Love Memoir

Driving Miss Kim

The 1989 Academy Award choice for Best Picture was a story of aging, friendship, racism and antisemitism in the socially turbulent era of WWII through the 1970’s. The Deus Ex Machina of the story is Daisy’s (Jessica Tandy) inability to drive safely after she drives her Chrysler into the neighbor’s yard, giving rise to her son Boolie (Dan Ackroyd) hiring Hoke Colburn (Morgan Freeman) to drive her wherever she needs to go. I have not driven my Ford F-150 Lightning truck into anyone’s yard lately, so Kim is not confiscating my drivers license just yet. But Kim did just faint and faceplant in the back hallway last night, so I think her license might have to get revoked (more on that episode later). In fact, I think I drive pretty damn well and don’t even mind long roadtrip driving like we did earlier this year to Oregon and, before that, Denver. As Jack Nicholson said in As Good As It Gets, “I drive like the wind!” In fact, next week we are driving up and picking up Gary and Oswaldo (who have decided they no longer like to drive long distances) in West Hollywood for a weekend Christmas Market trip to Solvang, the scene of the crime for that modern classic, Sideways. I’m not sure if we will be swilling any wine spittoons along the way, but the Christmas Market vendors had better be on high alert. So long as the car is big enough for me to be comfortable, I will drive for as long as it takes and as often as requested. But the story of Driving Miss Daisy really has nothing to do with cars or driving except as an excuse to explore the social fabric of middle America, in that case in the Deep South. I live in the Far West, where the automobile is elevated to the highest status both as a means of locomotion and a means of social climbing.

While the rest of Southern California climbs the automotive ladder of success, we are choosing to downscale. I took the first move in that direction by trading in my Tesla X, a high status new-age vehicle at the time I bought it in late 2016, for a truck. I had placed reservations a long time ago for a Tesla Cybertruck and a Ford F-150 Lightning. When Ford called me a year ago, I hit the bid, preferring not to wait with baited breath for a Cybertruck to become available. In the past year I have come to appreciate my Ford EV truck. It only cost me $58k, which is about half of the sticker price of a Cybertruck, and as Marisa Tomei said in My Cousin Vinny, it blends. I have long called Escondido The Land of the Pickup Truck. You can almost not tell the difference between the Lightning any other gas-guzzling Ford F-150. I like that. I like being an Everyman rather than someone “special”. I like it so much that instead of the 5,000 miles a year I was putting on the Tesla X, I have put on about 10,000 miles in the first year on the Lightning.

In the meantime, Kim has gotten it in her head that she wants her next car to be a Subaru. The main reason she is smitten with Subaru has to do with its socially responsible attitude of giving to dog and pet causes and all sorts of other do-good efforts. Subaru, with its historic front-wheel-drive has been a standard for practicality in the north country for many years. Then, it pivoted to being the car for the socially conscious. I think if Oregon had a state car, it would be a Subaru. We saw them everywhere up there when we visited this summer. They are to Oregon, what Teslas have become to Southern California. But for me, dumping the Mercedes GLS 450, which has been our car of choice for twenty years (we have leased 10 of them over that period), is also about trying to downsize into the mainstream. Once again, the best and biggest Subaru sells for about $53k, which is about half of what the Mercedes costs these days. The Subaru (probably the Ascent Touring model) is about as big in the front seat as the Mercedes (actually a snick bigger), so it meets my primary criteria of comfort for long drives.

When we finally run out this Mercedes lease, both Kim and I will be happy to shift our bleeding hearts into a Subaru. In the meantime, we will continue to take the Mercedes on the road and run it into the virtual ground. Technically, we are supposed to have only 60,000 miles on it when we turn it in, but I suspect we will have closer to 70,000 since we already have almost 50,000 on it now. Ever since we drove it cross-country back in 2022, we have never caught up to the mileage restrictions. Driving 2,400 miles up to Oregon and back didn’t help. Thank goodness we rented a minivan for the drive to Denver and back or that would have definitely put us over the top.

Whatever added mileage I am putting on our car and truck, I am dwindling down on my motorcycle mileage. I really only ride the R-Nine-T around the neighborhood and as much as I try to make time to do a few hour day trip on the GSA, I don’t get out on it so much any more. In the summer it seems too hot and in the winter inclement weather keeps me at home, So, I have to look for those perfect days when its not too hot and not too cold and no rain…by no means any rain.

So, last night, after a so-so Thanksgiving dinner at a very nice upscale restaurant (note to self – avoid holiday meals at restaurants that handle 850 covers in one day), I was driving Kim home in my Ford F-150 Lightning truck. After picking up Buddy from daycare, Kim started getting her usual Delhi Belly after eating due to her bariatric surgery. I’m used to that problem and it usually involves 10 minutes of groaning and perhaps even a pants opening to relieve the pressure. But this time it was different. She said she was getting hot…so hot that she started taking off her coat and clothes while I drove. Despite wanting to think that this was normal for me, I was a bit surprised. She also said she was feeling faint, which I took to be an exaggeration. In any case, I dropped her off right up at the door and told her I would get Buddy sorted out and into the house. She left all her clothes in the truck and went into the house only half clothed. I thought that was humorous, but soon changed my mind. I gathered up Buddy (who has a thing about arrivals that is hard to understand) and Kim’s stuff and went inside. That’s when I saw Kims shoes in the hall dragging into the bathroom like someone was dragging her body across the floor. She said she had passed out. As I went into the hall I saw that her broken glasses were on the runner and there was a small blood trail into the bathroom floor. It seems she had walked in and face planted (literally) in the hall. When she came out I saw that her face was badly damaged by the fall. Her nose was bloody on the bridge. Her right eye was starting to swell. Her forehead and temple were bleeding. Her lip was starting to swell. Other than that, she seemed fine.

After helping to clean up her wounds and getting her ice to reduce the swelling, we discussed going to the ER and determined that it was not Kim’s preference. By morning, that had changed as the full bloom of her facial wounds had blossomed, especially around her right eye socket and her entire chin and neck. A morning at the ER proved that Kim had given herself a concussion and broken her nose. The rest was deemed to be multiple contusions and generally there was no other damage, so the only thing to be done was to rest and allow everything to heal.

Miss Kim wont be driving her Mercedes for a few days, so I will be driving Miss Kim around as we let her wounds mend.

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