Be Useful
I have just watched the three-part Netflix series called Arnold about the life of Arnold Schwarzenegger. It was recommended to me by my oldest son Roger, who has always had a thing about pro wrestlers, and, I guess, guys like Arnold that build themselves up physically. I found it a very interesting biopic. There were three episodes, one for his early life and bodybuilding career (he was Mr. Universe four times and Mr. Olympia seven times), one about his acting career (he has 76 acting credits and such big box office successes as Conan the Barbarian, the Terminator series, Commando and Last Action Hero), and then his political career, which was all about his seven hears as Governor of California. The really interesting films which are really all about his first career as a bodybuilder are Stay Hungry and Pumping Iron. During the candid interviews with Arnold over the course of this series, he comes across as very genuine and quite likable. The thing he feels that his father taught him more than anything else is his lesson that he should always be useful. I like that. It’s very basic, but equally very valid.
Being useful seems like an obvious commandment, but I fear that as more and more people retire, we may well find that more and more unproductive older adults will present not just an economic drag and savings depletion drag, but also an increased medical burden on a collective national basis, if not in a physical debilitation sense, then in a mental debilitation sense. I am very serious about this. I am living through a retirement right now and it is a palpable concern, and if I feel it, I suspect that others with less gumption feel it as well. I am convinced that happiness is not derived from playing golf or pickleball three times a week, or even necessarily from spending time in the garden, as I enjoy doing. None of this is to say that doing those things is wrong or bad, quite the contrary, but just doing that simply may not be enough to give you a sense of purpose.
There are many people who have the superficial misfortune to be primary caregivers to loved ones that need help in their dotage and/or disability. I’m sure that on the surface they all wish this was not so. First and foremost, I’m sure they wish the disability that gives rise to the need did not exist for the benefit of their charge. While I trust that sentiment entirely, I don’t really trust the sense that they wish they didn’t have to play the caretaker role. In this day and age, there are enough social services that anyone who really doesn’t want the role can find some or complete relief from this obligation, conscience or guilt notwithstanding. I am of the opinion that most caregivers are, first and foremost, cut from that cloth that makes them natural caregivers. Then, I believe they subconsciously like having a purpose that is as pervasive as it clearly is if their charge is a needy as is often the case. Such is the need for a sense of purpose.
As evidence that this sense of purpose is a significant need among the retired, I answered a quiz today in the Washington Post which defined several likely paths for fulfillment as we age. It was not so much stated as a quiz for the retired, per se, but when I worked through the seven questions, it was clear that this was meant for people of more advanced age and even went so far as to ask about objectives of retirement and how one sees one’s final legacy. The categories to choose between were financial, relationship, spiritual and purpose (defined most often as work). I would actually say that financial is not so much one of fulfillment as of necessity. Spirituality is something that is hard to equate to action, but is rather something that happens within one’s soul and as such may be an issue of free will, but does not involve so much a choice for action as a state of mind. That leaves relationships and purpose and that is what I think is the balancing act that we all face as we get older. The wisest among us understand the equal important of both. The less thoughtful may well appreciate the need for relationships but not feel that work cannot come to an end in retirement. In fact, we are often faced with the exact opposite problem when we arrive in retirement. We suddenly find that wishing away work and purpose seems fine in advance and OK for a short period of time, but then creates a gap in its absence.
I think that most of us in retirement spend more time worrying about how to fill our time with purpose rather than seeking more time for things like leisure. I admit that it’s a delicate balance, and many do not want to be completely back in harness, but being needed and being useful feels pretty good. I almost think that there is an advisory business needed that would help retirees find ways to maximize their deployment to the level that best suits them and advises them not only in how to find those opportunities, but also helps them find that best balance ing point. I do feel that this will represent a moving target as we age and it is likely that on an individualistic basis, there will be need to find work or purpose that can be flexibly adjusted based on our ongoing physical abilities and desires. My guess is that our desire is mostly a function of how well we find the right activities that inspire us and please us and feel less like work and more like purpose.
In retirement, the flows are all outgoing unless you find this sort of work. I actually think it is very uplifting, much more so than indicated by the exact amounts involved. Its like when you were a kid and first got a paycheck. It was less about the money since your needs were likely met by your parents, and more about the sense of worth that gets established by being paid for your efforts. Do you remember in Saturday Night Fever when Tony tells his boss that he is thrilled to be given a ten cent an hour raise and explains that it is the first time anyone told him he was good at doing something? That is what someone in retirement gets out of a paycheck. It is a reminder that the world still needs and values what they have to give. We are all here on this earth for only so long and no one wants to feel that they are beyond their usefulness,
In my expert witness work, I often find myself calculating in my head how much they pay me per hour for my work, applying that to the normal weekly hours I would spend in my heyday on Wall Street and then multiplying it out on an annualized basis. I can easily get to a number that reminds me that there is good value to what I have learned and the experience I have gained over the years. That is a good feeling and since the work is very flexible about when I do it for the most part and where I do it, almost all of the negatives of work, from commuting to having a fixed schedule to having to put in more hours than I want are all set aside. Last month I put in over 90 hours and so far this month I have logged about that much and still have a few weeks to go in the month. I like the work, but mostly, I enjoy being useful, just like Arnold’s father told him.