Fiction/Humor Memoir

Unmasking Santa

About seven years ago, Kim and I were headed to a motorcycle ride that was to take us all across the mainland of Greece. In searching for the cheapest business class seat to that distant locale, I found that Turkish Airways had a great flight direct from JFK to Istanbul. From there it was a small hop to Athens. Since Kim had always wanted to go to Istanbul and I hadn’t been there for a…

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Fiction/Humor Love Memoir

Why Do We Decorate?

For several weeks now, Kim and I have had time to leisurely decorate the house for the holidays. I have gone through many different stages with regard to holiday decorations. In the mid-Nineties I can recall paying as much as $5,000 to a local decorator to decorate our ski house in Utah for the holidays season so that we could enjoy all the festive atmosphere of the holidays without having to detract from our one…

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Fiction/Humor Retirement

Spilling the Dill

When I lived in Toronto, Canada for two years, I heard more Canadian colloquialisms than I remember hearing anywhere else. My time in Canada was an interesting few years that was a mixture of how to survive a remote distance existence (the kids were still in the Metro NYC area) and yet I needed to be onsite and resident in Toronto and all the other big cities in Canada (Montreal, Calgary and Vancouver, primarily, but…

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Fiction/Humor Memoir Politics

California Fix

Yesterday while Kim was going in and out of the front door with some holiday decorations, there was a sudden thump sound and she unexpectedly swore audibly. I did the usual, “Everything OK?” lazy man outreach from my chair across the room. When she said, “This thing fell down”, I had no idea what she was talking about so I decided I probably needed to get up to investigate. What had happened was that the…

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Fiction/Humor Memoir

One Degree of Separation

Back in 1997, an informal group of us at Bankers Trust got together and decided to make some venture capital investments. I could say lots of profound things about how financially savvy we all were (we actually were somewhat), but the real issue was that we were all getting paid way too much and had too much money sloshing around in our bank accounts thanks to the excessive bonus structure we enjoyed in the banking…

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Fiction/Humor Memoir Politics

Draining the Mud-puddle

Mud-puddle has always been a word or word contraction that I have always liked for some reason. It was the great novelist Sinclair Lewis, America’s first Nobel Laureate for literature as well as Pulitzer Prize writer, who won those accolades “for his vigorous and graphic art of description” when he described in his first and most famous novel, Main Street, the confines of small town American life, with its “mud–puddles and ragged weeds by the…

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Fiction/Humor Memoir

Giving Up

I surrender. I’ve tried for five years now and done everything I can to professionalize myself with regard to this task. I’ve bought the finest Italian-made tools. I’ve tried using every imaginable resource to improve my capabilities. I’ve broken the task down so that I space out my efforts and not grow weary. But I’m here to tell you after this latest bout of effort that I simply cannot clean windows well enough to justify…

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Fiction/Humor Memoir

Testing the Mettle

I know few people stronger than Joventino. If you subscribe to Instagram as I do (I am a passive watcher, not a contributor), you may have seen the short videos of the humble and modest-looking gym janitor who comes up to the beefcakes pumping the big iron. He usually acts like he just needs to clean around the equipment, but then asks if he can try lifting the monster weights they are deadlifting. They kinda…

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