Dashing Through The Snow

Dashing Through The Snow

There is only one Thanksgiving song I think of when the season is upon us and it provides a great start to the holiday season. That is none other than that ubiquitous Jingle Bells that ranks up there with Happy Birthday as one of the best-known American songs in the world. It is supposed to be about going over the river and through the woods to Grandmother’s house we go. It was written and published by James Lord Pierpont in the mid-Nineteenth Century. Strangely and in Un-politically Correct manner, it was first sung by a black-faced minstrel performer in Boston. It is also strange that it served as BOTH a choir song for Sunday Schools and a drinking song in taverns. It was also considered the first Christmas song recording ever, even though it isn’t really a Christmas song and it went under the name One-Horse Open Sleigh. Nevertheless, Pierpont needed money and commercialized the song every and any way he could, much like what Trump has done to the presidency. He did so unabashedly by adding “It’s Christmas” at the start and end of the song even though it is rarely sung with those additions. It is perhaps one of the most parodied songs in history owing to its catchy rhythmic tune. So, in keeping with that, here is my parody for 2020:

Virus bells, Fake News smells

COVID’s here to stay

Oh, what fun it is to hide

In a makeshift outdoor cafe

Hey, virus bells, Fox News sells

COVID all the day

Oh, what fun it is to hide

In a mask with funny smells

Virus bells, ballot swells

COVID until May

Oh, what fun for him to hide

In a White House which he sells

Hey, virus bells, surge too well

It’s COVID all do say

Oh, what fun it is to hide

In an ICU that doesn’t pay

And now the recently unearthed extra verses…

A day or two ago

I tho’t I’d take a ride

And soon our Donald Trump

Was seated by my side.

Rudy gave wink

Bill Barr scrambled aside

Pompeo had to think

They’re all looking to hide

The horse was lean and lank

Miss America seemed his lot

He tried to borrow from a bank

And they said sure…errrr….NOT

Hey, virus bells, payback’s swell

It’s COVID all around

Oh, what fun it is to ride

A Trump economy… we… have… found

It’s Christmas!?