Like most large families that gather at the holidays, over the years, we have tried every imaginable configuration of gift-giving. Many families go with the “kids only” approach that suggests that adults need not get presents and that Christmas is for children. I’m not sure if we ever tried that, but if we did it either got immediately breached or quickly discarded mostly because Mrs. Claus (a.k.a. Kim) vetoed it based on her passion for year-long Christmas shopping for everyone she knows. The truth is that everyone really appreciates and look forward to our annual gift extravaganza set in our living room with presents clustered around our tin Mexican Christmas tree and now our bevy of West Elm green and white fanfolded paper Christmas trees. It’s basically a fun madhouse scene with a half a dozen or more small children ripping open presents with glee and another dozen or more adults sitting around patiently opening their gifts, usually working hard to preserve the fancy ribbons, bows, and wrapping paper.
This year, for one reason or another, Kim has declared that we were going with the Secret Santa program. She curated the secret Santa exchange list and kept it to herself and added the extra theme of saying that everyone had to purchase their gifts for their designated receiver at a local Christmas market. At least four people in the group, knowing that she and I were doing a European Christmas markets tour in late November and early December, naturally asked if she would just pick up something for their Secret Santa for them while she was at the Christmas market. Others complained that there were no Christmas markets near them or that they didn’t habituate those Christmas markets. Still others secretly snickered and said to one another, “How is she ever going to know if we just buy this on Amazon?” Whatever the case, it all served the underlying purpose, which was to create a sense of holiday fun for all those involved. Everyone in the group understands that we do this to honor Kim and her love for the season and the pleasure she derives from putting on a fantastic Christmas for everyone. In fact, she puts on two fantastic Christmases for everyone because we do this for the gathering of my children and grandchildren in New York City at the early part of the month and our second gathering on Christmas here on our hilltop for any and all of her family and my family that are available to join in. I think it’s fair to say that it’s the highlight of the season for almost everybody on either coast….about 50 in total. As Kim and I like to say, we only have so many Christmases and we really are determined to make the most of them.
We are all far too affluent, and none of us, including the children need more stuff in our lives, but we all need more fun and loving environments like what we get from our Christmas gatherings. Any secret Santa on this list could easily say what in the world can I get for (Fill in the blank) that here she doesn’t already have or couldn’t buy for themselves? The obvious answer is nothing, but the challenge is to find something that will be at least momentarily appreciated and be unique enough to show some degree of thought put into its purchase. I will say that yesterday‘s gift exchange showed a great deal of both thought and creativity on the part of most of the secret Santa. In some ways, I was the lamest one in the group since I let Kim purchase my secret Santa gift for my recipient, which happened to be niece-in-law Haj. I had to pretend that I remembered who my secret Santa recipient was and furthermore had to pretend that I knew that Kim had bought her a lovely Scottish sugar and creamer set made of artisanal pottery. On the receiving end, my nephew, Alex got me a wonderful gift that both surprised and pleased me. He got me an 8 x 10 canvas portrait of me dressed in regal Roman emperor clothing, looking like Julius Caesar. My face had been photoshopped (or more likely AI-ed) into the scene with perfection, so it looked like a picture one would get taken in costume in a photo gallery that specialized in costuming. For some reason, the image really tickled my fancy, not because it portrayed me in some royal elegance and not because I was so impressed by the technology, but rather, because it was just an unexpected and physical gift that was so personalized, so professionally done and so…unexpected.
I was so pleased with the image that I texted it around to various friends. One of them, who is very much into the whole photoshopping arena got inspired by the image and took her husband’s face and found whatever AI program she uses to do exactly the same thing with an almost identical Roman emperor costume, a Lord Nelson costume, a King Henry VIII costume, a picture of Babe Ruth and the famous picture of Douglass MacArthur striding up onto the beach in the Philippines. That put into perspective just how easy it is in this day and age to produce these sorts of fake images since she did all that in about a few hours from when I sent her my Roman Emperor image. We live in fast and furious times when what you see isn’t often what you really get. I’m not denigrating any of that, but I am quite taken aback by it all. For some reason, it all takes nothing away from my great pleasure with my Emperor Rich portrait, which I have decided to hang on a small spot on my dressing room wall so that I can look at it every morning while I’m getting ready for my day. Maybe its the connection to my Roman heritage. Maybe its my affinity for ancient history and the artifacts attached thereto. Maybe its about my self image. Or maybe its just the fun I derive from knowing that, as much as my kids and family enjoy making fun of me as the titular head of the family, I do garner some degree of respect for the care and feeding I provide my family.
I will have to ask my friend what program she used to do that superimposition because this begs me to do one more image of myself. I want to take the picture of Auda abu Tayi (played by Anthony Quinn) from the movie Lawrence of Arabia and superimpose my face into that image. Why? Because he had that memorable line where he says, “I am a river to my people”. That is how I feel towards my family and how I want them to feel about me… less as an Emperor and more as a benign leader of the pack.The phrase has become memorable because it elegantly captures a leadership philosophy—being a conduit rather than a reservoir, serving rather than accumulating.
