Ablutions are ritual washing or cleansing practices, typically performed as part of religious ceremonies or personal hygiene routines. The term comes from the Latin word “ablutio,” meaning “a washing away.” The purpose of ablutions generally relates to spiritual purification, preparing oneself for prayer or worship, or marking transitions between states of ritual purity and impurity. In modern usage, “ablutions” can also refer more generally to the act of washing oneself, particularly in British English. When you think of it, we all have our morning and evening rituals with regard to cleansing, and yet we don’t really have a better expression for it than ablutions, even though most of us don’t really understand that word or use it easily. It’s sounds pretentious, right?
While I was never in the military, the morning ritual is called “shit, shower, and shave” (sometimes called the “three S’s”). It became popularized in military settings where soldiers often had limited time for personal hygiene and needed an efficient morning routine before formation or duty. The military emphasis on personal cleanliness, time management, and discipline made this quick sequence a standard practice. The phrase reflects the no-nonsense, direct language common in military environments, and it has since spread to civilian usage, particularly among veterans and others familiar with military culture. The routine represents the bare minimum personal care expected of military personnel even when time is extremely limited, ensuring they maintain basic hygiene standards while adhering to strict schedules. I’m not sure I prefer that phraseology to using ablutions to describe my morning practices, so I’m still searching for a reference for this vital daily task.
Men are supposed to be more basic than women with regard to such things. The stereotype is for the woman’s bathroom to be cluttered with beauty paraphernalia while the men’s is limited to a bar of soap, toothpaste and a razor. But it just ain’t so. I know from watching House Hunters that everyone (male and female) wants at least dual vanity sinks. Most would prefer his and her bathrooms altogether, but few can afford that. Our master bath came with shared shower, partitioned toilet, and entirely separate vanities with lots of counter space, nine drawers and three cabinets. I cannot imagine what could possibly fill up this 30 cubic feet of personal hygiene space, but Kim needed to add an entire three mirror vanities above to comfortably house all of her personal items. As for me, I have succeeded in filling up the space allotted me and have little or no vacancies for more.
The array of things that get included in one’s ablution kit is generally bounded on one side by those things used for cleanliness and hygiene and on the other side, those things needed for one’s health. There may be some overlap in those two functions, but I suspect most people could keep a clear demarcation between the two purposes. Another dimension has to do with venue of use. What I mean is that there are those items intended for use here at home and need only to be accessible when needed, and those things that need to be in the travel kit for use during times away from home. I have at least 15% of my stored vanity stuff that is specifically for travel and available to be reloaded with minimal difficulty to insure that I don’t run out of either major category (hygiene and health) while on a trip that might extend as long as a month. Having done a three-week trip in March and planning another three-week trip in May, I am acutely aware of this reload sufficiency concept.
There is nothing worse than running out of a hygiene or health essential, whether on a trip or at home. An example of a low-risk item would be something like shampoo when traveling. Kim cares a lot about that, but I can make due for a few days with using something as crude as a bar of hand soap for washing my short hair, if need be. But if I get a cold while traveling (just as I did in the middle of the cruise around Cape Horn last month) and I do not have a supply of NyQuil and DayQuil, it is a bloody disaster. That is unlikely to happen at home because I use up probably 35% of my vanity space with extra replacement storage of all essential products. For instance, I have 5 extra toothpaste bottles and 4 extra deodorant sticks in my lower cabinet right now. That makes me feel I am never at risk of an out-of-stock situation.
Some vendors have addressed this need by ingeniously selling people on an automatic restocking program. It’s a great sales tactic and somewhat helpful for the busy or less observant/organized person. But estimating usage patterns can get tricky. An area where this comes up is with regard to razors and blades. I am a fan of Harry’s, who make a nice and convenient high quality product and has a refill plan that delivers a box of blades and shave cream to my door every three months. The razor blade sales model is the stiff of business school legend thanks to King Gillette, but Harry’s seems to have gotten service for that even more refined. Everyone feels the need to change razor blades at different frequency intervals. Compared to Mike, who says he gets 3 months out of one disposable razor, I am a far more picky blade replacer since I change out blades every two weeks or so or after what I would estimate is about 7 uses. That’s still only half as much use of blades as Harry’s likes to assume, the result is that I have one entire drawer dedicated to boxes of new blades and shave gel. Harry’s has a 3-month order hiatus program that is only one email away, but I’ve noticed that a three-month hiatus barely put a dent in my inventory, which has accumulated over five years. It all causes me to change blades with abandon, just to keep inventory under control.
And then there are the product misfires that seemed like a good idea at the time, but really didn’t prove too useful in the moment. I should probably clean out all that unused crap, but then, to what purpose? Do I need the vanity room? Not really. Thus vanity was built with abundant capacity, and what else would I use it for. How much Q-tip storage does one need in an era when Amazon guarantees same day delivery? I’m sure Harry’s would try to take over another storage drawer, but that ain’t happening. Also, sometimes I stop using products like Advil PM (as I am in such a hiatus right now), but I am only one back strain or knee wobble away from wanting access to bulk supply of such over-the-counter meds in clinical dosage volume. I keep abundant supplies of both regular Extra-strength Advil and Tylenol as well as their PM version cousins. One can never be too far from pain relief at this age.
As best I can figure out, I can account for about 75% of my vanity supplies as either necessary or at least prudently overstocked. As for the other 25% (remember, I am at full capacity in the vanity), I haven’t a clue what might be hiding in there either rusting away if it’s an implement, or moving way past its use-by date if its product or medication. I’m waiting for the fabled internet of things to extend to the vanity, so that Ablution Central can become totally efficient and up-to-date. Never gonna happen.