Fiction/Humor Retirement

Spilling the Dill

When I lived in Toronto, Canada for two years, I heard more Canadian colloquialisms than I remember hearing anywhere else. My time in Canada was an interesting few years that was a mixture of how to survive a remote distance existence (the kids were still in the Metro NYC area) and yet I needed to be onsite and resident in Toronto and all the other big cities in Canada (Montreal, Calgary and Vancouver, primarily, but…

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Fiction/Humor Memoir Politics

California Fix

Yesterday while Kim was going in and out of the front door with some holiday decorations, there was a sudden thump sound and she unexpectedly swore audibly. I did the usual, “Everything OK?” lazy man outreach from my chair across the room. When she said, “This thing fell down”, I had no idea what she was talking about so I decided I probably needed to get up to investigate. What had happened was that the…

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Fiction/Humor Memoir

One Degree of Separation

Back in 1997, an informal group of us at Bankers Trust got together and decided to make some venture capital investments. I could say lots of profound things about how financially savvy we all were (we actually were somewhat), but the real issue was that we were all getting paid way too much and had too much money sloshing around in our bank accounts thanks to the excessive bonus structure we enjoyed in the banking…

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Fiction/Humor Memoir Politics

Draining the Mud-puddle

Mud-puddle has always been a word or word contraction that I have always liked for some reason. It was the great novelist Sinclair Lewis, America’s first Nobel Laureate for literature as well as Pulitzer Prize writer, who won those accolades “for his vigorous and graphic art of description” when he described in his first and most famous novel, Main Street, the confines of small town American life, with its “mud–puddles and ragged weeds by the…

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Fiction/Humor Memoir

Giving Up

I surrender. I’ve tried for five years now and done everything I can to professionalize myself with regard to this task. I’ve bought the finest Italian-made tools. I’ve tried using every imaginable resource to improve my capabilities. I’ve broken the task down so that I space out my efforts and not grow weary. But I’m here to tell you after this latest bout of effort that I simply cannot clean windows well enough to justify…

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Fiction/Humor Memoir

Testing the Mettle

I know few people stronger than Joventino. If you subscribe to Instagram as I do (I am a passive watcher, not a contributor), you may have seen the short videos of the humble and modest-looking gym janitor who comes up to the beefcakes pumping the big iron. He usually acts like he just needs to clean around the equipment, but then asks if he can try lifting the monster weights they are deadlifting. They kinda…

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Fiction/Humor Memoir Politics

Halloween in America

The tradition of Halloween seems to stem mostly from Celtic sources that celebrated the remembrance of the dead and martyred, specifically those that are cast into the Christian realm of purgatory where those souls who have died in a state of grace are further cleansed before their ascension into heaven. I guess I had always thought of purgatory as a bad and restless place that you went to if you were not worthy, but it…

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Fiction/Humor Memoir

Trouser Redux

I remain a faithful reader of Letters From An American, a daily newsletter from American History Professor at Boston College, Heather Cox Richardson (HCR). Since she publishes most often at night East Coast time (she lives in Maine), I mostly read her when I wake up at night and need some soothing before going back to bed. HCR blends an historical context with her reporting of the political machinations of the day. She has published…

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Fiction/Humor Memoir

The Olive Branch

Yesterday I took delivery of a large non-fruit-bearing olive tree in a 48” square root box. It is sitting on my upper driveway, having been delivered by my friends at Javier Nursery. I used to say that Moon Valley Nurseries, the land of the fully planted multi-thousand dollar trees, was the only place that had good tree stock from which to choose, but I have changed my mind. My buddy Mike used to recommend Briggs…

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