Love Memoir

Captain Redux

Captain Redux

Not so long ago I wrote a piece called Captain America that was about my plans for an upcoming transcontinental ride this summer from Des Moines back to my hillside. Everything about that ride in terms of the reasons for doing it have changed as things do, so I am finding myself in change mode. The sequence went like this: first the testimony I was to give in Des Moines has been pushed back into the Fourth or First Quarter of next year, so no need to dismount there and have my own transportation while Kim carries on westward. Something wants me to call that somewhat normal and not a particularly troubling employment redux situation.

Secondly, if that’s not necessary, do I really want to drag my motorcycle all the way across the country just so I can ride hot through the Badlands and across the wasteland of northern Nevada? Simple answer – not really. But if there’s no motorcycle to drag around, do I really want to take the trailer across the USA just to bring a few boxes of trinkets back from Ithaca when UPS, FedEx and USPS are happy to do it for me? Trailers are a pain in the butt and make a long trip much longer. Lots can go wrong and it is much, much easier without it, so why not leave it at home even though I now always get my primary car with a factory-installed hitch for just such a trip and I pay $100/month to keep that trailer nearby. So the trip, while not exactly off, is due for a significant change of plans. That sort of becomes a hobby, passion and manly pursuits redux.

This summer trip has now taken on an entirely different dimension. This is not just due to not taking the motorcycle or even the trailer, but on every single level. To begin with, while the trip’s main purpose remains to see my kids and spend some nice time with them at our place in Ithaca, that foundation has been rocked by the fact that this is our last year with the house. It reverts to the University on December 31, 2022. I could keep it another year, but that feels like prolonging the inevitable to me, so this will be the last trip to Homeward Bound for me. That alone makes it an unusual trip since I will need to dismantle any of the memorabilia from the past fifty years of my association with Ithaca and Cornell and triage it all to take, toss or give away. I plan to leave the house in tact and serviceable, which means I literally have to triage what is personal and what is generic second home infrastructure. This includes making a list of all the stuff in the and around the house that may be wanted by the kids or other interested parties. I will have most of three weeks to get this done and do it around the events of Kim’s birthday celebration, Independence Day and spending some quality time with the kids and grandkids. The non-trailer program will make the triage that much more draconian, which is probably a good thing. Call that the stuff redux program.

The second strange thing is that the normal reunion gathering by my college friends will take place not at Cornell and in Ithaca as it usually would, and will now be a weekend in the Poconos at a classmates’ lake house. For the obvious reasons, that modification seems appropriate with all the dust in the air around Cornell and Ithaca in my life. So, strange as it seems, I will arrive in Ithaca and leave Ithaca two days later to go to my reunion. I will then drive to Delaware to see my oldest son’s new home now that he has settled in after too many years in New York City. There we will see his new business, his new home and celebrate his 40th birthday a day early. When your child reaches age 40, it is hard to think of him as a child any more, so I think its fair to suggest that my parental role is also undergoing a transformation. So, the two places I spent most of my adult life, New York City and Ithaca are not the center of attention of my trip or of my sentiments any more. My kids and college friends are also modifying their relationships with me and the world I have known for so long. Let’s call that all the sentimentality redux program.

This all sounds like I have traded the Captain America program for the Captain Redux program. But here’s the thing, for every redux there is an equal or greater benefit. In fact, while we all hear the word redux and assume (at least I did) that it means reduction or something close to that, it really means a bringing back or revival of something important. I’ve been pondering this and I have a rationalization for all of this change that is being inflicted on our summer plan. The universe has always taught me that it is important not to get too attached to places and things. Attachments to people are the only things that really matter. I’m sure some people will disagree about this view, but I am the product of an upbringing brought about by my mother’s natural wanderlust and career ambitions. That took us from Venezuela to Santa Monica, back to Costa Rica and up to Wisconsin and then Maine before landing us all in the Eternal City of Rome for high school. To survive that sort of moving program, you have to stay nimble and unattached to places and things. I learned to never look back and only look forward. I learned to settle in fast and be prepared to change just when things were getting comfortable. Make plans, but don’t become hidebound over them. The best thing to take away from an episode of life is all the good things you remember and the people you meet with which you choose to stay connected.

Ithaca, Cornell and New York City are not so much a part of my future anymore, but they will always be an important part of my past and they were a great part of my past that I would not change nor do I have any regrets. I will not bemoan my loss of the Ithaca home, but herald the revival (redux?) of my future family experiences out on our hilltop and other places I may not even be able to imagine today. I am keeping all the best parts of my Cornell and Ithaca experiences with me in my heart through my friendships and memories. I will not vow never to return just as I have not vowed to stay away from New York City. My best guess is that I will take a break from both for a while and sooner or later there will be a reason to return. It would be silly to expect any other outcome.

As for avoiding the motorcycle ride west, I just did a week of riding in Utah and I will be crossing the Pyrenees in September, so I think I can skip a summer solo ride even though Captain America would give me a loud tsk for that. Instead, the good news is that I will be able to enjoy a pleasant cross-country return with my beloved Kim, seeing sights and visiting friends the way retired folks are supposed to do with their time. And the best part is that I get to do it without a damn trailer dragging behind me bouncing along the highway. This change may give me a revival of my desire to see more of this country that I have skimmed heretofore. That would make Captain Redux very happy.