An Extra Day in the Life
It’s Monday and I have now been in Ithaca for five days in the warm embrace of cousin Pete and Nancy in their comfortable home on South Hill. It was Nancy, working for Cornell Development in 1997, who met me at an alumni function and said that she was married to my cousin. I got to know Pete and Nancy and hired Pete to manage my house on Warren Road. That was the beginning of a wonderful and warm connection which has lasted for 28 years and has made Pete my very closest relative. While being my first cousin once removed, he is only seven years my junior (though decades more fit), so we operate like generational peers. He is the younger brother I never had. This has made for a great family friendship that has had us travel together all over the United States (particularly the West) and Italy, France, Ireland, Bermuda, Morocco and Mexico. There is no one in our extended family that doesn’t enjoy a trip that includes Pete & Nancy. For one reason or another I planned this trip to return tomorrow and yesterday I got to thinking that I have imposed on Pete & Nancy enough and I might best try to get home a day earlier by leaving today. I spent 40 minutes or so on the phone with Delta to try and make that work, and while it was possible, there were potential travel risks (like tight connections) that I was unwilling to take, so I just decided to keep my prior arrangements and leave comfortably tomorrow as originally planned. Since I have done most of the reconnecting and remembrance I can think to do here in Ithaca, I now have to figure out how to use my day.
It’s another cool and cloudy day here so my inclination is to do almost exactly what I would do at home. In fact, as a retired person who does some remote work when and if I choose to, there is very little I do at home that I cannot do here in Ithaca (or in most any other place that has a decent internet WiFi connection). So, I will write my stories and do my expert work and spend my time contemplating things about Ithaca that mean a lot to me. The first and greatest of those things are the people. That starts with Pete and Nancy, who I am so, so very happy that we connected those 28 years ago and have been able to add as much pleasant texture to our lives over the years. I think it is fair to say that the single biggest reason I want to keep coming back to Ithaca is that Pete & Nancy are here. The other people are those like Joe & Marney, who, as I have explained already are very dear to my heart for all that our connection has done for me. Pete, Nancy and I were invited over to Joe & Marney’s lovely lakeside home for dinner last night. We had a great evening admiring the westward views of the lake and the surrounding flora of the region, and spent our time before and during a simple yet exceptional grilled meal talking about our shared experiences in Ithaca and at Cornell. We shared many very animated stories and tall tales as good friends do. And then there are John & Elaine and their magnificent estate further up the lake and with equally wonderful westward views a bit more at water level than Joe & Marney’s. Those intimate and fun tall tales were equally engaging. Then there was my evening at Sage Hall with my extended Cornell and Johnson School colleagues and alumni acquaintances. Those conversations were a bit more catch-up than intimate, but they are also pleasant in the way that general social interactions with people that have a shared allegiance tend to be. We ended that session with the traditional singing of the Cornell Alma Mater. Of course the verse that seems so poignant starts with “High above Cayuga’s waters…”, which is exactly where I had been spending my visit between South Hill and various spots along East Hill and the eastern shore of the lake.
The other interaction that was interesting was my visit to Warren Road. I got to see how the new folks who own the leasehold at 313 Warren Road have renovated and updated the house I occupied for 25 years. Everything they have done from the backyard garden to the renovated bathroom was both not offensive to me nor hard to appreciate since they have a young family and one can understand that they have their own particular family needs to fulfill. I am blessed to have moved so much in my life that I have been forced to learn to keep eyes forward and not lingering on the past. That house holds many memories for me but I know that life moves on and physical places need to change to keep up with the times and needs of the younger generations. Fundamentally, I am not at all biter that others are enjoying something that I consider my own creation (perhaps more a re-creation), and, in fact, I get not inconsiderable pleasure seeing that life goes on and a nice young family is getting to enjoy what I so much enjoyed.
And that extends to my good friend, Clover, next door on Warren Road. My extra day today has seen a few texts back and forth with Clover over the story I wrote and published here yesterday. I, like most writers, tend to write about what I know and like. That means that I write about the people in my life and since everyone reads things as they choose to interpret them, I have certainly learned that there is a minefield out there when you write about places and people that are familiar to those who might read your stories. I have offended many over the years and always feel so contrite about it because I don’t want to upset people even though I don’t mind creating a few waves in their lives since that is the sort of texture I tend to like. Not everyone likes the waves as much as I do. I have actually thought a lot over the years about whether to simply not write such stories. My children do not completely know why I feel the need to be such an open book, but they have come to accept it, I think. Kim is forever looking at me out of the corner of her eye and will issue me a cease and desist at times when I traverse especially tender issues or risk treading on sensitive people. And yet, she understands me well enough to know that I cannot completely control myself and have to have some leash to roam in a literary sense.
I wrote yesterday’s story carefully to be sure to not upset Clover, especially since I guessed that the issue of the new neighbors was a sensitive issue. The term Mission Impossible comes to mind and as pleasant as our visit yesterday was, the subsequent reading of my story on the topic of happenings on Warren Road got a tad sticky. We exchanged 15 texts today to clear the air and I think we are both on good terms as I close out this year’s Ithaca visit. We even agree that we should be sure to see each other next year during my 50th undergraduate reunion.
Let me be perfectly clear about something, nothing that has taken place in my interchange this weekend is anybody’s fault but my own. My life is about trying to be fun-loving, engaging and expressive. My perception of my engagement and humor are, as to be expected, not without some difference from the perception of others. I guess what I would say is that whenever I have an extra day in my life, I tend to need to use it to clean up whatever bull-in-china-shop remains that I inadvertently leave behind me. Thank goodness I at least have the time to make amends as I go. On to my next china shop.