Fiction/Humor Memoir

Boutique Technique

When we travel, the kind of hotels we are looking for varies with the nature of the travel. If we are doing a quick overnight at the Rome airport as we did two nights ago, we want a standard Hilton or Marriott hotel with all the basic amenities and no frills in particular. It should be standard, easy and quick to get in and out of with minimal hassle. We always want a soft bed and clean bathroom with lots of towels, but that goes without saying these days. The point is, we don’t want or need anything fancy, quirky or special. Adequate is just fine. But when we are doing a sojourn like the one we are on this week in Malta, we generally want a bit more that we can feel makes the stay extra special. We are not really beach or even pool people when we travel and we don’t really need a spa even though we have been known to use them (as we did recently in Cortona). We would like the hotel to be well located and high in service coefficient so that our stay can be comfortable and…well…special. Our stay for three days in Tuscany was part of a destination wedding plan. The physical plant was comfortable and had all the basic amenities we required. The room was also very spacious and well appointed in a traditional country Italian sort of way. Our overnight in Cortona at the Monastero di Cortona would certainly qualify as a boutique hotel stay since the small hotel right in the village in a renovated monastery was all of special, unique, convenient (as much as a steep hill town can be for us older sorts) and very high in service content. Our overnight in Orvieto at Pietra Campanam, while a bit anxious since I could not properly communicate with the hotel ahead of time, was surprisingly good in a boutique hotel sort of way. It was solidly service oriented and extremely convenient since we could literally park right outside our garden room. The room itself was pleasant and comfortable and would tick all of my requirement boxes off just fine. Even the breakfast was first rate in a country Italian sort of way. Then there was our airport Hilton stay and I must say that Hilton disappointed me. Their physical facility seemed modern enough, but the room furnishings were substandard in regard to electrical plug availability. It is extremely rare these days to not have outlets at the bedside. We had to call and ask for an extension cord just so I could use my CPAP to sleep. The bed was fine, but in general, I have to give Hilton low marks on that stay.

Our stay here in Malta is for six nights, which means we had better be happy with the hotel. I picked a small boutique hotel (9 rooms) that fit my most important criteria, which is that it have a king sized bed, something that Maltese hotels don’t seem too familiar with based on what booking.com was showing me. When we arrived yesterday, I was a little concerned because the entry was very understated. But once inside, the lobby seemed well furnished though small and the service level started off right from the get-go at high levels. We had to leave our bags since we were early, but that was to be expected. After returned from our afternoon discovery of Valletta, I was shown to our room. The biggest quirk was the part about getting to the room. We are on the third floor (4th floor to us Americans) and while they do have an elevator, the configuration of the building is such that we had to go up to the fourth floor and walk down a very winding staircase to get to our room (there are apparently only one or two rooms per floor and the other room on this floor has the elevator in it). Since I am unlikely to ever want to walk up that winding staircase to get to a downward elevator, we walk down the marble main stairs to go down to the lobby. That is all a bit more kitschy than I like, but I have decided that it is workable if not ideal.

The room itself is also quite unique. The good news is that it is large and had both a nice soft king sized bed, and also plenty of nicely warmed towels on the heated towel rack. The room is very much in keeping with the Baroque style of Valletta and it has a cool tiled floor and big windows out to the side street. The furniture is all antique and includes a piano that will never get played. The bathroom configuration is a bit unusual with the shower and a trough sink set in an area behind the bed with the toilet room (with small sink) in a separate enclosure. There is one step down to the shower/sink area, but so long as I lock that into my brain for dark night movement, I should be fine. After one night I am still here to tell you I can remember the step and have not done a header or anything untoward. There is also an old large tub in the bedroom itself, which is sort of part of the quirky nature of the place. I suspect that will go the way of the piano for us…nice to look at, but unlikely to see any use during our stay. There is a large armoire that could have a few more drawers or shelves in it, but is otherwise just right for a six-night stay for my clothes. The big issue of concern was the apparent lack of plugs near the bed. I called the front desk and the woman came up to the room and showed us that there were indeed plugs, but they were underneath the bedside tables. That puts the Casa Ellul boutique hotel one significant step ahead of Hilton on that front. There is a small minibar fridge and a decent-sized flat TV over the piano…one that actually works even though it takes two remotes to do so. This all makes for a reasonable accommodation for our six day stay.

The real test will come at the end of the six nights. If the inconvenient room location (Winding stairs etc.) prove to be no problem, then the rest of the facility will be fine. The room is quirky but nice and has all the necessities. After one night I can say it is comfortable and works for us (the shower was just right). If the whole elevator and winding stair program gets very old, then it will have proven overall to be less than ideal. The real test would be whether I would book here again. Let’s see how my overall boutique technique works out.

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