself and I thought I looked like the (then) stereotypical hit-man. I kept my ‘stache’ right through the first year I was married. Then, on a whim and not informing my wife ahead of time, I shaved it off to see what my original face looked like. When I came into the room my wife was in, she showed her approval by laughing at me for an hour! She said my voice was the same but my upper lip looked a mile wide. I found her reaction humorous too and joined in laughing. Years later I did the same thing to the whole family. I left them at the dinner table after our meal and went and shaved the full beard I had for years. I came back and ‘shock and awed’ them with my new look. It was fun. Over the years I have grown full beards and mustaches and disposed of them whenever I felt like it. Was it due to changes in my mood, security/insecurity issues, or monsters from the Id ? I honestly can’t say. Sometimes I got tired of shaving and I grew a beard and then I would get tired of the trimming it so off it went. One beard left because I was holding my oldest son using my forearm for him to sit on. He was wiggling and started to fall backwards but saved himself by grabbing my beard. It worked for him but my cheek could have done without it. That same son was blonde but from the start his facial hair stubble was like iron. To those who know him this nonconformity fits him to a T. Once, while he was changing jobs from one bank to another, he went to the interview clean-shaved and showed up for work two weeks later with a beard. It didn’t matter to them and he still has it. Last year he decided to let his hair grow for the entire year. You have to love him, though he is an enigma.
I never gave much thought to the various connotations that you have ascribed to facial hair from the introspective angle. To me it is all a personal choice. Not my problem that someone does or doesn’t shave. I will admit to looking at others with an eye as to whether the style is working for them. However I also know that many women have strong feelings about facial hair on men. Most reactions that I have heard are on the negative side. Maybe they were scared by an inchworm when they were younger. As Kurt Vonnegut wrote,’so it goes’.
I have meandered through the topic and am left where I started…… To shave or not to shave, that is the question! I bet I know which side King Gillette would be on.
Sincerely, A Vested In This Topic Lonny