Empty Spaces
Today I am sitting in my office overlooking New York Harbor for the last time. Next we will all crowd into a space one-third this size on the darker, less impressive side of our floor. This is space we had previously relegated to storage and spare offices and the occasional outcast who needed temporary office space. Now it will be home to our little venture. Truth be told, it is more like the cost-constrained venture environment we should have always had, but it’s not what I inherited and until recently there was no easy way to sublet our space. We now have a floor neighbor that seems to be on a roll and needs expansion room desperately. They are supposedly a modular construction company and judging from the beautiful Asian artwork and the young, mostly-Asian staff, they are a beneficiary of the 6% growth-rate China miracle that is well off its historic 9% growth path, but well above the U.S. economy’s 2.3% growth trajectory.
My personal effects are all at my apartment, which is, as of 7:30am this morning, under assault by fifteen off-duty firemen who Kim regularly hires to execute our moves. I plan to hunker down here in the calm before the moving storm and let the whirlwind at home and the oncoming whirlwind here in the office blow me into the Holiday Inn Express down the block some time over the weekend. Luckily, I care not about the Super Bowl, so where I spend Sunday is inconsequential to me. My kids are getting my three big flat-screen TV’s, so there won’t be anything other than the hotel room TV on which to watch anything anyway. I will come into the office on Monday and we will have a full house with eleven people occupying space that heretofore two or three inhabited. I have asked that tape be put on the floor where the new separating wall will go so that we can properly simulate the sardine can for ourselves. Luckily, Monday is a sort of stress test in that come Tuesday there will likely be only five or six there (I will be on a plane to San Diego) and on other days as few as two or three. It really should suffice and I’ve heard a few people say they think it will be better culturally for us. I’ve lived the start-up life in the sardine can before and I tend to agree it is a good culture-builder for people.
There is a cleanness associated with offices devoid of artifacts and clutter and as I walk past these spaces here I sense more calmness in them than agitation over the change in process. Bare walls are a bit too severe, but bare desk, credenza and bookshelf surfaces look bold and ready for the future. I suspect I will get a chance to glimpse the emptiness of our apartment on Monday after the movers have taken away all the furniture and boxes. I equally suspect that the apartment will be anything but empty tonight when I return from my spic and span office. As I have mentioned, I have moved many times both in business and life and change simply doesn’t faze me the way it does some people. I use all the standard tricks of never looking back and always looking forward. I regret and bemoan nothing from the past and always anticipate the best in the future. It’s the only way to survive and, if you’re lucky, thrive.
Life has its empty space moments and this is one of them for me. I imagine Kim feels the same way. She was doing one last show on Saturday at the Laurie Beechman Theater, but it got cancelled because her partner Lennie is on the cusp of a death in his immediate family. This has left a bit of a hole in Lennie’s heart and it has left a bit of a hole in Kim’s agenda. Neither seems particularly unwelcome given the circumstances, but both give pause for reflection and the Laurie Beechman Theater, unless it is very nimble in a booking sense will be another empty space this weekend. The good news is the show must go on and when Kim told me she was rehearsing yesterday I questioned her about that, given the cancellation. She reminded me that she and Lennie are going on the road to Wabash, Indiana with the show in March and they needed to stay sharp. That is a good attitude and serves her well from both a performance preparation standpoint and an overall attitudinal standpoint at this moment of transition.
People are often afraid of the future, but when you think about it, the future is all we have that is tangible. Some might say there are memories of the past and there is the all-important present, but I don’t find either to be something to lean on too much. The past and its memories are sweet and joyful. They are the songs of our heart and they are with us always, which is good as a foundation on which to build. The present is all-consuming in the moment and it does and should command the biggest part of our mindshare. Some say it is everything, dogs will tell you it is the only thing, but thinking people know it is a huge but not solitary part of life. The icing that goes on life, the butter on the bread, is our hopes and dreams for the future. I have recognized for some time that the thing that keeps me going through thick and thin are the things I position in my life to which I look forward. Sometimes it’s as simple as a movie or a meal. Sometimes it’s a trip or visit, short or long. Sometimes it’s a celebration or blessed event. And sometimes, it’s a reason for peace and rest. I have all four of these things to look forward to in life and I try to add to them every day. Hopes and dreams needn’t be grand to serve their purpose, they just need to be present in our lives and sufficient to get us to the next day, hopefully with a broad smile on our face.
There is no such thing as an empty space in your life if you are wise enough to fill it with your hopes and dreams. My current inventory of hopes and dreams are as follow (in no particular order):
- That my children and family find happiness in their work and their lives and that I continue to help them find that.
- My extraordinary and lovely wife stay healthy and tolerant of me and that she feel fulfilled in her mission to fill the world with love and song.
- That I find fulfilling work that excites me and motivates me to rise and shine each morning.
- That my passions remain bright and the roads inviting to me.
- That our nation moves on from this evil chapter or Trump and heals its wounds.
- That the world move forward into greater enlightenment towards mankind and avoids the darkness of self-interest.
Amen.
I found this entry heart-warming. Thank you.
Thanks